Page 17 of The Lake of Lost Girls

“Jess …” my dad’s voice sounded loud in the doorway. When I turned around he looked upset, too.

“Lindsey-Bug, there you are!” Mom called out, coming from the other end of the hallway. “Please stop running around, you’re going to get hurt. Come on, it’s time to get going.”

“Meet you at the car!” I yelled as I ducked under Mom’s arm and started to run again. I glanced back and waved to Jess before I left.

“She looked sad, but a lot of kids do when they go away to college,” I concluded, feeling suddenly very tired after the onslaught from the unexpected trip down memory lane.

“See, Lindsey, this is what I was talking about. There’s probably all kinds of stuff up in that head of yours that we can pry loose.” Ryan seemed invigorated, while I was completely depleted.

I had finished my coffee and he started to motion Rhonda over to order more drinks, but I shook my head. The memory had unnerved me. I had so few of my own recollections, but that day, dropping her off at college, that memory had been all mine.

While Ryan seemed to only be getting started, I was ready to put on the brakes.

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, finally sensing the change in my mood.

Was I okay? I had no idea. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt. But one thing was certain, I had to get away from RyanMcKay before I shared anything else that I wasn’t ready to hand over. He made it too easy to part with things that felt like they should belong solely to me.

“I think I’ve had enough for tonight.” I hadn’t gleaned much from Ryan, barring Jess’s cookie preference, and that should have bothered me, but it actually felt like he had helped me unearth a lot with the new memory. Now I needed to go home and process it.

“Sure, that’s fine,” Ryan said, trying to hide his dismay. He paid for our coffees and then walked with me outside.

“I’m parked across the street.” I indicated my red Toyota beneath the streetlight. Dad insisted the Japanese brand was the safest, which is why I drove one. “Thanks for the coffee. And, you know, the Jess stuff. It was nice to be able to talk about her for a while.”

“I’m glad. And if I came across as too eager, then I’m sorry. But I really feel like together we can figure out what happened to your sister.” He gave me a wide-toothed smile, as if he could barely contain himself.

His enthusiasm, which before had chafed me, now felt a little contagious. I started to feel a twinge of his belief that perhaps wecouldmake a good team. All in the name of finding out about Jess, of course. Feeling emboldened, I added, “I enjoyed the company, too.”

God, had I really said that?

I wasn’t typically forward with men I didn’t know. I was reserved. I kept to myself. It had been a means of survival in the years since Jess had gone missing. It’s hard to know who wants you foryouand not because of your connection to a tragedy. It’s disturbing how many people were drawn to trauma. It had left me skeptical and cautious.

A part of me hoped Ryan wouldn’t acknowledge my strange bout of flirting. But of course he acknowledged it. That seemed to be the kind of man he was. He saw it as an invitation I wasn’t sure I was offering. He took a step, closing the space between us, his eyes dropping to my mouth.

“I really enjoyed spending time with you too, Lindsey.”

I had the feeling he wanted to kiss me. Did I want to kiss him, too? Yes, he was attractive. Yes, he had helped me unbury a memory of Jess. But …

We stood awkwardly for a moment, neither sure what to do. I got the impression Ryan was used to getting what he wanted and he made no effort to hide he wantedme.But I wasn’t the kind of woman to hand over control to anyone. Even if he had nice eyes, a knee-trembling-inducing smile and potentially life-changing information about my missing sister.

“I should go,” I finally said. Things had been drawn out long enough. Wanting to keep my pride intact, I waved goodbye and crossed the street.

“Wait,” he called out. When I turned back, he hesitated. I felt myself tense up. With concern he would act on his attraction? Or anticipation because I wanted him to? “Can I see you again?” Ryan asked after a beat, remaining on the sidewalk. I nodded, smiling through the nervous buzzing in my stomach. His face lit up. “Tomorrow night?”

“I’m working the late shift at the hotel. How about during the day?”

“I’m on a deadline to get the first draft of my article to my editor, so I’ll be slammed all day.” He sighed in frustration, then he brightened. “Well, I have to eat sometime, so maybe I can time my dinner with your break?”

“Okay. I usually grab dinner around six thirty. Then maybe you can tell me more about Jess.” It was important to remind him, and myself, what the stakes were in this. What our arrangement was hinged on.

For a split second his smile seemed to falter before he quickly corrected himself. “Okay then.”

On the way home I thought about what was happening with Ryan. He was older than me, more Jess’s age than mine—but, as much as I wanted to deny it, I felt a connection to him that was both new and unexpected.

Maybe that meant something, maybe it didn’t, but, for the first time in my life, I thought I might be willing to see where it went.

Ten Seconds to Vanish: The Unsolved Disappearanceof Jessica Fadley

Episode 4

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