Page 10 of The Lake of Lost Girls

“What the hell?” Daisy complained. She disliked Tammy and made no attempt to hide it.

“Hi, Tammy,” I greeted, even though she didn’t bother to look at me. As usual, her focus—and annoyance—was reserved entirely for my roommate.

“What’d I do this time?” Daisy sighed.

Daisy had been on Tammy’s bad side since the beginning. I wasn’t sure why. The RA was meant to be someone you could talk to, someone who was there to help. Not “Tight-ass Tammy” as she was known by the residents of Westwood Hall. If she smelled fun, she was there to shut it down. None of the girls on the hall could stand her. Yet, I knew there was more to Tammy than that. A side she staunchly hid in her day-to-day life.

I had overheard her talking to her parents on the phone one of the first nights at school. I could hear someone yelling at her on the other end, and from her look of broken anguish, it clearly wasn’t the first time. We had locked eyes and I was immediately sheepish at having been caught eavesdropping. I could have told her I understood having a complicated relationship with your parents. But I didn’t.

Tammy slammed the door in my face with an angry huff. From that moment on I knew that underneath that rigid exterior was a vulnerable little girl. That didn’t make her any less of a pain. If anything, her refusal to connect with the girls she was tasked with watching over made her easier to dislike.

“I saw that guy coming out of your room this morning looking like he slept over,” Tammy accused, hands on her ample hips.

“I didn’t realize you were so invested in my sex life,” Daisy goaded.

Tammy’s cheeks flushed red. She was much shorter than me, only coming up to my chin, but she seemed to be trying to make up for her lack of height with unearned authority. Her hair was permed into tight curls and stuck out all over head like a deranged Shirley Temple.

“You are not permitted to have overnight guests of the opposite sex, Daisy. This is a female-only dorm. You signed the resident contract. I’ll have to write you up, and if you get two more infractions, you’ll be taken before the campus disciplinary committee,” Tammy warned.

“Oh no, Jess,” Daisy looked at me, “not the campus disciplinary committee.” Daisy yawned again. “Now if you don’t mind, Jerry needs my attention.” She turned back at the TV, clearly finished with Tammy.

The RA finally looked at me. “You need to get it through to her that this is serious. We’re only ten weeks into the first semester. I’ve seen a lot of girls come through this place who think partying and sleeping around is more important than getting an education. I’m your RA, I’m supposed to keep you on the right track, but it’s up to you if you want to be here. You flunk out, it’s no skin off my nose.”

“Oh, I want to be here, Tammy,” Daisy said, interrupting her lecture, “I’ve never gotten so much action.” Daisy winked. Before I could respond, Tammy turned on her heel and left. Once she was gone, Daisy let out an exasperated groan. “That bitch has some nerve. What a hypocrite.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen her sneaking that old dude into her room late at night? I caught her last week. He looked married too if the ring on his left hand is any indication.”

I felt sick. “Tammy’s screwing around with a married man?”

“Sure seemed like it. They weren’t playing cards, that’s for damn sure.” She tapped her chin. “Hmm, I wonder what the campus disciplinary committee would think aboutthat?”

I took a deep breath. “I need to go. I swear to God, if Tammy makes me miss out on Krispy Kreme Donut Day, I will murder her.”

Daisy giggled as I left our room.

I headed out to the quad, enjoying the crisp autumn air. I loved the walk across campus to the Commons that housed the cafeteria, student bookshop, and a snack bar and pool room called The Grotto.

I ruminated over what Daisy had told me about Tammy being involved with a married man. The idea of it made me feel horrible in ways I couldn’t explain. I tried to put the ugliness out of my mind, even if it wanted to stick there like glue.

Southern State University lay on the north side of my hometown of Mt. Randall, North Carolina. It sat perched at the top of a steep slope. All the streets leading from town crawled upward toward its imposing entrance. I had grown up mesmerized by the college’s stately columns and redbrick buildings. It felt like another planet.

I had graduated high school at the top of my class and scored a 1510 on my SATs. I took four AP classes and, in addition to those advanced placement courses, had participated in a large number of impressive extracurricular classes. I had been accepted to several prestigious schools, but it felt like a foregone conclusion that I’d attend the same small college in my hometown that both of my parents had attended. And if there was one thing I was good at, it was living up to expectations.

Daisy had seemed shocked when I admitted to growing up only three miles away. She was from Dallas, Texas. Going from a city to a tiny town like Mt. Randall must have been a culture shock.

“Didn’t you want to get away?” she had asked me as she tried to understand. I couldn’t explain that packing up my things and driving up the hillhad beengetting away. She couldn’t see the invisible boundary that existed betweenMt. Randall and Southern State. Not yet. But the college students quickly learned that there was the town—and there was the school. The two coexisted but never interacted. The locals held a begrudging tolerance toward the staff and students of Southern State. Yet that tolerance easily morphed into disgust and annoyance at the smallest provocation.

“It’s so pretty,” I exclaimed, holding tightly to my dad’s hand as he led me along the brick-lined pathways that wove through the trees on campus. “When I grow up, I want to live here just like you used to.”

At six years old, “pretty” was the most important requirement when thinking of somewhere I wanted to spend time. I knew the school well. Dad would often drive me up to the college where he had met my mom. She never came. It was always just Dad and me.

Dad laughed and squeezed my hand. “Then you will, sweetheart. All you have to do is work hard and you can do anything you put your mind to.” He swung me around, making me squeal. “You are super-Jess!”

When he put me back down on my feet I held my arms out wide, twirling. “I love it, Daddy! I love it so much!”

Dad leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose and rustled my hair. “Then it will be yours.”

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