Page 98 of The Lake of Lost Girls

Ryan looked taken aback. “What the hell, Jess?”

I pushed him toward the stairwell. “You need to leave. I have too much to do and I’m not in the mood to fight with you right now.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on,” he insisted.

“I need you to go, Ryan.” I was practically begging him. I needed him gone. I needed him to stop asking questions. “Please go. I want some space right now.”

Ryan continued to stand there, clearly not sure what to do. With a huff of annoyance, I started down the stairs,knowing that he would follow me. Outside, I stopped in the middle of the quad in front of Westwood Hall. I realized with a twinge of regret that we stood in the same spot where we had our first kiss all those months ago.

That had been the first indication of how deluded I had been. To think I was capable of a normal relationship. A normal life.

“What’s going on with you?” Ryan demanded. He grabbed my arm, his fingers digging into my skin. It hurt. I relished the pain. “Tell me why you’re doing this to me.” His voice cracked. His pain evident.

“I’m not doing anything—”

“Were you with him?” Ryan suddenly shouted. We had the full attention of everyone walking by.

“Who are you talking about?’ I asked, but I knew exactly what he was asking me.

“Dr. Daniels. You’ve been ditching me constantly to see him.”

I snorted. “For tutoring, Ryan. Are you serious?”

A couple walked by, their watchful eyes on us. I noticed my former pledge sister Erica on the other side of the quad not even trying to be discreet as she watched us.

Ryan let go of my arm and I instantly missed the feel of his touch, even in anger. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to act this way. I love you so much, Jess. I want us to be okay and I feel like we’re definitelynotokay and I want to know why.”

The first tears started to fall and I couldn’t stop them. “Ryan, I’m sorry. I’m not the person you think I am.”

Ryan reached for me again, tenderly this time, the anger leaching out of him as he wiped my cheeks. “What are you talking about? You’re the best person I know.”

I shook my head and pulled away. “Stop it. You’re making this harder than it needs to be. I’m not good enough for you. I never will be.”

He finally caught on to what was happening. He looked distressed. “Jess, come on—”

“I’m sorry.” I shook my head.

“Jess, please.”

“We’re done, Ryan. This is over.” I took a step back, putting the necessary distance between us. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“Baby, don’t. I have no idea why you’re doing this, but you love me. I know you do.” I hated the sound of his desperation. It broke my heart. It made me feel worse than I already did.

“You don’t know a thing about how I feel,” I snarled. “You don’t even know me.”

“I do—”

“You have no idea who I am!” I yelled.

Ryan’s expression darkened. “What the hell, Jess?”

“Just go. Stay away from me, Ryan.” I turned away, hoping he got the message. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. It hurt too much.

He was quiet for a long time. I knew he was debating how to proceed. Part of me wanted him to fight for me. Part of me wanted him to leave and never look back—it would be better for both of us.

“You’ll regret this, Jess. I swear to God, you’re going to regret this.” And then, finally, I heard him walk away.

My knees could barely support me as I hurried back to my room.

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