Page 97 of The Lake of Lost Girls

I didn’t blame her.

I picked up the torn sheet of paper where I had written an address down after Dr. Daniels—Clement—had given it to me.

Was I really going to do this?

Was I really going to meet up with my professor outside of school and do … what?

I was sick and tired of my actions being dictated by selfish men. Every bad thing in my life had to do withtheirwants and desires consuming me.

I put my hand in my pocket to feel for the ring I always carried, only to remember it was no longer there. It was gone forever. My skin felt naked without it, but also free.

There was a knock at the door. I dropped the paper on my desk and covered it with a book.

I opened the door and had to swallow a groan. Ryan stood in the hallway looking like he hadn’t slept in a week.

“Why won’t you call me back? We were supposed to meet yesterday, but you never showed up.” He looked lost and confused, and I understood why. I had been avoiding him. “Have I done something to piss you off?”

I wanted to tell him to leave. I didn’t have the energy to fight right now, and that’s what he seemed to be gearing up for. It’s what we did, after all. But there would be no making up this time.

I felt a deep, conflicted sadness at the realization that our relationship had run its course.

I already mourned its death.

“I was busy,” I lied. The truth was I had been with Dr. Daniels trying to figure out a way to save my life.

“I thought things were good between us, Jess. What changed?” His words became a challenge, the volume rising.

I couldn’t tell him that he was getting too close. That every day it became harder and harder to keep my secrets from him. To hold things back.

I loved Ryan. I knew that with bone deep certainty. And that love meant the end of us.

“Stop being so clingy. It’s not cute,” I snapped cruelly.

Hurt flashed across his face and I wished, with everything I had, I could take the words back. I had never spoken to him like that before. But it was too late. The first shot had been fired.

I had forgotten how to be the version of Jess I had been before. I was morphing into someone else entirely.

Ryan picked at his thumbnail. “Can I at least come in so we can talk—?”

“No, I said I was busy. And I really don’t have time for all this, Ryan. I’m trying to get my stuff together so I can go home.” I pulled the door closed behind me, stepping into the hall.

“Are you sure you want to go home? Especially after the argument with your dad?” He was so concerned, I almost wavered.

“You don’t know a thing about my dad.”

“I know how much you hate him. You’ve made that clear enough.”

I rolled my eyes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re the one who told me about—” he dropped his voice low, “him sleeping with those young women.”

My face heated up. I wanted to scream at my lack of restraint.

“Jess, you said you were scared.”

Why had I told Ryan so much? This is why he was dangerous. It was too easy to tell him things he had no right to know.

“Shut up about that,” I hissed, letting some of my anger show itself. “It’s none of your business.”

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