Page 75 of The Lake of Lost Girls

Finally, he took my hand, lacing our fingers together and pressing them to his thigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

My stomach twisted into knots, but not with excitement.

“It’s really upsetting. The whole thing, Jess.” He paused before continuing. “Look, can we not talk about it? It’s all anyone ever seems to want to talk about. Everywhere I go it’s Meghan this, Phoebe that, did you hear about Tammy? I … I can’t, okay. I need to not think about them for a while. I want to think about you and me. I want a couple of hours for us and no one else. Is that cool?”

I felt numb. “Sure, Ryan. I want that, too. You and me and no one else.”

He seemed to brighten.

All I felt was dread.

The feeling got worse when I realized where Ryan was going.

I was paralyzed, unable to speak, when he turned off the main road, driving over the bumpy gravel before finally coming to a stop beneath a thick overhang of trees at the edge of Doll’s Eye Lake.

He turned off the ignition and grabbed the plastic bag from the back seat before opening the door. When I made no move to follow him, he looked at me in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

I stared out at the glistening surface of the lake. My heart thumped loudly in my ears.

“Why did you bring me here? How do you even know about this place?” I croaked. I sounded as if I had swallowed broken glass. My bones felt leaden. My muscles turned to jelly.

I should have felt comforted to be here. This special place that resided in my best childhood memories.

Yet I wasn’t. This place reminded me of everything that I had lost. And of a father who had become a stranger. It was now filled with nightmares.

“I told you, I came here a couple of times as a kid. My grandma used to live in town and I’d come to the lake to fish when I’d visit. I remember it being secluded and out of the way. I thought some privacy might be nice.” He sounded strange. Almost excited.

My heart fluttered wildly. “I don’t know …”

Ryan’s eyes were pleading. “I want to be alone with you.”

“We can be alone in my dorm room,” I countered, still not getting out of the car.

“Yeah, but here no one can hear you scream,” he chuckled, kissing the side of my neck, brushing his nose along the underside of my jaw.

I knew he was trying to be sexy, but his words made me uneasy.

He had no idea why I hated Doll’s Eye Lake so much. Somewhere I had once loved was now the last place I wanted to be. Not after everything.

“Jess, stop being weird and get out of the car.” He sounded impatient.

“I …” I looked around us, realizing how alone we were.

“Jess, damn it, get out!”

My hand was trembling as I reached for the handle. I didn’t want to get out. I wanted to go back home. I wanted to have never opened the door to Ryan McKay. I wished I could go back in time.

Ryan came around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. He held out a hand and I took it. He tugged me out, pulling me close to his body.

He smiled down at me. “Now I have you all to myself with no interruptions.”

Ryan kissed me rougher than usual. He seemed irritated by my lackluster response.

We walked closer to the edge of the lake. My legs were shaky and I stumbled twice. Ryan’s arms were there to catch me each and every time.

I noticed a car parked a few feet away from us and relief flooded through me.

“Looks like we’ll have to forget about being alone. Maybe we should scrap this idea and head back to campus” I pointed to the shiny Chevy Impala.

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