Page 72 of The Lake of Lost Girls

Rachel & Stella:Mm-hmm.

Rachel:I really wish you could tell us these guys’ names.

Stella:I know, but no one’s looking to get sued here. All I can say is you can probably figure out who they are if you Google for more than thirty seconds.

Rachel:So, we have not one, buttwosketchy men circling around the female coeds of Southern State University in the late nineties. And these men are like fleas, where there’s one, there’s always more.

Stella:What do you think about the theory that these girls were victims of a serial killer? Do you think it has any merit?

Rachel:I don’t know. It’s easy to point the finger in that direction, as there were killers operating in the area at the time, but when it comes to murder, it’s often best to look close to home.

Stella:Right, like someone the girls all knew.

Rachel:Exactly. Though I don’t want us to rule out the serial-killer angle, I think we need to dig deeper into these other dudes. Because it seems like there’s something there.

Stella:And one thing we’ve learned since starting this podcast is there’salwaysmore to the story than we think.

CHAPTER13

JESS

Early April, 1999

I WAS SUPPOSEDto be studying for exams, but neither my head nor my heart was in it. The soft drones of the Dave Matthews Band played through the speakers of my stereo. Daisy was at a pledge meeting and wouldn’t be back for a few hours, leaving me all alone.

I had been officially put on probation with Pi Gamma Delta. I had been relieved of my pledge duties and wouldn’t be inducted at the end of the month. I hadn’t quite been kicked out, but I was on thin ice until I could pull my GPA up.

Who knew sororities were such sticklers for grades?

Daisy had been practically inconsolable when I told her. I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t care one bit about being in Pi Gamma Delta. That as the months passed and my life continued to teeter on the edge of the abyss, the things that had mattered only a short time ago no longer did.

Sometimes, I wondered what it would be like to disappear.

Not apoofand you’re gone kind of moment, but a slow fade.

Is that what I was doing now?

Would no one notice until I was no longer here?

I looked around the tiny dorm room trying to remember the girl who had taped posters to the walls in August. What happened to her? When had I stopped trying and fallen into barely existing? I wanted to blame my dad for everything. Lord knows he had been the primary villain for a while now. But when would I accept that this chaos was partly my own doing?

My father and I really did make a perfect team. We were both masters at self-sabotage.

My dad had ruined everything.

He had ruinedme.

And I, in turn, had destroyed any chance at a normal life.

This is why I hated being alone.

I couldn’t trust myself—my thoughts. They always went to dark, uncomfortable places.

I had been trying to read the same passage in my biology textbook for the past twenty minutes, But I was having a hard time focusing. Every time I tried to concentrate, my thoughts would wander to Tammy. And Phoebe. And Meghan.

They were everywhere. I couldn’t escape them. I tried to act like I wasn’t worried. That their disappearances didn’t affect me, but it was all a lie, and not so deep down, I was terrified.

I had become quite adept at dishonesty.

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