Page 18 of Never Say Yes To Your Best Friend (I said Yes)

“Mom.” That word is all gravel with a hint of please kill me now. The only thing that’s going to save me is the fact that other than Marjorie sitting over at the reception desk with the most curiously contained expression, it’s just us here to witness this.

“Of course, I wanted to meet this amazing, fantastic, and lovely woman of your dreams as well.” She’s still holding Evilla’s hand. “You’re a goddess. You’ve captivated my son’s soul, and I couldn’t be happier. Possess him. Possess him hard. I want grandchildren one day, but all in good time. Right now, I’m justso, so very happy to meet you. I thought this day would never come. You’ve made me the happiest woman in the world. You’ve already worked wonders in Mont’s life, seeing as he bought an entire company just to be close to you. He’s so enthusiastic about pudding. You should hear the things he said, all the plans he’s making. Ahhhh, I can barely take it. You two, making pudding together.” She brushes a tear out of her eye.

This is too much. Before I die of humiliation or possibly the dagger stare that Evilla is going to thrust on me, I step forward. I have to detach my mother.

Also, at any second, Evilla is going to drop the bomb that we’re not really together. That I lied about everything.

Her other hand comes up, but instead of prying Mom’s fingers off of hers, she closes them on top of hers. “Yes,” she says in the gushiest voice. That’s not her real voice. I know it’s not. It’s too high, not the smoky tones she just used to give me a tongue-lashing at the coffee shop. “It’s so good to meet you. I’m so excited for what the future holds.”

What? She is? No. No, she’s not.Why is she going along with this?

“Goodness!” Mom fans herself for no reason at all. Wait. I think it’s because she’s going to cry. The fanning motion does nothing at all for that. I’ve seen it before. Bawling is about to go down.

I have to intervene before we have waterworks in here that rival the storm outside. “We should really be getting to work, Mom. There’s always so much to do in the first few days. Evilla wants us to be under the radar here. We’re not a pudding king and queen. We’re just regular people, and she doesn’t want it to appear like her dating me gives her special status.”

“Right! Right.” Mom drops her hand and backs up. “I’ll let you get on with your day then.” Like we’re not standing heresoaked as slippers, accidentally drowned in a driveway puddle. “Promise me you’ll try the pudding, Bergamont.”

I’ve officially reached maximum humiliation.

Especially when my mother follows that up with a kiss on my cheek and a squeeze on my shoulder and then just saunters away. She stops at the front door and gives a queenly wave before stepping out into the pouring rain, looking happy enough to dance in it.

I rush to the door. There are holy shit amounts of lightning out there, but my mom races to her car, which is parked on the street right in front of the building. I don’t know why I didn’t even see it when I was racing over here. Oh, right. I was distracted. Mom gets in the car without mishap. She’s wet, but my mom is the kind of person who never lets a little bit of rain stop her.

Marjorie seems to be the kind of woman who won’t let this spread, but she’s giving us both that strange, undiluted look of curious disbelief.

Evilla points to the hallway. “Your office,darling.I’d just like to talk for a minute if that’s alright?”

“Did my mom seriously drop off enough pudding to feed everyone?” There has to be a rule about this. It seems like a liability waiting to happen. This is not how I wanted to kick off my first day here.

Marjorie looks like a cat that just got gifted a whole cage of canaries, and her nod confirms it. “She did. I’ve put it in the staff fridge. She did insist that I taste it, and it’s marvelous. I think she’s right. We just might have found a new flavor.”

“Hold that thought for just a minute. I’ll be right back.”

She gives us a secret little smile. It’s either she’s pleasantly surprised at the knowledge that we’re secretly a thing, or she knows we just pulled a fast one on my mother. I’m not sure which, and I need to get to my office and figure out what the heck just happened.

We’re both still soaking wet, but that’s not why Evilla gives me a look like she just stepped in a puddle of cold urine left by an incredibly cute puppy right after she put on a brand new pair of socks because the last ones went the way of socks in the washer, compliments of said puppy and a different puddle.

“W—why?” I stammer. That’s the best I can do. I have no words. I’m utterly confused.

She crosses her arms. Her wet clothes press alluringly against the curves of her body. Her hair is starting to dry off on top, and the little frizzy strands stand out all over the place. Her mascara is running down one cheek, and it’s also starting to dry. She’s probably standing in an inch of water in her shoes, and her clothing is still dripping onto the floor, but she manages to look like a regal queen.

“Because I’ve changed my mind. I think this might actually be fun.” The way she saysfunsounds more like I’m about to be strapped to a medieval torture device. It might be entertaining for her, but it’s definitely not going to be pleasant for me. “I don’t want a promotion. I want you to restructure the company so everyone gets a raise and feels seen and heard no matter what their position is. Sure, there can still be bosses and all that, but teamwork is a way better option. Everyone here is great. I think it could work, everyone sharing in the leadership. And I want shares. People work better when they’re invested in what they’re doing. Everyone here already has a great love for this place, so they should be part owners. And I don’t mean paltry shares that don’t mean anything. I mean real shares. You bought this company on a whim, which means you’re richer than god. You don’t really need it. So, prove you can be a good person with a good heart. Give it back to the employees. When you succeed, they succeed.”

“I thought you said you didn’t want me to do that?”

Her eyes narrow. “If it means everyone else gets a big boost, then I can handle that you’re going to the top with them. I care about the people here. They’re real people with real problems, real hearts, real families, and real lives that have stresses and financial obligations. If you do that, then I’ll continue to pretend I’m your fake girlfriend. For like…two months. However silly I think it might be, this place is more important. The people here matter more. I knew I loved my job, but I didn’t even realize how much until I thought about losing it. We’re a family here. You’re not allowed to walk in and break it up just because you have issues in your own family.”

I can’t keep my face from doing funny things. I don’t even know how to feel about this right now. “You thought all this up on the spot?”

“Your mother is very sweet and absolutelyterrifying, so I panicked. But while I was panicking, and she was taking my hand and looking for all the world as though I’d just made her entirelifeby existing, I made a decision. It’s all or nothing. You give the company back to us and make it the world’s best place to work, or I walk. It’s entirely up to you.”

“So you don’t think I’m entirely ball-less.”

She huffs. “Whatever. Your mom is nice. Lots of moms are nice. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the courage to tell her the truth.”

“But you didn’t either.”

She stiffens. “I’m a pushover, okay? We can both agree on that. I’m not trying to say I’m not. I didn’t want to destroy a lovely woman’s heart. But she’s not my mother. I’m real with my family. If they don’t like some of my decisions, I own it. You need to own it, too.”

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