Page 43 of Exposed

“Are you okay, Matt?” She asks cautiously.

“No,” I choke out, pacing with Simon. “I can’t do this.”

Memories flood my mind. Crunching metal. Glass shattering. Grace screaming, then her silence. Rain soaking my clothes and hair until I was freezing cold.

I can’t breathe or think. My mind is on overload.

“Matt?”

“What?” I snap. She must’ve asked me a question, but the noise in my head is too loud.

“Your parents are safe. You and Simon are safe. Are you worried about work?” Pepper asks.

“You won’t tell me any of your secrets, so why should I tell you mine?” I yell.

Simon jerks in my arms, and Pepper flinches and steps back from me. Simon looks in my eyes, then throws his head back and wails.

Dammit. That was a dick move.

“I’m sorry. My mind is fucked up right now. I didn’t mean to scare you, Simon,” I kiss the top of his head and rub his back, but he’s full on showing his tonsils while he screams bloody murder.

Pepper keeps her distance from me now. “I can watch Simon while you work if you want,” her voice is quiet but strong, and she holds her hands out to take Simon.

“Yeah. That can work. I’m sorry I scared you, Pepper.” I hand Simon to her. Maybe I need some distance and to lose myself in my work for a few hours.

I need to get myself together.Man the fuck up, Matt. You can’t change history. Move forward.

“Thanks, Pep. I’ll pay you.”

“Consider us fair and square for me eating your food and staying at your house.”

“No. I’ll pay you,” I insist. “You sure you’re comfortable with this?”

“Yeah. I babysat all through college. I’ll make sure he’s fed, clean and is comfy and asleep in bed before you get home.” She rocks him in her arms and pats his diaper covered bum while his all out wailing turns to whimpers. “Want to play with me, sweet Simon?” She softly traces his eyebrow with her fingertip.

Seeing her hold Simon, a sense of relief washes over me. I don’t have to ask if she knows where everything is or if she knows what to do. She’s a natural with babies.

A couple of hours later,I unlock my front door and quietly enter and relock it.

Shani growls low in the hallway, then scampers forward when she recognizes me.

“Hey, girl. You watching out for Pepper and Simon?” I bend down and ruffle her fur. “‘Atta girl.”

As I take my shoes off and set them by the front door, I think about how I can apologize to Pepper. Besides saying sorry again, I’d like to show her how remorseful I feel by making her come as many times as I can.

I owe her an explanation for how I royally freaked out on her this afternoon. I shouldn’t have yelled at her. Theimage of Simon’s terrified face when I yelled is burned into my memory. I don’t want to do that again. Thankfully, Simon won’t remember it. Unfortunately, Pepper and I will.

No lights are on in the house except the warm glow of the night lights: one in the kitchen and one coming from my room. I grab a drink of water and see that the dishes are all cleaned and put away. The Colorado Rockies magnet I got from my trip to Denver to see my friends is holding up a feeding schedule on the fridge.

Pepper measured out the next round of formula and set it next to the bottle warmer, so it’s ready to be prepared. A clean bottle is also out. Little things like that help immensely in the middle of the night when I’m half asleep.

Wow. Pepper took care of Simon and did that. I’m impressed.

If Pepper is awake, I’m hoping to show her how sorry I am. I want to kiss away the pain and fear I caused her. Memories of her delectable little body writhing on me makes my cock hard.

Shani leads the way to my room. When I open the door, my heart melts. Pepper is sleeping on her side next to Simon in his crib. She looks young with her face relaxed and her guard down while at rest. Simon’s truck blanket is draped over her feet, free and clear of Simon who’s laying on his back. They both look small and vulnerable, and I want to keep them from harm. I want to rescue Pepper from whatever is haunting her.

Shani looks at me, licks her chops, then takes her spot on the floor by Simon’s crib.

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