Page 111 of Exposed

“Actually, I’m pregnant, so we’ll have Simon and another baby. We’re calling him or her Peanut for now.”

“Anotherbaby? You don’t need me,” Rafe says.

“We want you. We love kids,” I smile.

“Everyone needs someone to protect them,” Matt says.

“Not me,” Rafe mumbles.

“I work sometimes, but I’d love Simon and Peanut to have a big brother. They’ll need a protector when I’m at work,” Matt explains. “We’ve got a house in the country with plenty of room to run around. Nice neighbors, too. We got you a gift. Something to play with outside.”

“Will you take the gift away when you decide I’m not what you want?” Rafe asks, his gaze fixed on Simon while our son checks out Rafe’s worn tennis shoes.

Matt’s eyebrows rise in surprise, but he schools his features. “Nah, man. It’s permanently yours. We hope you want to stay with us. But if you try out our home and don’t like it, you can always come back here.”

Rafe shakes his head, his eyes glued to the floor. “I’m not a great protector.” Then, he adds, barely audible, “I couldn’t save my sister.”

It’s obvious he carries a ton of guilt for not being able to save his twin.

Matt kneels down. “You’re mature, so let me level with you. You’re a great protector. I heard what happened to your sister, and I’m sorry you couldn’t break through that door. That has nothing to do with your ability to protect and everything to do with you being only eight. Give it a couple of years, and you’ll be strong enough to do anything you want. I can help you build your muscles.”

Rafe silently studies Matt, his eyes flitting to Matt’s muscular shoulders and biceps filling out his blue t-shirt.

When Rafe says nothing, Matt continues, “I love protecting the people I love, so we’d make a great team. We can’t change what happened in the past, Rafe, but we’d love to change your future. We have a safe home. Nothing like what happened to your sister happens where we live. Give us a chance. If we’re not a good fit, we’ll help you find a family who is.”

“You’ll hand me back to the social worker like the other two families did.” Rafe fires back, sitting up straighter and lifting his chin defensively.

“We won’t. We’ll help make sure you find your forever family if it’s not us. Family isn’t only the one you’re born into, Rafe. We’d like to be here to support you if you want, even if we’re not your forever family,” I offer.

Rafe probably feels powerless in this situation. I love giving him the freedom to know that we’ll help him find the family that’s the right fit for him, even if it isn’t us. But, boy, do I hope it is us. I already feel a pull to him.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten better at communicating my feelings and sharing about my childhood.

I take a deep breath, then share with Rafe, “You asked why we want you. The truth is, I had a rough childhood. We want to foster an older kid like you, because I wonder how my life would’ve been different if I’d grown up with a loving family. We want to give you love and protection, Rafe. We want to show you what it means to live with parents who will do anything to keep you safe and love you. Matt was the first person to ever protect me. Let us have our shot at loving and protecting you.”

Whew. That was hard. I shake my hands out, letting the extra anxiety work its way out of my body.

Rafe looks from me, to Matt, then to Simon. “Okay.”

“You won’t regret it,” Matt vows.

Rafe stands. He’s tall for an eight-year-old and very slim.

Matt goes to put his arm around Rafe’s shoulders, but Rafe flinches.

“Sorry,” Rafe mutters. “Habit.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re here for you. I promise you, Rafe, we’ll never hurt you.”

Matt reaches out his hand, and Rafe stares at it as if it’s a snake.

After a few moments, he looks at me again, then at Matt. My husband nods at him, and Rafe nods back. Then, Rafe slowly reaches out his hand to shake Matt’s.

“Let’s go home, family,” Matt smiles.

This is the start of something excellent. These three are my forever. Well, and the little one growing inside of me.

I pick up Simon, and we walk towards our future together. And you know what? I think it’s so bright, I’m going to need my sunglasses.

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