Matt holds Simon up so their faces are next to each other. They’ve both got dimpled chins and their eyes are the same shade of mesmerizing blue-green.
“He’s a mini you, Matt,” I agree.
Matt smiles at me, then looks at his watch. “Time to eat, little dude.”
I want to take full advantage of showering while I’m here. Plus, I need to dye my light roots. “I’m going to shower while we’re waiting for dinner.”
“Go for it. See you in the kitchen.”
“Hey, Matt?” I ask softly.
He’s almost outside the door, but spins around to face me. “Yeah?”
I’ve already imposed so much. What’s one more thing? “Can I do a load of laundry here?” I bite my lip nervously at my request.
“You don’t have to ask. Anything in my home, you’rewelcome to. Soap is in the cabinet above the washing machine.”
“You really are a gracious host,” I breathe a sigh of relief at his kindness.
“You and Simon are my favorite roommates.”
7
AMATEUR HOUR
MATT
After dinner, I do the dishes and attempt to organize Simon’s new things while he chills in the wearable baby carrier I bought today. Where am I going to put all of this crap?
Pepper helps me make room in the living area and my room, and we chat the whole night. It’s surface level and mostly about Simon, but I’d forgotten how nice it is to have someone to decompress with at the end of the day.
For years, I’ve been keeping myself company with Shani and the photos I edit on my laptop for work.
Grief works that way, I guess. Some people isolate themselves like I have. I don’t go out much. Going to the beach with old friends back on the small island of Aveline where I grew up has become rare. We’ve all grown andmoved on. Some of them have families. I thought I’d have a family with Grace by now, but life stole her away.
Pepper is folding her clean laundry on my couch. For the first time since Grace died, I’m looking at a girl and wondering if there could be something between us.
It’s clear no one has let her know that she’s a privilege to be around, and I have a burning need to show her. I just need her to let me in. Maybe if I’m open and vulnerable with her, that’ll help her feel comfortable being open.
“I need to give Simon a bath, but I’m afraid I’m going to drown him,” I confess.
“I’ll stand by for moral support,” she grins. “You’ll do great.”
I put the plastic bathtub in the kitchen sink and gather the special baby soap and washcloth I bought.
“Okay, Simon. We’ve got this.” I take off his diaper and hope he doesn’t poop while I’m bathing him.
His body is floppy, so I hold him gently with one hand around his torso while I wash him with the other hand.
I don’t want him slipping. Good thing he’s small, because my hand can literally engulf his whole body and keep him in place.
“Do I need to wash his hair?” I ask Pepper.
“Probably.”
He’s a slippery little booger while he’s all wet.
“Right.” I hold him with one hand while I sprinkle water on his blonde locks and add a squirt of soap. Then, I look at the faucet and Simon, weighing my options.