Page 96 of Georgia-Blue & Hudson

I clear my throat.

Me

I’m turning in, Blue. Hope you had a good night

GB

I did, hope you did too. Goodnight

Me

Night

I put my phone down and run my hands over my face.

No amount of small talk or pretending everything is all cool and normal is going to take away from the fact something happened to me in Florida.

I know I’ve fallen for Miss Precious Princess and now I’m lying my socks off not just to myself but everyone around me. What I really want to do is come clean and let the guilt go. I fucking want her. And I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

I jump on the dirt bike the next morning and take it for a spin to clear my head. I speed my way down the property past the oak trees until the wind is flying by my face and I feel like I have no cares in the world.

I don’t ride the bike much, and it’s nowhere near as good as a horse but it’s all I have for a rush right now.

On my way back, I stop by the gap in the trees, facing The Hundred Acre Woods; where the cotton meets the forest. I think back to the day Georgia and Autumn came over to do the photo shoot. We may be harvesting right now, but the far end of the farm won’t be harvested until way after Callan and Celeste’s wedding, so it’s still going to make a nice backdrop for their photos.

Was it back when she came over that day? Did I already know I was in love with her?

Wait.

I’m in love with her?

I park the bike and sit on a nearby log and think back to when it possibly could have happened. Longer ago than I’ve cared to admit.

I’ve always been fond of her, but this last year, something changed between us. I know she flirts with me, even when she’s teasing, and I’ve only just allowed myself to acknowledge it. I never acted on it, obviously. She was the Bassett Brothers' little sister.

I think my mama always knew. I know how much she loved Georgia-Blue and always had a soft spot for her. I smile thinking about it, and for once, thinking about my mom doesn’t cause me the crushing pain in my chest that I usually feel.

I’ve always felt guilty for the time I spent away and not being around to help my dad on the farm. My parents never made me feel that way, they were happy if I was happy. But it still makes me feel a little selfish, even if I was just living my life.

“I miss you so much, Mom,” I say out loud as I look up to the sky, and just as I do, the clouds seem to part right above me letting the sun beam through like a beacon, warming me to my core.

I start to think about the conversation I had with Georgia when she woke me from my nightmare. She told me Mom wouldn’t want me to be sad and how proud she would be of me.Do I really think Mom would be proud?

I try every day to prove to myself that I’m a man worth my time on earth by not taking the small stuff for granted. I may still be a broody fucker, or a Grumpy Pants like Georgia says, but I believe my heart is in the right place. To have this freedom now on the farm is everything to me, and though I’d like to do other things in my spare time — like set up the stables and adopt some rescue horses — I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.

I also can’t stop thinking about Brook’s words about Bucko. It’s weird how we were just talking about him in Florida. I really had no idea he was still around. Now that his fate is sealed, I somehow feel obligated.

If Bucko is in Nashville, then I’m sure it won’t be too much of a stretch to get him here. Man, is that what I really wanna do? It’s not like me and Bucko see eye to eye. I’d have to talk to Dad, too. And he’s probably going to think I’ve gone crazy, and maybe I have.

Maybe the Georgia-Blue haze is finding its way into every area of my life; dusting off all the corners and ironing out the creases.

I glance up to the sky again before I head back to the house and take in the clouds as they move like soft, fluffy cotton balls in the sky. “Thanks, Mom,” I whisper. I don’t feel stupid saying it out loud because talking to her brings me peace.

Maybe, just maybe she is still out there somewhere and really is proud of me. That thought in itself makes my heart a little lighter and I smile up toward the sunlight, enjoying the warmth on my face before I go home.

??

The next afternoon I drive over to meet Brook at the main hay shed halfway between Brook’s place and Georgia’s. Easton just dropped off some more hay for the horses and Brook’s spending the afternoon hauling.

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