Page 83 of Georgia-Blue & Hudson

After last night, we were supposed to go our separate ways. Not canoodle in the pool all afternoon kissing and touching and acting like lovers. Which is exactly what we are right now.Lovers.

I run a hand over my hair. Holding Georgia’s shopping bags isn’t exactly what I thought I’d be doing on this vacation, but since I barely brought two changes of clothes, she decided to use up the rest of my luggage allowance. That’s a total Georgia move, and I dig it. The girl has attitude and it’s always been the thing I admire about her. She’s had to be tough with a bunch of neanderthals for brothers, and growing up in the distillery where she learned the ropes from the ground up. Still, she isn’t mine, and acting like she is, isn’t gonna help either one of us. Especially when we have to part.

I don’t have any motherfucking clue how I’m going to live without her when we get back. I had it all planned out; how to let her down gently, how to explain why we’ll never work — and trust me, it’s not because of anything she did — it’s my own insecurities coming back to haunt me. My own failed attempts at being a good partner, at being hurt in the past and not being able to deal with those feelings. I was only with my ex for two years, but I put my all in.

I wanted to settle down. I wanted a family. I acted like it wasn't a big deal, and now I understand she wasn’t the love of my life, but I also understand that Georgia could be.

I never felt that spark with Everly like I do with Georgia. She stops me in my tracks. My heart rocking in my chest whenever I see her. I hang onto every word, wondering if she’s feeling the same thing I am but I’m too chicken shit to ask. And she’s right; it is her life, not anyone else’s, but that doesn’t mean her family will agree.

The age gap is a lot. I’m almost forty, and she probably isn’t even thinking about settling down. She’s still young with thewhole world at her feet. I’d never want her to feel trapped, like she will never leave Stoney Creek.

Then again, she’s had the opportunity to do just that and she never took it. She loves Stoney Creek, she lives for it, but she also hasn’t been anywhere else.

Would I want to be the asshole to stop her from seeing the world and experiencing more?

Even if the idea of her with another man haunts my every waking moment, being selfish with her feels like second nature. It feels like I should be the one. And I don’t know how to articulate that and not have her run away, or worse, laugh in my face.

There’s no doubt the sex is good. She’s so inexperienced she has stars in her eyes from what we did and how I made her feel; notmeexactly, but my body. I can make her feel good with what we do physically, but the things I say — I don’t always have the right words. Hurting her is inevitable and I feel sick about it. She thinks she wants me, but she doesn’t know any better. Or am I reading too much into this?

Did I go right past feelings and now I’m on my own homebound train while Georgia is just enjoying my dick and not caring about the consequences?

Maybe I have it all wrong.

Fucking chicken shit.That’s all I know.

When Georgia comes out of Old Navy with four more bags, I tilt my head. “You think you might wanna leave some shit in there for the other patrons?”

She rolls her eyes. “Hey, we don’t have these kinds of shops in Stoney Creek, let a girl live out her dream.”

I snort. “Okay, does your dream include food? I’m starving.”

Her eyes light up. Like me, Georgia loves her food and we’re both inarticulate cooks. I don’t tell her that I like homerenovation shows too. I’ve learned a lot from Chip and Joanna Gaines, and I dig her homewares in Target.

“Yes! There’s a burger place just down here, or Pasta to Go, or something else to do with Tacos.”

She’s cute when she’s hungry and indecisive. “What do you feel like?” I ask.

“You mean, you’re not going to boss me into whatever you want?”

She’s impossible. I lower my voice. “I told you,Princess,the only bossin’ I do is in the bedroom.”

She looks at me sharply, a little flush to her cheeks as I revel in her reaction. Okay, we had more than a moment in the pool, and again, I let it go on too long. But it felt nice having her in my arms. She’s warm and safe. She knows me, and there’s some comfort in that.

I don’t have to be anyone else.

“And I can safely say that I’ve experienced your wrath,GP,and I like it.”

“Glad youlikeit, though I’ve no idea what a man has to do in order for you toloveit.”Why the fuck did I just say that?Flirting with her is becoming my new full-time job, and I’m fully responsible for starting it.

Her eyes shine like beautiful diamonds. She nudges me with her hips. “Maybe you’ll find out tonight.”

Yep, I’ve officially died and gone to heaven. “As long as there’s no more indecent bikinis.”

She snorts. “I did get some lacy panties.”

My throat thickens. “You just had to tell me that in the middle of the mall, didn’t you?”

She giggles. “Well, like we agreed. This weekend is all about being people we’re not. We get to let loose and just enjoy each other.” I don’t know why I sense a tinge of sadness in her voice.

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