Page 75 of High Intensity

“It’s not about that. It’s about the taking of a life. That was someone’s loved one, someone’s friend, someone’s family.”

I wince at that. He just put into words what I don’t allow myself to linger on, but that doesn’t mean it’s not on my mind.

“Look,” he continues. “I’m not the only one, there are at least four other members of our crew who’ve at one point or another struggled with this. All you’ve gotta say is you’re struggling, and any one of us will follow you to a quiet spot with a beautiful view and have a beer with ya.”

Good to know. Real good to know.

“I don’t recall asking you though,” I kid, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“No, you didn’t, but listening to you blow off your girlfriend like that was an obvious cry for help.”

Fuck. Jillian.

I took my bad mood out on her by getting pissed over something that could have probably been resolved with some clarification. Instead, I used it to distract from what’s really been eating at me since this morning.

Throwing back the dregs of my beer, I crush the empty can and toss it at Jackson, who deftly plucks it from the air. Then I get to my feet.

“I should be getting back.”

He grins at me. “Got some groveling to do?”

I adjust the hat on my head. “Something like that.”

“You better get to it then. Looks like you’ve got a good thing going.” He leans back, folds his hands behind his head, and crosses his ankles. “I’m gonna enjoy the view a bit longer.”

I take Judge’s reins, grab the horn, and swing myself back in the saddle.

“You know, that offer of a quiet spot and a beer goes both ways.”

Jackson throws me a mock-salute.

As soon as Judge and I hit level ground, I give him my heels, and we head for the ranch at an easy canter.

Jillian is sitting on the couch with her stuff all packed up and waiting beside her when I get home. But before I can get to any of the things I thought up to say to her, she beats me to the punch.

“What I meant is that I should get home for the dogs, not because I don’t like being with you, because I do. Even if the circumstances weren’t ideal. But the dogs need their space, they need proper exercise and continuous training,” she rambles. “And my business; I haven’t looked at my emails in days, so it’s about?—”

I easily silence her with a hard kiss. While she’s still recovering from the shock, I grab my opportunity to say something.

I decide to go with the simple truth.

“I’m sorry I was an ass. I took my bad day out on you. Thank you for clarifying your reason for wanting to leave, it makes it a little easier to let you go.”

Her beautiful mouth stretches into a grin.

“You’re always welcome to pack a bag of your own and come with me.”

Twenty-Two

Jillian

“Do you want more of this?”

I point at the cast iron pan with the leftover spicy scrambled egg, sausage, and potato skillet.

I may have gone a little overboard with breakfast today. In fact, I’ve been overdoing it with the cooking in general since we got here the day before yesterday.

Maybe I’m trying to compensate for what he is missing out on in Ama’s kitchen, because I want him to stay. Or at least make him want to come back. It’s silly, and I’m well aware of that, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I really enjoy having him in my space, and that is saying a lot for someone who has consciously lived alone for the past eight years.

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