Page 27 of Whispers of Obsession

I don’t think I could either.

Sighing, I check the time, but it’s too early for my mom to be home, so I doubt he left to purposefully avoid her. Besides, he knows where I live, that my mom was at work last night, so he probably knows her shift patterns too.

The chain on the door is off, but the door is locked. If I had to bet money on it, I’d say the spare key was back under the pot too. I should speak to Mom about moving it. Slater knew where it was, who’s to say who else knows about it.

The thought of someone other than Slater using that key makes me shudder.

Slater was so…protective, fiercely protective, last night. He was adamant that he wouldn’t leave me alone. What changed?

I climb the stairs and waver at the top. Should I go back to bed or shower?

Memories of last night slam into me, making my skin itch.

Shower it is.

I feel dirty. What Victor did was disgusting. I thought for sure he was going to rape me. He would have, I know that now, if the masked man hadn’t saved me.

My savior turned assailant.

If he was at the dance, and the party, and no one else mentioned a masked man…I probably saw his face at some point.

I’ve probably seen his face many times.

I was scared. Terrified. He was terrifying. But not in the same way that Victor was. Victor wanted to hurt me. Not just physically, but mentally. He wanted to rape me, break me. He would have made my first time horrifying. Probably scarred me and put me off doing it again with anybody else.

The more I think about Victor, the angrier I get. The masked man said Victor had photos of other girls from my school. Had he raped my classmates? A girl younger than me? Someone more easily led astray?

I was already so easily fooled. He manipulated me with ease. I’m so embarrassed. If he had raped me, I wouldn’t have said anything. The only reason he didn’t was because someone scarier came along. Someone more dangerous.

The masked man touched me harshly, but it wasn’t the same. Victor was using me for his own pleasure, he didn’t care how he made me feel. But the masked man…his touch was different.

Sure, he didn’t listen when I said no, but he took the time to make me feel good too.

Why? Was that just a power play? A way to make me feel like I had no control? Or did he like giving me pleasure?

When I think about the way my body responded to Victor – clamping up at thewrongnessof this touch – and then unfurling for the masked man, it makes me wonder about myself.

Did I like not being given a choice?

Not when Victor tried to take my choice away, no. But with the masked man…maybe? Then Jessy. That fucking slime ball. He was definitely going to drug someone, if not me. He’s no better than Victor in that sense.

Thank fuck, Slater came in like a white knight. A man I once considered my friend turned brother, my bully turned stranger, was overprotective and comforting.

I drop to the floor of my shower, letting the hot water nearly scald me as I force myself not to cry. Last night I was a victim. Victor’s. The masked man’s. Jessy’s.

Today, I’m no one’s toy.

I will never let another man take something from me that I’m not willing to give.

I just know that the masked man will be back. He’ll try to dominate me once more. But I’ll be ready for him.

I spendthe rest of the day in bed, ignoring everyone and everything. Mom ends up pulling double shifts, so I barely see her, and it’s easy enough to convince her in those brief passing moments that I’m simply coming down with something. It’s true enough, I feel cold all the time, and I can’t stop shivering and shaking, but the night is the worst.

I have confusing dreams which keep me tossing and turning all night long. When I wake, it’s sharp and sudden, like emerging from water after holding my breath for too long. I’m panting and sweating and I can never quite tell if it’s from fear or arousal.

Masked men and blurry faces haunt me.

By the time Monday rolls around after the longest night of my life, I’m exhausted and ready to call in sick, but my phone buzzing nonstop refuses to let me rest.

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