Page 70 of Outback Reunion

At the time, it had irked her because Dante almost made it sound like the baby was more his than hers, but she told herself she should be grateful for his forgiveness. That she was lucky to have such a good man standing by her, which was more than she deserved.

‘Hang on,’ Mark said, his expression turning serious again. ‘Do you actuallyknowDante is her father or did you just—’

‘We had a paternity test done just after she was born. Or rather Dante did. I didn’t know about it until the result came back. He ordered some online kit, and he swabbed her himself and sent it off. So that was that. We never spoke of you or our night again.’

He let out a long, loud breath, then asked, ‘What would you have done if you’d found out Luna was mine? Would you have stayed with him?’

Gabi had often pondered this exact question, or variations of it. At times when things were tense between herself and Dante, she’d sometimes fantasised about what might have happened if she hadn’t run from Mark’s apartment that night. Instead of going back to the lot and slipping back into bed with Dante, what if she’d been brave enough that night to just walk away? To see if she could make a life outside the circus?

Maybe she would have hated it... or maybe she’d have thrived.

But she would never know what kind of life she and Luna could be living now. Where they might be and who they might be with. It was futile playing the what-if game.

‘I don’t know,’ she replied eventually. ‘The circus is all I’ve ever known, Mark, and although we had a wonderful night together, it wasonlyone night. I didn’t know you at all. And you were at the start of your career. I didn’t know whether you’d have wanted a baby. I didn’t know how to contact you. I didn’t even know your full name! I had nothing; no money, and no means to earn it outside of the circus. Dante was familiar, whereas you and the outside world were scary and unknown.’

He nodded, finally moving out of the carpark. ‘I still don’t get it, though. If she isn’t mine, why didn’t you tell me about her?’

Chapter Seventeen

Gabriela twisted a strand of hair between her fingers. ‘It’s complicated.’

Mark snorted—this wasn’t a Facebook relationship status. ‘You must have had a reason.’

‘It’s hard to explain.’

‘Try me,’ he said, as they passed The Palace and headed down the main street of Bunyip Bay towards the highway.

Gabriela sighed. ‘I’m not even sure I understand it myself. It wasn’t exactly a conscious decision not to tell you I had a daughter; it’s just that sometimes compartmentalising my life is the only way to survive how I feel.’

It felt like Gabriela was speaking in riddles. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Occasionally, I like to pretend I’m a different person. That’s what I think I did that night we first met—I forgot about Dante and the circus and imagined another life. It was like I was the heroine in a novel, and you were the male lead, and... and it felt like the only way I could survive seeing you again was if I did the same thing. If I pretended I was someone else. Someone without responsibilities and complications. You and I... we’re never going to be more than what we are now. You, me and Luna are never going to be a family and so... I guess I didn’t see any point in telling you about her. I’m sorry.’

Mark felt strangely hurt by the conviction in her voice.

He thought about how she’d changed the topic when he’d asked whether she wanted to inherit the circus last night. ‘It doesn’t sound like you enjoy your life at the circus that much if you dream about being someone else.’

‘It’s not that I don’t enjoy it. I love performing and the circus is the only home I’ve ever known, so of course it’s important to me. And I love Eve and Lorenzo as much as I would if they were my real parents, but occasionally I can’t help imagining the kind of life I might have had if I didn’t grow up in the circus alongside Dante.’

‘What kind of life?’

She coughed out a laugh. ‘A normal one. You saw how small our caravan is—I guess I dream of having a house big enough for bookshelves and I fantasise about somewhere with a proper kitchen so I can try different recipes and bake. You don’t know the gift you gave me when you showed me how to make mug cakes. But it would be nice to be able to make a proper cake once in a while or cook something that needs more than two saucepans.’

He chuckled. ‘What would you cook first?’

‘Probably a roast with all the trimmings.’ She giggled as if this was silly. ‘That’s if I can. Who knows if I have any skills in that department? I’ve never had the chance to find out.’

‘That’s not a crazy dream,’ he said. ‘I love travelling, but I can’t imagine living my whole life on the road like you do.’

But Gabriela hadn’t finished yet. ‘And a garden. I’dlovea garden. I’ve got a few indoor pot plants, but I’d love more. Room to plant some pretty flowers and maybe a veggie patch. And bees. I’ve always liked the idea of keeping bees.’

Everything she talked about were things he took for granted, but also things that he could give her. He felt a flutter in his stomach at the thought. ‘My mum keeps bees.’

Her lips shot into a smile. ‘Seriously?’

He nodded. ‘I’ll show you when we get to the farm if you want.’

Anything to keep her there longer with him. He knew they’d agreed to only one night but that had been cut short. He certainly hadn’t got her out of his system yet.

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