Page 4 of Christmas Captive

Her gaze meets mine. “What’s your story? You’ve got all this advice to give, so where’s it coming from?”

I stare at her for a long moment, wondering how I got into this mess. I don’t talk about feelings. It’s why I’m alone. Women want to talk about feelings… a lot. With most women, even the most mundane thing can turn into feelings. The dishwasher didn’t get loaded properly…feelings. The trash didn’t get taken out…feelings. I power washed the driveway instead of trimming the hedge…feelings.Women need things I don’t understand. They want things I can’t give them.

I shrug and sit opposite her on the snowbank. “I’ve tried the feelings thing in the past and I struggled. Ultimately, every attempt led to disappointment, and everyone got hurt. So, I’ve learned to step back and take care of myself.”

“That sounds lonely.”

“It’s not as bad as you think. I get time to do whatever I want, whenever I want.”

She leans toward me slightly, bundling her jacket tighter. “Really? You don’t ever wish you had a family?”

“Sometimes, mostly because I wish I had someone to leave my part of the farm to. I mean, none of us brothers got married or had kids, so we’re not sure what’s going to happen to this place after us.” I brush my hand down over my beard as I talk.

“Well, you can leave all this tomeif you want. I’ve always wanted a farm.” She grins as she stares out at the horizon, as though she’s imagining all of this being hers. “What’s it like, having a legacy like this?”

“Shit, I was just thinking about that. I think it’s a blessing and a curse.”

“A curse?”

“Mostly a blessing, but I think if I could get my brothers to leave, I’d be happier.” I laugh.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “probably not. You have siblings?”

“Nope. I’ve got that spoiled only child thing going on. I did have an imaginary sister, though. She did all the chores I didn’t want to do.”

I laugh. “And how does that work?”

“Mind over matter. If Tina is doing the dishes, I don’t have to.”

“Okay. I like this mind over matter thing. So, leave Tina to deal with this ex and you free up your mind for other things.”

“I couldn’t do that to Tina. She works hard enough as it is.” She chuckles and stands from the snowbank. “You never had an imaginary friend?”

“No, but I did have an imaginary dog once, though. I was trying to guilt my parents into getting me a real dog.”

“Did it work?”

“Perfectly. Duke and I spent eighteen years together. He’s under the pines up on the hill now. Another reason I can’t leave this place. There’re far too many memories.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a place like that. We moved around a lot when I was a kid.”

“That had to be hard on an only child.”

“Yeah,” she laughs. “I blame most things on it. My lack of social skills, my unwillingness to share, my virginity.”

My eyes widen and my stomach clenches.Did I hear that right?

“Oh, God. See… lack of social skills. Sorry. I’m,” she blows out a breath, “I… yeah.”

She turns and walks away, crunching through the snow toward the barn.

I stand and follow after her, though I have no idea what I’ll say when I catch up. I’m well versed in saying stupid shit, but I’m lost when it comes to reassurance, especially about something sexual. “Stop. Hold on.”

“No, I should go. It’s late and I have to get back and feed the cat. She’ll eat the couch if she gets hungry enough.”

I jog forward and grab her arm. “Hold on.”

---