Nothing more?That was what I told Matt. We had our fling and that was that. Except… I didn’t really stick to that premise when I leaned in to kiss him in the conference room.
“Nothing makes sense anymore.”
“Okay, so you didn’t use protection?”
“We did. We used up all three condoms and then?—”
“Three?” she exclaimed.
I winced. I wasn’t the sort of woman to kiss and tell. Or to spill about any of these details. “One of them must not have done its job.”
“You could say that again.”
“I just blurted it out to him. Ever since I took the test over the weekend…” I started to say.
Ever since we had another moment we shouldn’t have had…
“I’ve been thinking I could avoid him and bottle it all in. This Gammon meeting is so important. I didn’t want to drop this bombshell before it. But he cornered me, concerned about why I was acting so off.”
I blinked, pausing for a moment.And he said he cared. About me.In the middle of all the shock, I hadn’t given myself time to let that sink in. That Matt cared about me.
You sure have a funny way of showing it, Matt, I thought wryly. If he cared so much, he wouldn’t have freaking walked away.
“And you told him?”
I nodded. “I blurted it out. He would’ve kept at me, and I just snapped and told him.”
She scrunched up her face. “And what did he say? What did he do?”
I drew in a deep breath. “He walked away.”
She licked her lips, still cringing. “Okay. Not the best move. I’m sure he was surprised and shocked…”
Then she leaned over, patting my knees before taking one of my hands between hers. “And if he doesn’t come to terms with it like a mature adult, then screw it. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
I sniffled, overwhelmed by how sweet this woman was. Lunging closer, I hugged her and closed my eyes, savoring the strength of her embrace.
She was more of a sister than Becca had ever been. Even if I didn’t have contact with my family back home in Hamming, and even if my baby daddy wanted to walk away from me, I had found a new family here in Hailey. In this tumultuous time of learning I’d grow my own little family by becoming a mother soon, I would never forget how blessed and grateful I was for Hailey to be in my life.
20
MATT
Several people called out to me as I walked through the hallway. Without a destination in mind, at first, I simply wanted to be on the move and walking out of the building. Fresh air would’ve been nice, but also unlikely with the smog in the air. Privacy was more of what I sought, and I knew I could find it if I stepped outside.
Away from everyone in the building.
I couldn’t process this bombshell without actually letting the facts sink into my head properly. It was a jumbled mess up there, with too many things pinging around and keeping me confused and slow to think.
After ignoring everyone who called out to me, even Eli, who wanted to know where Loren had disappeared to, I snuck outside.
But I didn’t stop there. I kept walking, going and going even though there was no one place in mind to go. I just needed to move. To be active and mobile so that my mind might catch up and let all the pieces of Loren’s admission fit in somehow.
Walking down the sidewalks, I relied on an innate street-smarts sense of self-preservation to keep me alive. I didn’t have to consciously think about stopping for intersections. By rote, Iblended in with the mass of pedestrians and stayed with others as I crossed streets and dodged cart vendors and the begging homeless.
The further I walked, the calmer I felt. It would take more than a simple stroll to clear my mind and be able to rationalize my way forward from the fact that Loren was pregnant.
Each time I put my foot down, a little clarity eased into me. Simply regurgitating the facts helped to make them sink in.