Page 23 of Never Forget You

“Right, because that’s what we do, isn’t it? When we do something wrong, even if it was an accident, the best thing to dois say sorry for it because that is what makes the other person feel better.”

“I know, Mommy,” Ella replies, dead seriously. “That’s what I always do when I need to say sorry.”

She’s turning this into a life lesson, which is impressive. I always think it’s good when parents show their mistakes because it allows children to accept their own and be more open and honest about it. I’ve always found it much better anyway, but I suppose I’m not a parent, so maybe it isn’t right for me to make that judgment.

“You don’t have to do that anyway.” I smile back reassuringly. “I accept your apology. It’s fine.”

“Right, okay.” I think that she senses me mentally stepping back from her because I have to. “Well, we are going to get going, then. I suppose we’ll see you in the morning for another fun day at school.”

As she walks away with Ella, I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake there. Maybe it wasn’t an apology dinner but actually a date and I'd just turned her down. That makes me all kinds of nervous inside. As terrified as I am to lose my head and heart all over her again, I don’t like the idea of not being able to date her either. It’s too much.

Maybe that’s for the best,I try to convince myself.Maybe this line is what I should be setting for the best…

It might not feel right, but that’s just because it goes against everything that I’ve been thinking for a decade. I mightberight, though. I guess time will tell. We will just have to wait and see, won’t we? More anticipation…

Although… I’ve spent all weekend telling myself that we need to talk about things, haven’t I? I did make the decision that we need to have an adult conversation, so I could go against everything that I’ve just decided and see her so we can talk… oh, goddamn it, I am getting on my own nerves going back and forth. I would be doing myself and Georgia a favor if I could just make a decision one way or the other.Thatis what I need to do.

With a deep sigh, I head back into the classroom and gather up my things to go back home. My head is spinning like crazy, my thoughts are everywhere, but one thing is for sure. Once I make a decision one way or another, I’m going to finally know which way my life is going and then… then, I hope everything will be better.

It needs to be better. It can’t be any worse, can it? My God, right now, it’s crazy. I thought that having Georgia back in my life would instantly fix all of my issues, but I guess not. I suppose it’s more complex than that.

Cooking dinner is a mindless task. Well, it shouldn’t be, really, but I’m working on autopilot because my head is still darting from choice to choice, deciding which way is best. Every time I think I know what I want to do, I change it up again and make a different choice. But I know I won’t make any kind of move until I know for sure.

Eating doesn’t help me, either. I barely taste the food. Life is kinda empty and meaningless at the moment. I’m on the edge, barely able to function, and I guess it’ll stay this way while I’m in limbo.

“I want her,” I suddenly tell myself loudly. “I love her. Why is this even a decision? What is going on?”

I leap up, almost knocking my plate on the floor as I go. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Why has it taken me such a long time to come to the most obvious conclusion ever? Iknowthat I love her, I know that she’s the one and worth whatever fight we have to go through to be together, and I know that I need to tell her she’s the one for me.

I’m shaking, trembling as I grab my car keys, but there is a nice anticipation coursing through me as I get into the car and drive. Thankfully, due to the late hour, I’m pretty sure that Ella will be in bed so we can talk alone. Perhaps I might be able to make her see that wecanmake this work in secret if that’s what she wants…

Oh, I don’t care. Whatever I have to do, whatever she wants, I will be there for her.

By the time I pull up outside Georgia’s home, I’m an excitable, nervous wreck. I feel good, glad to finally have worked out what I want, but anxious as all hell as well. There is a chance that she might turn me away again…

“Stop it,” I hiss in an attempt to shut down my negative thoughts. “Just go in there. Just see.”

I suck in a couple of deep breaths as I walk, and I knock lightly on the door. Within seconds, the door swings open and Georgia’s eyes widen in surprise. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of time before finally speaking.

“H–Harry, I thought that you didn’t want to come for dinner. I’m sorry, we have already eaten.”

“No, I haven’t come here for dinner.” I can’t stop myself from smiling at her. She’s so sweet to think that I might just turn up here for food. She would comply as well if I insisted, I’m sure. “I came here to talk. Is that okay?”

“You want to come inside?” She steps backward and invites me in. “Ella is asleep, so it’s okay.”

I follow her into the house, my heart pounding in my mouth the entire time, and I take a seat in her living room. It’s strange to be here again after what happened last time. We were all over each other, we couldn’t get one another’s clothes off fast enough, and now it’s awkward. But we can’t cave to any sexual tension yet. We have to talk.

“I wanted to come here and talk to you,” I say in what sounds a bit stiff and uncomfortable. “Because I think that weneedto chat, don’t we? Things have been a little wild and out of control when really, we should talk…”

“I agree,” she half whispers back. “I know that we sort of talked before, but that was about the past, wasn’t it? It wasn’t enough. We need to also talk about our lives now and what could happen because… well, as much as we would love to just carry on as we have been, I have a daughter now. I can’t just be wild. I need to be careful. And what with the negative relationship I shared with her father, well, I don’t want to make it worse for her.”

I nod understandingly. “Of course, and I totally get that, I do. But…” I suck in a deep and slightly shaky breath, preparing myself to say something crazy. “But I love you, Georgia. I still love you. I don’t think that I ever stopped. I’ve loved you for a decade, even without seeing you for most of that time. The moment you stepped into my life, everything shifted and changed for the better. On that day, before I came to speak toyou, I even told Matthew that you are the woman I will marry, and I still feel that way now. I still want to be with you.” She doesn’t say anything for a beat too long, so I need to continue. It’s the only way. “If you don’t want that, I totally understand and I will back off, but I have a feeling that you want me too.” Her eyes are shining with delight. “So, whatever it takes, I will do that for you. If you want to take it slow because you’re still recovering from your ex-husband, that’s okay. If you want to keep things secret for a while because of Ella and other people, I don’t mind. Whatever you need. I love you, Georgia Fredericks. I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. I want to be yours. I love you.”

She doesn’t say anything, but Georgia doesn’t need to. I can see the emotions running across her face. It’s a mix at the moment while she tries to digest what I’m saying to her, but any minute now, she will make a choice of her own, and all I can do is wait while she goes through it all in her mind, thinkingeverythingthrough. I’ve taken my time, and I need to give her the chance as well. However long it takes…

19

GEORGIA

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