Page 13 of Never Forget You

“You don’t need to say anything about anything. I can see it on your face. I don’t like seeing it on your face. Harry, you need a reality check. You need to remember all those months you spent in serious depression because of her. Don’t forget about all the women that you could have dated and didn’t because ofher. Don’t forget that you texted her a lot and she didn’t reply. Don’t forget that she promised you the world and abandoned you. Remember you carried that damn letter around with you like it was a shrine for far too long. Please, remember that…”

Hmm, I really don’t want to tell him that I still have the letter. I think I told him I tossed it out years ago just to get him off myback, and now I don’t want him to view me as sad and pathetic as I really am.

“Look, Matthew,” I say, wanting to reassure him as much as I can. “She is here now with a child and maybe a husband as well. I amnotabout to get mixed up in that. Plus, Ella is in my class and I can’t date a parent of a student. So, really, you have nothing to worry about, okay? I was just telling you what’s going on.”

He looks visibly relieved as he starts to think that maybe Georgia and I can’t be together, but all I’ve done is freak myself out. I don’t knowwhather situation is. She really could be married, and I’m going to have to face him and act all nice and polite. Parent-teacher nights are going to be horrible. I will have to face them together.

Uh-oh, I’m starting to experience that all too familiar sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had it a lot when I was losing Georgia the last time around, and now it’s back again. I think I might be about to struggle…

“You… you had me worried before…” Matthew says drunkenly as he slings his arm around me as last orders are called. I can’t remember the last time I was out this late. God, I really have become a bore. “About you know who.”

“She who shall not be named?” I toss my head back and laugh. To be honest, the more I’ve drunk, the less of an issue it has felt. “I told you that you don’t need to be worried. It’s just weird, isn’t it? That’s all.”

“It’s sure strange.” He nods eagerly. “I don’t get why she’s here, though. That’s what I don’t understand. It makes no sense. Why here, of all places? Like, she could have gone anywhere else in the world. So, what brought her back here? You know? Do you think that’s weird? It’s like… what are you after, you crazy bitch?”

He might be drunkenly rambling, but his words are right. I don’t know what brought Georgia here, but I want to find out. I need to find out, actually. If I thought that she would reply to my messages, I would contact her now just to try and get some answers, but I suppose I’ll have to wait… although maybe it isn’t the best to try and talk to her after all these years while I’m pissed, anyway. I should wait for a sober moment and hope that I have the courage.

“Come on, let’s get home.” I wrap my arm around him too and exit the bar. As soon as the cold air hits me, I don’t start to feel more sober, just giddier in a way that I haven’t in a very long time. It’s a bit like I’ve been carrying a weight on my shoulders for the last ten years and now it’s been lifted. Even if this doesn’t end well, that weight being gone is awesome. Life feels really awesome right now, and I think it isn’t just the booze.

“We need to, you know, do this more often,” Matthew declares as we walk. “I like hanging out with you, Harry. I’ve missed it a lot. We used to do it a lot, didn’t we? And we don’t so much anymore. You’re always so… I don’t know, busy, maybe? Or you just don’t like hanging out with me anymore.”

“Oh, it’s nothing to do with you,” I reassure him. “It’s just been me. In a bad mood for, like, ever.”

“Well, I hope you don’t go back to a bad mood again. I like happy Harry so much better.”

“I intend to stick around forever, so you don’t need to worry about it.” I smile widely, a genuine smile this time around. I don’t know when I last gave a real smile. It feels nice. “I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere. Nothing will take the happiness away. I promise you.” I can keep this promise as well, I’m sure of it. “I’m back.”

I take Matthew home before I head to my apartment, which is actually on the other side of town from my parents’ home, which is where Georgia will look for me if she wants to find me… not that she will, I’m sure. Plus, she’s probably wise enough to know that I’m not living with my parents anymore. And anyway, if she has a husband, then she isn’t going to be looking for her ex-boyfriend, is she? No, even if she plays it down as something small…

But why is she here?That’s what I keep thinking. And hearing Matthew say it has me all twisted up in knots about it even more. Why here, of all places? If it isn’t for me, then what? It makes no sense. And if it’s for me, then…

Oh, my God, I don’t know how I will handle it. If fate really has gotten in the middle of everything and brought us back together again, then how will I feel about that? I don’t know right now. Happy, for sure, but I will have to be careful. I’ll need to protect myself and my heart to make sure that she can’t hurt me again…

Oh, screw it, I will be back in her arms in a minute. I know I will. In an instant. I can act like I’ll be all strong and cautious, but I know that wouldn’t be the case. Now that I’ve been drinking, I can admit to myself that I would be so happy if she wanted me again. I wouldn’t be able to resist her. Drunk me doesn’t give a shit and just wants to have the best life, even it means taking a risk and putting my heart on the line again.

Now, the challenge will be reeling my expectations back in when I’m sober in the morning and spending all weekend gearing myself up to see what’s going to happen on Monday morning. Even if it isn’t a monumental event, I’m going to prepare for it just in case. There’s just no telling what will happen. It could well turn out to be the best or worst day of my life. Right now, it’s hard to determine which way it will go.

But as I crash into my bed, the dreams that come for me are what I want to happen, and I transport right back to that seventeen-year-old boy in love all over again, hopeful and joyful, certain that his future will be incredible. Only this time, there aren’t any strict fathers in our way and everything is wonderful. We finally get that happy ever after that we have always deserved. It’s the fantasy that I’ve been trying to block out of my mind for years—for a decade, actually—but now, there isn’t any reason to keep them inside. Now, they can run free as much as they want and my brain is taking full advantage of that and allowing me to dream it all.

11

GEORGIA

“Okay, Ella,” I say nervously as we stand outside the school building. “Are you ready? You have everything?”

I’m supposed to be being strong for her, holding her together for the day, but I can’t seem to keep it together myself. I’m a damn mess and I can’t hold it back. It’s a nightmare. Luckily, my daughter doesn’t seem to have that worry at all. She’s been gearing herself up all weekend long for this and now, she’s purely excited.

“I’m good, Mommy. I can’t wait to meet Josie.” She has such high hopes for Josie because of what Harry said to her, and I really hope they aren’t for nothing. God, no one can possibly know how much I need this to go well. I don’t want to leave here. I don’t think I have the strength to start all over again. “I love you. Mr. Jones is here.”

I stiffen up, waiting for him to come over to me, trying to prepare myself for what I might say to him should the opportunity arise, but I don’t get that chance. Ella races away from me and over tohim eagerly, willing to bypass me completely. I don’t know if I’m happy or disappointed about this. I feel kinda weird about it all.

Harry smiles at me over her head, not looking like he hates my guts, which I have to admit is something of a surprise. I’ve spent most of the weekend convincing myself that because he didn’t say he was happy to see me too, it’s because he wishes I weren’t here, either because I’m an interference or because he has the wrong impression of what happened all those years ago. I don’t know if he ever messaged me because I had my phone taken away.

But he’s smiling now, and I smile back, waving to Ella as she is taken over to play with a group of girls, one of whom I can only assume is Josie, and I pray to anyone who might be listening that she is treated better at her new school than I was when I was forced to change… even if that was a different situation because I was a teenager.

She looks okay,my brain reassures me as I watch her play for a moment.She looks like she’s going to be fine.

Ella is friendly and does make friends easily, so I should be much calmer about this even if it is pretty scary. Still, I stay right up until the moment the bell sounds and the children are taken into the classroom where her new life will begin. And mine as well. I just need to work out where and how I want my life to start. But not yet. This comes first!

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