Page 11 of Never Forget You

“You think she will like me?” She gives me a sweet and pleading look.

“Definitely, and I’m sure you will like her a lot as well. You’re going to be okay here, Ella.”

Georgia has an in-depth talk with Terry as I take Ella over to her seat. She isn’t looking at me at all, which means I can study her from afar. She is still as stunning as she was at seventeen years old, probably even more so. She has really grown into those beautiful looks that she always had. I am just as attracted to her as I always was.

What the hell is this? We used to talk about fate and destiny, didn’t we? We always acted like it brought us together for a reason, and now… well, now it seems to have brought us together just to torment me. Obviously, I can’t have her now, and I’m definitely not over her. I knew that before she popped back up into my life, so what is this?

Hell, that’s what this is. Absolute hell. Honestly, it’s horrible. I can’t stand it. I want to scream because I’m so frustrated. But of course, I’m in my place of work, all flustered and unsure what to do, so I’m going to have to do nothing. Just know that I really am in the shit now because even if I wanted Georgia to come back into my life, which I don’t think I did because of how cruel our ending was, a ghosting and nothing more… But even if I did want her to come back into my existence, it was never going to be like this. Ever.

9

GEORGIA

Harry….Harry Jones. My Harry. Only he isn’t my Harry, is he? Because I made the stupid decision to let him go, didn’t I? It’s all come screaming back to me now. I let him go because of those girls talking about me, girls whose names I can’t even remember now, which is just insane, isn’t it? I don’t even care enough to remember them.

I thought that they were right at the time, about my being deluded, and maybe they were right. Just because I’m here looking at Harry again, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It isn’t fate or whatever… it’s nothing. Even if my heart is hammering hard against my rib cage and I feel all weird inside, a little like I did ten years ago when we first met. But I’m not a teenage girl anymore, and this isn’t some random holiday romance.

Oh, God.As I watch him talk kindly to Ella, I wonder if he will ever want me to explain myself. How will I get it all out? The boarding school in Switzerland, the loss of my cell phone, the way that my father controlled me so much that he actually did decide which college I went to and that he basically forced me tomarry Ben even if I really didn’t want to, just because he had the Goldman name and Dad wanted to be attached to that. It was more of a goddamn business transaction than a marriage, which is of course why it has ended unhappily. Very unhappily.

I slide my eyes closed and think back to the painful divorce, to the mud slung from him and the nasty words spoken. Thank goodness he was more interested in keeping his money than in having any access to Ella, thank God. I mean, I couldn’t fight him alone, not without my father’s money, and my dad didn’t agree with the divorce. It would’ve been really challenging to keep Ella with me otherwise, and she’s so much better with me.

Ben is a rich man, a cruel rich man, kinda like my father in that respect. No consideration for anyone but himself. He barely knows me, never mind Ella, and it would have been absolute torture to leave her with him. I don’t think I could have done it, to be honest. I would still be miserable in the city near him.

To be fair, I don’t know if I’m going to be much happier here, either. It’s just the only other place that I knew, where I had happy memories. I was looking for comfort, for familiarity, not for him. But Harry, my make-believe boyfriend, is here. He might be wondering why I never came back for him, why I didn’t reply to his messages, why I am now here with a child, which shows that I moved on without him. I didn’t, of course. I’ve always clung to the feeling that he gave me. That’s probably way too embarrassing to admit aloud, isn’t it?

God, it doesn’t help that he’s just as good-looking as he always was, if not better. He’s so rugged and handsome, so open and honest, and caring too. I can see it on his face. Muscular as well, with a gorgeous smile. He’s grown so well into his looks, and it’s hard to drag my eyes away from him. I’ve always found him handsome, but now… wow.

Finally, Ella comes skipping over to me with an actual smile on her face. I don’t know what Harry has said to her, but he’s clearly cheered her up. I do remember him saying that he wanted to help people in life, but I never thought that this would be his way of doing that. I never expected him to become a teacher, but he’s clearly good at it.

“We can go now, Mommy,” she declares with a smile. “I am going to sit next to Josie on Monday. She likes horses, and she also has a pink ballet dress like me. She drew it on her picture by her chair.”

“Oh, well that sounds amazing, honey.” I bend down and kiss her on the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re excited. It will be awesome to drop you off here in the morning because you’ll have lots of nice friends.”

I’m so relieved to know that she’s looking forward to this. I’ve been terrified of bringing her away from what she knows and loves, but thiswillbe better. When we get settled here, everything is going to be so much better. Without her father around, making the pair of us miserable. Withoutmyfather making the pair of us unhappy as well. This is freeing. This is a new life that’s just there for the pair of us. I hope it goes well. I need it to go well. I need this.

“Well, unless there is anything else?” the dean of the school says to me with a smile. I can see that he’s trying to get home now, which I guess makes sense since it’s the end of the day on Friday. “Then we will see you on Monday.”

“Yes.” I nod at him a couple of times. “Yes, thank you. I think you have answered everything for me.”

I stare at Harry, needing to say something,anythingto make this okay again. I don’t know how I can start some kind of conversation with him when there is so much that needs to be said, not in front of the dean and Ella too.

“It’s… it’s good to see you again,” I say quietly instead. “It’s been a long time, but it’s nice.”

Harry doesn’t say anything back. I don’t know if he is excited to see me at all. Probably not, and I suppose I can’t blame him, but at least I’ve said what I need to now. I’ve reached out and now we can go. I wrap my arm around Ella and take her out of the classroom. As I walk, I honestly feel like my feet aren’t touching the ground. This is definitely the strangest place that I’ve ever found myself in, and I don’t know what will happen next. I suppose the one good thing to come from this is that I am in charge of my own destiny for the very first time.

“Are you okay, Mommy?” Ella asks me as soon as we’re off the school grounds. “Did you not like the school?”

“Oh, of course I did. Why would you think that?” I stare down at her in shock. “It was a lovely school, wasn’t it? A lot smaller than the one you’re used to, but I think that might be fun. There were alotof people at your last school.”

“And not all nice.” She pouts out her bottom lip, reminding me of all the trouble I had with getting anyone at that school to listen to me when she was having some problems. Her father had no idea, of course. He didn’t get involved in anything like that because he was too busy doing… well, whatever the hell he was doing.

Business, most of the time, but I’m pretty sure affairs featured too. I always found little signs that he was cheating on me, but hetalked his way around everything. He never took responsibility for anything. Even toward the end…

Not that I want to think about my terrible marriage to Ben anymore or the way that the divorce tore my family apart. I didn’t get much money, but I didn’t want much. Just enough to give me and Ella a home to get us started. I’m hoping that I can actually have a career of my own now as well. I worked so hard at my science school and college that followed. I did so well with all of it but haven’t been given the chance to explore that. It’s always been stifled. By Ben, but also, ironically, by my father who made me do all of that studying. He didn’t allow me to progress.

I’m ashamed to say that I allowed myself to be controlled as well. I let it all happen. I didn’t fight hard enough. Well, until now. Now, I’m fighting for me and Ella to have the future that we deserve.

“I think this place will be perfect for us, Ella. Honestly, we will have the best time, me and you.”

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