Page 9 of Insatiable

The door looms ahead of me, and with every step, I feel the weight of our unraveling. “I won’t stay here and pretend I can live this eternity if it means losing the people I love.” I clutch my shoes tighter, the tremble in my voice betraying the fear gripping me. “I have to find her.” I don’t wait for his response. My hand is already on the doorknob. “If you won’t go to the lower level, that’s your choice. But if you think for one second I’m going to stop looking for my sister, you don’t know me at all.” I leave his room, feeling a crushing weight of sadness. Dade has always been fearless, but now he’s letting fear hold him back. As I head to my room and pass Felix on the stairs, it hits me—Dade has the marble key. Without it, I won’t be able to access the lower level anyway.

5

TOXIC TOGETHER

ROWENA

It doesn’t matter how much I try to avoid Felix, he’s always there and, worst still, Anthura is never far behind. I’d like to say I’m surprised about the pair of them hooking up again. But I’m world weary about anything when it comes to both of them. They deserve each other. I try to ignore the pang I feel when I think about them, but it doesn’t take long for the pang of... regret… to turn back into the blazing anger I’ve felt at Felix since pretty much the first second I met him.

When there’s a knock on my door much later, I already know it’s him. Juliette always knocks quickly as though she’s in a rush and Quinn has a habit of calling out as though I’m screening guests, which, to be honest, most of the time I am. Felix’s knock is so typically Felix–curt and to the point. Two knocks, that’s it.

I’m half inclined to ignore it, but he’s been trying to talk to me all day, and I know he’ll continue to bug me for the rest of my death if I don’t let him in. Besides, I need something to take my mind away from the gnawing hunger and nausea.

I pull on a dressing gown over my nightdress and open the door, leaning on the door frame. “Barclay.”

I have one hand on the door, ready to duck back in and slam it in his face.

“Can I come in?”

“Nope.”

His face scrunches up for a second. “You infuriating bi...” He stops talking before saying whatever slur was about to come out of his mouth, which is an improvement.

It’s almost fascinating watching Felix lose his composure and then scramble to regain it. He should be a politician, with all his lies and slander.

"I don't think you want what I have to say to be overheard," he says. As if on cue, the gorgeous blonde walks past, giving us a curious look before heading down the stairs. I hate when Felix has a valid point.

With a sigh, I open the door to let him pass, holding my breath as his shoulder brushes against mine, sending a shiver through my treacherous body.

"Five minutes," I warn him, my voice edged with steel. I need to remain composed. "Five minutes, then you'll leave this room and never have another conversation with me unless it's absolutely necessary for the games. Do you understand?"

“Is the baby mine?” he asks, his tone unreadable.

I knew the question was coming. I’ve known all day that’s what he wanted to know, but it still hits me like a sucker punch to the chest. I don’t sleep around. His question makes me feel dirty and cheap.

I glare at him. “You took my virginity and you know that.”

“Yeah…” he falters.

“But you thought that after losing my virginity to you a whole week ago, I suddenly decided to sleep with every man in Lust. Is that it?”

He sucks in a breath and I wonder, not for the first time if he is going to kiss me or punch me. With Felix, it could be either. I ready myself for both but he just stands there.

"The baby is mine, Barclay,” I reply firmly. “That’s all you need to know."

His eyes drop to my stomach, prompting me to tighten my dressing gown belt further around it. "So you’re really pregnant, then? How is that even possible?"

"You know it's not possible,” I snap. I know it's not possible. But it's happened and it's real. I’ve had morning sickness all day." I leave out the part about my tender breasts; the last thing I want is Felix thinking about my body.

"We... we slept together."

As if I could forget. It’s been at the very forefront of my mind since the second it happened. "Yes, and I'd rather masturbate with a cheese grater than repeat the action."

I turn away so he can’t see my eyes. I guess he’s not the only liar in the room. He’s just better at concealing it than I am.

“If the baby is mine, I want to help.”

It’s rare that Felix catches me off guard, but this is one of those moments. He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating off him, his presence overwhelming, suffocating. The space between us is nonexistent, and it takes everything in me not to reach out, not to close that gap. Hating him is hard enough. Wanting him? That’s pure agony.

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