"What are you doing?" Felix’s voice cuts through my thoughts, jarring me back into the moment.
I spin around, half expecting him to say something biting, something to drag this out into another fight. But instead, my eyes fall on the table, where the untouched plate and glass sit in front of my seat.
"You’re letting me eat?" I ask, disbelief dripping from my words. I was expecting him to push back, to make this harder.
"I’m letting the baby eat," he says, his voice so measured, it almost feels rehearsed.
A bitter laugh bubbles up inside me, but I swallow it down. Of course, it's about the baby. It should make me feel something—relief, maybe—but it feels hollow, like everything else when it comes to Felix. "Fine," I mutter, sliding back into my seat. "Wouldn’t want to let the baby starve."
Felix watches me closely, like he's searching for something in my expression, but I don’t give him anything. I pick up my fork and take a bite of the Beef Wellington, and damn it, it’s good. Too good. It makes the ache in my stomach worse, not because I’m hungry, but because I don’t want to enjoy it. Not here. Not with him sitting across from me, watching me.
"You’ve been eating up at Anthura’s penthouse," I say, the suspicion twisting in my gut. It would explain a lot. Why he’s not starving, why he’s so calm about giving up his meal. He doesn’t need this.
He looks at me, his expression unreadable. "That would be cheating."
"It would," I agree, eyeing him carefully. "Funny how you haven’t actually answered me, though."
His silence stretches out, and I hate how much it bothers me. It shouldn’t matter if he’s been with her. It shouldn’t matter if he’s been eating better than me. But it does. I hate that it does.
"Does it matter?"
I want to say no, that I don’t care what he does or who he’s with. I want to pretend like he doesn’t still have the power to hurt me, but the lie feels thick on my tongue. "No," I say, taking another bite, my eyes on the plate instead of him. The food is incredible, the best thing I’ve eaten in what feels like years, but even that’s tainted by the tension hanging in the air.
"Rowena, I—" he starts, and I know what’s coming. The apologies, the excuses, the same old cycle.
"Save it, Felix," I cut him off, my voice sharp enough to slice through the moment. "Just let me eat in peace."
He nods, but there’s something in his eyes, something I can’t place. Regret? Guilt? It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.
The silence between us is thick, suffocating, filled with everything we’re not saying. I focus on the meal, trying to lose myself in the flavors, but no matter how perfect the food is, it can’t erase the weight of everything else. I hate that I feel guilt with each mouthful. He would have told me the truth if he wasn’t cheating, so he can’t be as hungry as everyone else, but with each rumble of his belly as he watches me eat, I begin to wonder if I’m wrong about the whole thing. Felix is a cheat for sure, but if he is telling the truth this time, this must be excruciating. I try not to look at him, but every time my eyes flicker up, I see a hint of desire in his eyes. Once upon a time, that desire was for me. Now he’s practically drooling over the food, and I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or relieved. The Earthery can read my mind and knows how to twist my heart.
“Please stop groaning,” Felix complains, his voice tense. “It’s driving me to distraction.”
Damn. I wasn’t aware that I was. “You didn’t complain about me groaning when you were eating me out, Felix.”
His eyes darken with desire, fixated on me instead of the meal. I know I’ve put my foot in it. “Forget I said that,” I stammer, flustered. “Sorry about the groaning. I’ll try to stop.”
I cut myself a second slice of the beef wellington, eating it as quickly as I can. The quicker I finish this food, the quicker I can escape to my room and hide my mortification.
By the third and final slice, I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable. My belly has grown faster than a normal pregnancy, and there’s already a hint of a bump that I’ve been hiding with my flowy dresses. But nothing can hide the way my stomach is expanding with the sheer amount of food I’mconsuming. No doubt morning sickness will have me throwing up this whole meal in a couple of hours, anyway.
The sharp pain in my stomach intensifies, causing me to double over and clutch at my abdomen. Felix's eyes track my hand, concern etched across his face.
"Are you okay? Is it the baby?" he asks, his voice laced with genuine worry.
"Is that concern I see?" I retort, my tone dripping with bitterness.
"Yes. Fuck, Rowena. Of course I'm concerned. Why do you think I let you have the meal?" His words are filled with frustration and anger.
"I thought we had agreed that you were eating Anthura... 's food," I snap back, refusing to give him an inch. My pulse is racing, but I’m not about to let him win this one.
"Damn it, Rowena. You are one infuriating bitch," he growls, his jaw clenched tight.
I raise an eyebrow. "Didn't you just apologize for calling me a bitch the last time we were here?"
"Yes, but this time I mean it. I'm trying to help you," he bites out, his words sharp enough to cut.
I cross my arms, narrowing my eyes. "So last time you said it just for fun?"