Page 57 of Blind Sin

“I don’t know. I don’t even know how I feel about it. It’s kinda new. I wasn’t expecting it, but Lauren, she’s amazing. She’s perfect and funny and so strong.”

“Does she love you too?”

Lucy lets out a sigh. “I don’t know. I’ve been too scared to say anything. I don’t even know if she’s into girls. I’ve never seen her with a man, but the way the Hollywood marketing machine works, that doesn’t mean anything.”

I clasp my hand around hers. “You need to tell her, Lucy. You can’t go through life always wondering.”

She scoffs. “I’m never going to see her again. The movie is finished. I’m supposed to be travelling the world with her and the rest of the cast promoting it, but I’m stuck here. And tomorrow who knows where we’ll be. I want you to pack up what you need. If the doc says your eyes are fine, we’re going straight from there. I’m going to take the money tonight.”

“I’m not ready to go,” I say, suddenly feeling panicked.

“Neither am I.” She stands from the bed. “This is our only chance, Lauren. I’m sorry.”

When she leaves the room, I lock the door and rip the gauze off both eyes. If I have to leave tomorrow I’m not going to go without seeing the three men who’ve taught me so many things about myself. The pain is like nothing else, but as the tears stream down my face, the salt cleanses my eyes and a picture begins to form. I concentrate on the window, willing it into form into something other than a blob. It’s no longer as light as it was earlier which I’m putting down to the sun fading in the sky. I stand, head to the window and gaze out. Movement makes me jump but as I try to make sense of it, it becomes clear it’s the ocean lapping at the beach. I’m seeing waves. Everything is a mix of blurry shapes and I can’t really see much color yet, but it’s beautiful. My instinct is to rush out and tell Lucy, but I’m scared she’ll make me leave this evening. In fact there’s only one person I want to share this moment. The one I can’t guarantee will come with me to the doctors tomorrow.

Josh.

So when I’m sure she’s gone to bed, I creep through the silent house. It’s dark, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m used to the darkness. I rush around the path to the servant’s quarters.

Dark shapes loom, scaring me as I try to match them up with things that I know. Trees, bushes, flagstones. I’m so immersed in this new world, that I misjudge my steps and fall right into the deep end of the pool. Directly in front of me is a bright light. I thrash around, trying to remember what Nolan taught me, but I can’t seem to make sense of the new sensation of sight and figure out where the light is coming from. I try to swim towards it, but then something grabs me and begins pulling me backwards.

39

NIX

Igrab her wrists, fucking livid with myself, and with her, and with the whole fucking universe. “What the fuck are you playing at? You could have been killed.” Her eyes are red with the tears streaming down her face and I know I’m being harsh, but at this precise moment, I don’t give a fuck. I need to be harsh. What she’s just attempted is insane, and I don’t even know why she’s done it. “Is that what you wanted?

She snorts, a moment of brightness in the darkness of her face. “No. I wanted to see you and I...”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Lauren? You were swimming towards the bottom of the pool.”

Her whole body is trembling and I soften. “You saw me this morning,” I remind her. “Anything you wanted to say to me, you could have said then.”

She shakes her head slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. “No, Josh. I wanted toseeyou.”

I don’t understand what she’s trying to say to me or what could be so important that she’d nearly drown herself in the attempt.

She leans in slowly and kisses my lips. I’ve waited and ached to taste her lips again. It’s been all I’ve thought about since I fucked her on Ed’s boat back in New York, but as she pulls back, she’s still looking at me.

I tilt my head slightly to the side. Lucinda's unwavering gaze locks with mine, her eyes captivating and filled with an intensity that pierces through my very being. At that moment, it's as if time stands still.

As our eyes meet, I notice the minute details, the precision with which she focuses on me. There is no deviation, no wavering gaze. She's looking directly at me.

“You can see?” The words slip out of my mouth, almost breathless, as the realization dawns upon me.

With a deliberate slowness, Lucinda licks her lips, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Her nod is barely perceptible, accompanied by a whisper-like voice. “I can see you, Josh. I wanted you to be the first person I saw.”

Fuck. My girl can see me. Before Lauren, I never felt seen. Bitches would come and go and they always left me wondering if it was me or my name they were fucking. And though they were all pretty on the eye, none of them held my gaze like Lauren is doing now. I’m fucking drowning in it.

“But how? How is this possible?”

She blinks. “I had an operation today. I was supposed to keep my eyes covered until tomorrow and not be around any bright lights, but I couldn’t wait. I’ve waited so long already.”

Me too, Lauren. Me too. It explains why she was swimming toward the bottom of the pool. It’s got inbuilt lights at the bottom.

She takes a deep breath before continuing, “Lauren and Nolan came with me and Alexander paid for it.”

My breath hitches at the mention of Dacre and Mercier's involvement and for a moment I’m blinded by a jealousy that I’ve no right to feel. I could have been there for Lauren if I hadn’t been acting like a stubborn bitch all week. “They know?” I ask, a hint of unease tainting my words.

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