Page 2 of Blind Sin

My head spins as I try to stand and I have to grip the chair to pull myself upright. I dawns on me that I’m never going to find her. My heart feels like it’s going to shatter, eclipsing the pain in my head and on my face.

I head back to my room and check myself out in the mirror. My face is red and has lacerations all over it from the shards of china that pierced the skin. I’ve become adept at knowing how to cover marks and bruises. Tomorrow, thanks to make up, I’ll look like the Lucinda Waldgrave that everyone knows and loves. America’s sweetheart. I choke out a laugh and decide to leave the blood streaks on my face. I like how I look like this. I don’t look like me. I think of Lauren and how beautiful she was with her edgy hair, and then another wave of pain washes over me. For the first time in our lives I saw a peek of what she could be, of the woman she could become away from my father and his neglect and abuse. And then it was gone. I had a few hours with her and I spent them all seething over what Josh and his friends had done to her.

“Josh,” I murmur out his name and memories of the best summer of my life hit me. I never thought I’d see him again, but I wished for it. Even after he smeared my name over the media, I never stopped loving him. It never occurred to me that Lauren loved him too. She loved the fantasy, I loved the real boy, but he’s no longer a boy and Lauren is no longer here.

I don’t know how to find her. My father will never tell me. The pain is overwhelming and I can barely breathe through it. I head down through the house to the only part of this whole mansion that I feel safe. Going back down to Lauren’s room brings on a new wave of emotion but I bite it back.

Without her presence filling it, the room looks forsaken, cold. Apart from the bed and the old broken TV on the nightstand, there’s very little else. She didn’t really have clothes of her own so I shared mine with her. When they got dirty, I threw them in my wash basket. I don’t even know why our father bothered keeping her alive all these years. No one ever mentioned her and I’m not sure if any of the staff even knew she existed. The only time I mentioned her to my father, he beat me so badly that I couldn’t move for days. I was five years old. She had a servant of her own then. But not long after the beating, the servant left and I was the only one left to look after Lauren. My father never mentioned her, but I knew he knew that I was keeping her alive. There are cameras in every inch of this house. Ironically, the only part of it that doesn’t have cameras is right here in the basement. Maybe he didn’t want to see evidence of his abuse.

I lie on the bed and inhale. The sheets haven’t been changed since Lauren left, not that I expected them to be. Nevertheless, her scent is almost gone. It’s been well over a week since we dashed out of the house and ran to our mother’s cabin. We should both be in Sao Paulo by now. Soaking up the sun on a beach.

I wrap myself in her blankets, and though it’s still morning, I close my eyes and try to sleep through the nightmare.

* * *

“Ms Waldgrave, over here.”

“Lucinda!”

I ignore the paparazzi as I hurry through the doors of the Ritz Carlton Hotel. My make up skills are perfect, but it only takes one photograph taken at the wrong angle and my scars will be out in the world for everyone to see.

I know the protocol. Small smile, quick nod. Pretend my life isn’t a horrific shit show. My father’s guard has hold of my arm. To the world, he’s guarding my safety, but in reality he’s here to make sure I behave. If one pair of eyes and ears watching everything I do isn’t enough, Enid, my father’s private secretary is on my other side with a notepad and pen, ready to catalogue every single way I’ve failed.

I don’t hate most of my father’s staff. He has a hold on most of them. For many, it's a tether kept short by the promise of financial gain. However, there are those he manipulates using far more insidious methods, resorting to tactics like blackmail to maintain their loyalty. Enid, though, is a cold hearted bitch and I think she actually enjoys working for my father.

I know I need to be on my best behavior, but all I can think of as I step into the elevator to the penthouse that my father has booked out for me to meet my prospective new fake boyfriend, is a way to escape and find Lauren.

The suite is exactly as I remembered it from the last time we went through this charade. White, expensive and devoid of any character. I hate it, but it’s my father’s preferred room and so here I am. Last time I had every Hollywood pretty boy paraded in front of me to choose from. I chose Matt Deniver purely on the basis that I caught him eyeing up the bell boy and decided that a gay fake boyfriend would be less hassle than a straight fake boyfriend. I didn’t want to add the complication of some asshole falling for me then, any more than I do now.

I settle myself on the white sofa and plaster on a smile.

“Mr. York-Smyth is your first guest,” Enid says without checking her notes. She’ll have every single one of the men memorized, including how much money they have in their bank accounts, down to the cent. Sure enough, when she continues, she rattles off a list of his family’s accomplishments, their titles, and not a single thing of interest about him.

When he’s ushered into the room, I play the part. I smile and shake his hand. He’s good looking enough, but I don’t care. I’ve spent years surrounded by the best looking men in the world thanks to my acting career. Unless he knows where Lauren is, I don’t give a rat’s ass about any part of them.

The hours tick by slowly with me using my acting skills to pretend to give a shit about these men and Enid taking copious notes so my father can pick one. I don’t even know why I’m here. It’s not as though I have any choice in the matter. By the time the last one is ushered in, I’m exhausted. I can’t remember a single distinguishing feature about any of the eight or so men I’ve spoken to and if it was up to me, I wouldn’t date any of them. I don’t expect much from the last guy either. Unlike the others, I’ve not heard this one’s name before, but Enid tells me his long family history as she had for the others so I hold my head high and plaster the smile back on my face. Only another half hour of this to go and I can go grab dinner. I’ll still be with Enid and the guard, but at least I’ll be in a restaurant in public surrounded by normal human beings and Enid will be forced to stop lecturing me.

When he comes in, my breath seizes in my throat. It’s him. The guy with Josh in Alexander Dacre’s apartment. Nolan something.

“This is Charles Wentworth. His father, Charles Wentworth Senior, owns The National Bank,” Enid announces with a grin, punctuating her statement with an uncharacteristic smile. Nolan takes her hand, kissing the back of it with a charm that catches me off guard. Suppressing my confusion, I watch as he gracefully occupies the seat left vacant by the previous candidate.

He’s wearing a wig to cover up his short buzzed head and his tattoos are completely covered by a smart suit, but it’s definitely him. When he speaks he has a very defined British accent that I don’t remember him having.

“He doesn’t own the whole bank. He’s merely a shareholder,” Nolan says, giving Enid a wide smile that seems to disarm her. It’s fascinating. In all the years I’ve known the old bitch, I’ve never seen her smile once before now.

“No need to be humble here, Mr. Wentworth. As you know, Ms Waldgrave has a fortune in her own right. We want to make sure she ends up with someone she’s compatible with. Plus, I happen to know that your father owns half of Wall Street and those shares you mention happen to be worth billions of dollars.”

Nolan puts his hand to his chest. “You’ve got me there. But I’m not here to talk about my father, I’m here to meet this ravishing beauty. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms Waldgrave. I’m sure we are going to be very compatible. I think you’ll find we have a lot in common, don’t you?”

He takes my hand to kiss the back of it and as he lifts it to my mouth, he gives me the ghost of a wink. He’s here to help me find Lauren.

“Yes, Mr. Wentworth,” I reply, my heart pounding in my chest. “Yes, I think we will.”

2

DACRE

“Did they fall for it?” I’ve been on tenterhooks since the second we came up with this plan, but by some miracle, Mercier seems to have pulled it off judging by the smug look on his face.

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