Page 28 of Blind Sin

“I, err…” Lauren stumbles over her words, uncertain and I wonder why she’s not jumping at the chance for some alone time with Lucinda.

Mercier drops the book down. “It’s a great idea. I need to pick up some stuff I ordered from the shop.”

“No.” I give him a suspicious look. If he wants to beat me into Lauren’s pants, he is choosing a weird way to do it. It’s clear Lauren doesn’t want to go and there are about three million reasons I can think of off the top of my head why this is a bad idea. “Someone might recognize Lucinda,” I argue. “Lauren obviously doesn’t feel confident to go out on the boat yet, and she can’t anyway. Not until her skin tans a bit.” I try to make a convincing case. But as usual, Mercier doesn't listen.

“No worries,” Mercier says, stepping across the room and picking my keys up from the kitchen counter where I left them. “I’ll drive Lucinda back to the mainland and you can stay here and look after Lauren.”

“There’s no fucking way I’m letting you drive my parents boat. You drive like a lunatic at the best of times.”

“Fine, Mercier says, nonchalantly, dropping the keys back on the counter. “Don’t stay here... alone... with Lauren.”

Lucinda obviously picks up on his not so subtle hint. She gives me a suspicious look and I can’t say I blame her. Mercier is going to fuck this up for both of us.

I hold my hands up. “I won’t touch her. She’s safe, I promise.” And I won’t. I don’t have time for this game with Mercier. He’s all bluster anyway. Neither of us ended up in her bed last night. I know because he’d not shut up about it if he’d succeeded.

“That’s settled then.” Mercier winks as he picks the keys up and is out the door before I realize I’ve been monumentally played.

“I’m sure he’ll drive carefully,” Lauren murmurs in my ear as I watch Lucinda and Mercier walk along the dock.

I let out a sigh. “I just hope your sister is a better swimmer than you are. She might end up having to swim back.”

Lauren snickers. It dawns on me that this is the first time we’ve been alone together since the night of the Letterman Ball. It feels like there’s unfinished business between us, but now I’m here with her, it doesn’t seem right. That night she had a spark about her that changed how I felt about her, but since being here, she’s reverted back to the little mouse that I first met.

She looks up at me, or at least her eyes, turn to mine. “What should we do?”

What should we do? I know what I’ve wanted to do since that night, but now I have the chance, I don’t want to. It’s not even the promise I made to Lucinda, although that’s enough of a reason. She’s not the girl that has been rattling round in my head and my chest and though I could start something, I’m not really into submissive girls. I want the spitfire she was that night. But there’s no artificially simulating that night. It was watching her with Letterman that stirred something within me. The closest I’ve come to feeling that way since coming onto the island was watching Mercier finger fuck her in the pool. It tightened my chest, twisting it with a low level jealousy, but I enjoyed it too. Now it would be too easy to force her to my room, but I don’t have time to live with the fall out and we’ve all got enough shit to deal with, even if I’m the only one that realizes it.

“Nothing. I’m going to my room. I sent reports off to Letterman this morning, but I’ve still got an assignment to do. You’ll be alright on your own?”

She looks sad, but she nods her head.

It takes more than I thought I had in me to leave her alone, but she needs to learn to be on her own for a while and I need to not make this so much worse than it already is.

I ignore the sounds of movement drifting in from the kitchen and try to concentrate on my assignment. It’s one of the last things I need to do to pass my uni course so I have to do it well if I want to keep my internship with Letterman. I got it thanks to my name, but I’ll only keep it with good grades.

Writing is like wading through treacle. My mind is on what Lauren is doing out there, what will happen if Waldgrave finds us, if my parents know I’m here and wondering if Mercier has ever driven a boat before.

I frown as I look at the nonsense I’ve just written on my screen. I’m fucking better than this. I want to run my own damned company, but today I can’t even run my own thoughts where I need them to go. I stand up and run my hands through my hair.

“You hungry?”

I spin to find Lauren at my door. She looks fucking spectacular with her hair swept back and her long legs on show beneath a tiny sundress.

“Your sister wont like you wearing that,” I point out taking her all in. She looks downright filthy. Something I think our little mouse knows, judging by the way she’s leaning against my door frame.

“I made you lunch,” she says, holding out a plate with a sandwich on it and ignoring my earlier comment. I glance at my phone. It’s way past lunch time. I should have made lunch for her, not the other way around.

“You made this by yourself?” I ask, taking a bite. It’s not just a plain sandwich. It’s got layer after layer of meat, cheese and various sauces.

“Mercier taught me,” she admits.

Hearing how close they are becoming burns my chest, but I don’t know why. I could have done something with her today, but I chose to leave her on her own. I have no right to be jealous. I want to ask her if she’s fucked him yet, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer. I doubt it. There hasn’t been a second where Lucinda hasn’t been hovering around Lauren since we got here...until now.

“It’s good.” I can’t keep my eyes off Lauren as I eat the sandwich. She doesn’t move from her pose by the door. It feels very staged, like she’s expecting something.

“Aren’t you eating?”

She shrugs. “I ate mine before bringing yours in here.”

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