Page 53 of Blind Sin

“There they are!” Alexander’s voice cuts over the breeze. “Do you two fancy a twilight swim in the ocean?”

Beside me Lauren stands. “Sure. Lauren?”

I shake my head. “I can just about cope with the pool now. I’m not sure how comfortable I’ll feel in the ocean.”

“We’ve been taking lessons,” Nolan buts in. “You’re fine. You can swim well enough to almost drown me if you want to.”

“I know, I admit. I just don’t want to drag you all down. You go in. I’ll sit here.” It’s not drowning in the ocean that scares me anymore, at least not with Nolan and the others around; it’s drowning in my own feelings.

“Fair enough.”

I bring my knees up to my chest as I hear the three of them frolicking in the sea. Lauren squeals loudly and I know they must be pushing each other over, dunking her under the waves playfully. Jealousy hits me again and this time I don’t know why.

“You mind if I sit here?”

Josh’s deep timbre cuts through my thoughts. My whole body tenses as he takes the place where Lucy vacated just minutes before.

“Why aren’t you out there with them?” he asks.

I shrug. “Why aren’t you?”

“Touché.”

We’re both silent and I can barely breathe as the nerves threaten to overcome me. Knowing that Josh is now with Lucy should make this easier, but it doesn’t. The memory of him touching my body, of him taking my virginity and how good he made me feel won’t leave my thoughts, even as I try to concentrate on the sounds of the others in the sea.

“They seem to be having a good time,” he remarks, and when I don’t answer, he adds, “Luce doesn’t seem too bothered that you are fucking both my best friends.”

I freeze. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that he would know. “Which one told you?”

“You just did.”

I let out an embarrassed breath. I want to beg him not to tell Lucy, but I’ve no right to ask that of him. I need to tell her and not put everyone in this situation.

He leans in close to me. “Do you like it?”

“What?” I ask as a shiver runs down my spine. I wish he wasn’t so close to me. He’s not wearing a top which is perfectly fine in this heat, but his body brushing against mine is having unwanted feeling rippling through my body. He’s with Lucy now. I’m just hyper turned on all the time thanks to Nolan and Alexander.

“Do you like fucking my best friends?” he growls in my ear, sending a shiver of lust straight to my core. He’s playing with me. This isn’t idle chit chat. He has Lucy. I won’t let him play with me too.

“Yes, as a matter of fact. I like it the most when they both take me at once! Alexander’s cock in my mouth, Nolan’s in my pussy and both of them filling me with their cum.”

I clamp my mouth together horrified at what I’ve just said. My cheeks heat as mortification rips through my soul. What am I doing? I’m trying to hurt Josh for dating my sister. It’s both awful and depressing, not to mention stupid. Like Josh cares what I do. He was just provoking me for a reaction and he got one. He’ll probably be laughing about this for the rest of the night. I stand up and brush the sand from my legs.

“I’m heading inside,” I shout out, hoping that Lucy can hear me. Then, without saying another word to Josh, rush inside.

36

NIX

Iwatch her run down the beach to the house, fucking petrified of the words that just came out of her mouth. I’ve had women talk dirty to me before. Hell, most of the bitches I fucked back at uni, thought I enjoyed hearing that shit, but honestly, most of the time I wanted them to just shut the fuck up so I could concentrate on what I was doing. But with Lauren, it was a fucking majestically sight to behold. The way she forcefully blurted out how much she enjoyed fucking my best friends, her cheeks turning cherry pink as a result, then fleeing off as though her running away could take the words with her. I never thought she even knew half of those words, but it seems Mercier and Dacre have been teaching her a few things. More than a few things if she is to be believed. My heart is like a fucking great ball of lead knowing that my friends are taking what I should have long ago, but I can’t blame them. I’m the one that’s been fucking around this whole time, hiding away like a fucking pussy.

I let all my shit over Luce take over the one thing that I should have been looking at the whole time. The last three days with Luce have opened my eyes in more ways than one. I forgot how amazing she is and how much I loved her. I still do. You can’t throw away a love like that, even if both parties prefer pussy. Especially if one is a miserable asshole which I can finally admit that I am. But with Lauren, I’ve left it too late. I let my own shit stop me and now she’s into my friends.

Anger grips me, but it slowly bleeds away as I watch Dacre throw Luce over his shoulder into the ocean. All this time, the four of them have been just getting on with shit while I’ve hidden away.

Once upon a time, I’d have fucking lost it watching Dacre and Nolan touching Luce so freely, but I know it’s just a game. She doesn’t want them and they don’t want her. Not in any way that counts. They just look happy. Like a family that I’ve lost.

Any anger I do have left is solely directed at me. The urge to go to Lauren’s room and take her while the others are occupied is immense, but I’ve fucked up my chances there. I watch on as Mercier pretends to be a shark, then drags Luce under the water. They both come up a few seconds later and Luce grabs him by the neck and tries to dunk him. It’s so fucking perfect. The waning sun, the slight breeze. Watching my family. That’s what they are. Except I’m no longer part of it.

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