Page 48 of Blind Sin

“Scarlet Lexington? The actress?” He looks at me incredulously then the tension drips from his features as he begins to laugh. “Fuck me, Luce. She is super hot.”

I look on at him in amazement then start to laugh too. “She doesn’t even know. I don’t know what to do?”

I rest my hand to my forehead. It’s a kind of divine passage that I’ve told Josh my biggest secret before I told anyone else. Both of us are scared to admit our feelings to anyone, because we’ve both lost people we love and we both hold onto the scars of our pasts.

“Maybe you should just tell her?” he suggests.

“That’s good advice for both of us,” I say thinking of Lauren. There’s no one in the world I would want to see my sister with than Joshua. I knew him before the bullshit started raining down on us and before the anger. I believe that he’s still in there, the boy I used to know.

“Did you ever really love me?” he finally asks.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you were the love of my life,” I reply, my heart bleeding raw. “Besides Lauren, you are the only person I’ve ever really let into my heart. You two are the only people that know who I really am

His reaction is filled with confusion, and I can’t blame him. “I know you said you did, but if you’re into girls...”

“Girl singular and I still don’t know exactly how I feel yet.” I let out a sigh. “You have to realise that you are the only man in my life that never abused me, or at last watched on while I was being abused. Maybe that’s had some bearing on my sexuality, I don’t know. I only know that I have a huge unexpected crush on one of my co stars and I haven’t a clue if she feels the same way.”

Tears fall down my face and I don’t know if they are happy tears or sad tears. He wipes them away with his thumb. “You know, I’ve never seen you cry before.”

It’s like a pressure has lifted and I can’t keep the tears from falling. He brings me close to him, wrapping me in his arms like he used to do all those years ago. It’s like finally coming home.

32

LAUREN

Something has shifted between Lucy and Josh. She came back from Josh’s room last night looking more relaxed than I’ve seen her since this ordeal began and this afternoon it was Josh that helped Lucy in the kitchen, not Nolan. My body is still humming from the memories of all the orgasms that Nolan and Alexander gave me yesterday, and yet I’m consumed with jealousy about Lucy and Josh. It’s clear something is going on between them. I hate how jealous I am. Josh belonged to Lucy long before I met him and though he was the one that took my virginity, he only did it because he thought I was her. I have two men who take my breath away, so why is it I’m pining for more? Is it because I’ve always been in love with Josh or is it simply because once again, Lucy has something I want? I shake my head to get the thought out of my head. It’s so selfish and crazy. I want her to be happy. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s Lucy, so why does my heart ache when I hear how easy they are together now?

“What’s up Sinful,” Nolan asks, running a hand on my ass. I bat it away quickly.

“Nothing,” I lie. I can’t tell Nolan I’m pining after his best friend. Especially after what he did to me yesterday morning.

“Something’s the matter,” Alexander whispers, sliding onto the bench seat on the other side of me. My cheeks flame as I remember the last time I was with him, too. These men have quickly become my everything, yet there’s another pair of voices my ears are trained on.

Lucy and Josh.

“Dinner’s up,” Lucy says cheerfully, taking a seat opposite me at the big dining table. “Josh and I made it, so it probably won’t be as good as what our resident chef can do, but I think we did a good job.”

“We did a fucking amazing job.” Josh hands me a plate, grazing my arm with his fingers as he does and sending my body into a flutter of sensation.

In front of me, Josh and Lucy fall into an easy conversation.

“I think our girl is jealous that Nix and Lucinda are playing kissy kissy again,” Nolan murmurs. I hate how my heart clenches. This is amazing news. I should be happy… but I’m not. Josh was never mine, I remind myself. He always belonged to Lucy.

“I think we need to do something to take her mind off it,” Alexander replies.

“Good idea.” Nolan replies, running his hand up my thigh under the table as Alexander snakes his hand around my back and cups one of my ass cheeks over my thin sundress. I heave in a gasp, and then gulp it back, nudging Nolan away from me.

“Lucy. Can you pass me the butter please,” I say pointedly, hoping to get her attention away from Josh and make it so it’s not so obvious what’s going on between me and the other two men.

“She’s preoccupied, Sinful, but here’s the butter.”

I reach out to take the butter dish from Nolan’s hand, but something warm touches my lips. I open and taste asparagus smothered in butter. “What do you think?” Nolan asks. “It’s the left over asparagus from yesterday.”

I lick the butter from my lips and nod, trying to keep a straight face as Nolan’s other hand slides under the hem of my dress and between my legs. “Mmmm,” I say loudly. “It tastes delicious.”

“Don’t lick your lips like that,” he growls into my ear. “You’re making me wonder what else you can do with that tongue of yours.”

My heart races as I wait for Lucy to scream at him across the table, but she really must be occupied with her conversation with Josh, because I’m pretty sure she’d have something to say about that remark if she’d heard it.

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