Page 26 of Joker in the Pack

I tried to protest, but she wouldn’t listen.

“Liv, you’ve got enough on your plate without starving as well.”

Mickey blew out the candles, and when we got outside, I put the padlock on the front door.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Maddie said. “I can’t see anyone breaking in to steal an LED disco ball.”

“I left my laptop in the lounge, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Perhaps next time, you could hide it under the neoprene waist-trimming belt or that blanket thing with the feet.”

The three of us piled back into Maddie’s car for the short drive to The Cock and Bull. The twee country pub was a far cry from the sleek wine bars I’d been accustomed to visiting in the city, and the flashing sign outside still wished us a merry Christmas. Inside, someone had tried to go upmarket with a polished metal bar, understated lighting, and sleek glass tables, but then they’d spoiled it with leopard-print bar stools and a life-size reindeer complete with freaky red eyes.

“Cock and Bull?” Mickey muttered as Maddie tried to get the barmaid’s attention. “What kind of name is that?”

“Used to be called The Elusive Count,” the old man propping up the bar next to us said. “But the local kids kept crossing out the O.”

“The Elusive C… Oh dear.” Maddie screwed up her face. “Maybe the change was for the best.”

The man shook his head. “Wrecked this place, young Barry has. Ever since he took over from his father, it’s been new this, new that. Used to be a nice place for a quiet pint, and now look at it.” He gestured at the cactus on the corner of the bar. “The place is full of shite.”

“Now, now, Bernie,” the barmaid said, pushing a bowl of crisps in his direction. “Don’t you be scaring off the newcomers.” She smiled at us. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

“I’ve just moved here. Into Eleanor Rigby’s house.”

“The old lady who died?”

I nodded. “She was my aunt, but I hadn’t seen her in a long while.”

“Sorry to hear that. If it helps, nobody in the village saw much of her either. Kept herself to herself. I’ve worked here for almost ten years, and not once did she come in for a drink.”

“I’ll try to be more sociable.” Otherwise my life in Upper Foxford promised to be a lonely one. “I’m Olivia.”

“Jean. I live down by the old railway station.”

“Those were the days,” Bernie said. “My father used to work on the railways, and his dad before him. Got any more nuts, Jeanie?”

“Only the wasabi peanuts, and you don’t like those.”

Bernie gave a long sigh. “Bloody Barry and his newfangled ideas. What’s wrong with dry roasted?” He fixed his gaze on me. “You don’t eat that rubbish, do you?”

Actually, I was quite fond of wasabi. “Uh…”

“Ignore him.” A voice came from over my shoulder. “Bernie’s not happy unless he’s complaining about something. Right, Bernie?”

“Easy to do here.”

I turned to look at the stranger and found a sandy-haired guy three inches taller than me, wearing an easy smile.

“So, you’re new to the village?” he asked.

“I moved into Lilac Cottage about six hours ago.”

“I’m surprised old Eleanor’s place has even got the electricity connected up.”

“It hasn’t.”

His eyes widened. “Then how can you live there?”

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