Page 2 of Joker in the Pack

“If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.” I plastered on a grin I absolutely didn’t feel. “Everything’ll be fine.”

The door rattled in its frame as Edward slammed it behind him.

“Pig!” I shouted.

The nosey old lady upstairs banged on the ceiling as I stumbled over to the freezer for another pint of Ben & Jerry’s finest. I carefully placed the tub of Chunky Monkey next to my economy-sized glass of white and alternated spoonfuls with cutting Edward’s face out of every photo ever taken of the two of us.

Snip, snip, slurp.

Snip, snip, slurp.

Snip, snip, slurp.

I’d just got through the album of our first year together when Maddie called.

“How did it go?”

“Oh, it was just super. Perfect. Couldn’t have been better.”

“And how did it really go?”

I threw the scissors down on the coffee table, and lots of little Edward-faces scattered everywhere.

“He insisted on taking the chafing dish. I was the only one who ever used it. He can’t even turn it on, for goodness’ sake! He’s…he’s just…an asshole!”

“Well, we already knew that.”

“And he took the set of glass bowls we brought back from Venice. I picked those out, and he knew how much I loved the colours. But he said he paid for them, so he was having them.”

“He’s just being spiteful because you wouldn’t let him have his cake and eat it. It makes me glad I rubbed cut chilli on his toilet paper.”

“You didwhat?”

“While you were trying to get the curtain pole down. Habaneros. I bought them specially.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I ended up snorting instead. Mother would have been furious at how unladylike I’d become. My eyes began watering again, although I wasn’t sure whether it was from the grief of finalising my break-up with Edward or the thought of what two-hundred-thousand Scoville units would do to the delicate skin of his backside. Maddie hung on, patient as always, as I blew my nose.

“Will the peppers leave any permanent damage?”

“I don’t think so, but I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.”

“I don’t know whether to kiss you or curse you.”

“I’ll settle for a hug next time we see each other. You really are better off without him—you know that, right?”

I carefully avoided answering her question. “You’re the best friend a girl could have. Did I ever tell you that?”

“Maybe once or twice.”

I smiled to myself. Maddie sure was one in a million. “Get back to your date.”

Maddie had told me a hundred times that I was better off without Edward, and while my head could accept that, it was taking longer for my heart to comprehend. A month ago, it had been filled with affection for the man I’d hoped to marry, and now there was a yawning hole in my chest. Empty. I was empty.

Four weeks, two days, and three hours had passed since I walked in on Edward doing the dirty on me, and after two weeks of numbness where I’d ignored every call, the wounds were still raw. Little things got to me, like fetching one mug of tea instead of two in the mornings and the absence of his low-fat soya milk in the fridge. My solitary toothbrush in the holder in the bathroom. The excess of space in the hall closet.

Then there were the intangibles. The cold stillness of the flat late in the evening. The times I turned around to pass comment on some triviality, only to remember I was alone. Those things were the worst, but of course, I couldn’t escape the practicalities either. I’d never had to worry about budgeting before, and now the bills were mounting up.

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