Page 58 of Devil's Vengeance

Bear knocked on Croy’s office door. Brewer opened it, taking us both in, before looking over his shoulder. “He’s here.”

“Send him in. Then fuck off.”

He dipped his chin in acknowledgement and stepped aside for me to enter. Forcing my head up, I strode forward. I could accept whatever was coming for me. Didn't mean I could look any of them in the eye. I stared at the wall as I passed each officer, stopping in front of Croy’s desk. One by one, they filed out in silence. The door shutting behind me had a note of finality to it. Closing me off to the life I loved and the people I would give my life for. What had I been thinking?

“Sit,” Croy said, his voice terse but quiet. It wasn’t like him. He was almost always yelling. But this wasn’t the time to yell. And he didn’t need to. I wasn’t gonna cry about it. I wasn’t going to beg. I deserved this.

I sat in the chair across from him and dropped my gaze to his desk. I was a coward. Couldn’t face the crew I’d betrayed because of my own selfish desire for revenge.

“I take it you heard.”

I nodded, but I didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” he asked, forcing me to look up at him. It wasn’t the Croy I knew sitting across from me. He was angry, sure, but he also looked broken. I’d only ever seen him look that way once before. When Mass died. Losing someone he was so close to wrecked him and he was quietand somber for weeks afterward. He and Nevada had been family to each other. Hell, Nevada had been a father figure to a lot of us. Called anyone younger than him son and treated them the same. Treated me like his kid, too.

Unlike before, I couldn’t bring myself to lie again. It didn't matter anymore. The truth was out there and it got someone killed. Why lie?

“Yeah, Prez. I… I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t think–”

“No. You fuckin’ didn’t. If you had, you would’ve told the crew the minute you knew a rival crew with a grudge was in our territory. You would’ve said something when they showed up at Lacey’s club, or at the bar. You had plenty of opportunities to come clean. You didn’t. Why?”

He grew more heated with every sentence until a familiar fury overtook his face. It was the Croy I knew, always pissed at something unless Riley was there to settle him. And she wasn’t going to rescue me twice tonight. She already stuck her neck out for me. It nearly got her killed right along with Nevada.

I shook my head, eyes locked on his. “I thought I could handle it. It was between me and him. I just wanted to get him alone and deal with him myself. I never planned to include the crew because it wasn’t about them. Or his crew. It was between us.”

He stared at me for a long minute, a muscle in his jaw jumping as he ground his teeth together. I kept waiting for him to pull out his gun and shoot me in the face. Every minute he didn't reach for it only made me more nervous. What else did he have planned for me?

After what felt like hours, he finally spoke. “I wanted to haul your ass to the gas station. Wanted to drag it out for as long as possible for putting Riley at risk.”

I nodded and dropped my head a little. I deserved that. But I wasn’t expecting what came next.

“I can’t do that anymore. It’d be a dishonor to Nevada’s memory.”

Whipping my head up, I frowned at him. “What?”

He scowled at me, leaning back in his chair. “He vouched for you. Said he believed you made a mistake, and you’d punish yourself plenty for it. He wanted you to have another chance to make it right. And since he died afew hours later, before we could make a final vote, the officers agreed to honor his decision as his last request. He died to save you tonight. You’re gonna have to fuckin’ live with that.”

A whole host of emotions slammed into me. Horror, pain, relief, hope. But it all was weighed down heavily by regret. I shook my head.

“No, Prez. I don’t deserve that. I should–”

He slammed his fist onto the desk, silencing me.

“You don’t get a choice. Nevada gave his life for yours. You’re going to live every damn day with that regret. And you’re going to live a long fuckin’ time. I’m not lettin’ you waste his sacrifice. If I even hear a word of you wanting to take your own life, I’ll hand you to a mental institution and watch you rot in there, alive and kicking, until old age takes you. That’s what you owe him for giving up his life for your bullshit plan for revenge. He died. You lived. Deal with it.”

CHAPTER 35

MARIAH

After what happened at the hospital, I made the request to go home. Not to my apartment. Trick would take any chance he got to grab me. I wanted to see my parents. My heart ached for Cleo, and I kept hearing her sobs on repeat inside my head. I needed comfort and familiarity. I needed the people closest to me. And surprisingly, they allowed it. Sam and her old man followed behind me on the road with a few other bikers at their back. Some would just shadow me. A few would stick around as security. I told them Trick didn’t know where my parents lived, but they weren’t sure if it was me or Chase they followed to Riley’s house. They weren’t taking chances. They didn’t want Nevada’s sacrifice to be in vain.

It was well after midnight when I pulled up in front of my mom’s house. I didn’t call first, so unless I was really quiet, she’d definitely wake up and have a lot of questions. I wasn’t ready to answer her yet. My heart hurt too much. I slid out of the car, pausing only a second to wave at Sam. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and she leaned heavily on her old man, barely lifting a hand to wave at me before latching back onto him. I was jealous that she had someone she could lean on tonight. I was too scared to ask what happened to Chase.

They waited until I slipped in through the front door before driving off, leaving two bikers I wasn’t familiar with sitting out front. I locked the door behind me, paranoid that Trick would burst in at any second. No one said ifhe was one of the ones arrested or killed. I never went near the bodies on scene to check. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the sounds of the gun blasts, the images of the aftermath, and Cleo’s sobs. It was all there, haunting me, keeping me frozen at the front door until the kitchen light flicked on.

“Mariah? Baby? What are you doin’ here so late?”

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