Page 56 of Be My Sacrifice

He turns his gaze to Zeke and Abe. “She has been made an orphan by the Brotherhood, has lost everything, and still she is a force to be reckoned with as theUnholy Ghost. The populace will flock to her. They will follow where she leads.“ His eyes are large, filled with fervor and madness.Jesus, he’s insane,the realization terrifies me.

“And you would tie a noose around my neck, making me a puppet while you create a new world order, using my name as the flag for change.” I grab onto his dark shirt, lifting the small blade that he didn’t see me unsheathe from my wrist, and pressing it up against his neck. “I will not be your puppet and allow you to enslave everyone again.” My heart pounds in my chest, the air thinning as I begin to lose control of myself.

“Then he will die, Dinah, and you will have to live with the knowledge and memory that you could have saved him.” I press the blade harder into his bronzed skin, until two drops of blood slip freely from around the sharp blade, and trail down the long, straight column of his neck. “We don’t plan to ever enslave them. We want them free, free to choose how they live, like it was in the old world.”

His hand wraps around mine, pushing the blade further into his neck like a psychopath, while never releasing his intense gaze from mine. “You would be free; all women would be free to choose what they do with themselves, their lives, and their bodies. No more classes or stations, Dinah. The world would revert back to the way it was before the Brotherhood took over.”

I yank my hand with the blade away from him, my body trembling with adrenaline and a tinge of fear at his madness.Is this possible?Could we really free everyone, and let the world go back to a time when there was freedom and choice for all?

Freedom is a mirage, Dinah. One cannot have freedom without someone else paying the price.My father’s words slip through my mind from my childhood. A moment in time before I realized he was a monster, and I asked him why the world we lived in was the way it was. I wanted to be able to do the same things as Gabriel, Zeke, and Abe, but was constantly being told to sit down, and be pretty. The role of a Sacred Daughter, already filled with chains that held me down, even at a young age. I remember the sadness in his face at those words. He knew then what I know now; no one is ever truly free. Sacrifices must be made in the name of freedom, and that word is a blanket we wrap around ourselves to hide from the dark. The dark is still there, though. It’s just waiting to consume you.

This man knows that, too. He is no fool. He gives hope with one hand while knowing that he must take it with the other. The question is not about unattainable freedom. The question is how far I’m willing to go to get what is mine back, and to keep all the people I love safe.

I cannot live without Sammy, Abe, and Zeke, and I will not let my brother’s child suffer at the hands of the Brotherhood. I close my eyes, making peace with the fact that there is no actual decision to be made here. That is why David is so fearless and confident. He knew he had the right carrot to dangle in front of me. He holds the power to my, and their, survival. He’s an asshole, but a smart and cunning one, it seems.

I open my eyes, gray clashing against brown, and I let him see his own death in the depths of mine. I show him the levels of my insanity that are just below the surface, chained and ready to devour everything in my path. I let him see the monster rattling in its cage, begging to be released, so it can cause infinite bloodshed and misery. I allow him to meet theUnholy Ghost,and know that once I’m released from the burdens of my morality, I will not stop. I will lay waste to everything in my path. I let him see the real me, the terrified girl who became the woman who would never kneel at a man’s throne.

“You will have yourUnholy Ghostwho will lead the people to a new world, I swear it, but David, be very sure you know what you are unleashing. Once released from her chains, you cannot put her back in the box.”

I turn away, desperately needing to get some space from everything and everyone I have encountered tonight, and go over what I have just done. I turn and look at him over my shoulder, and my gaze is scathing and promising him death. “If he dies, or you renege on your word and both of them are not returned to me alive, you will not be able to hide from me. I will take your life first.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it, Dinah Camrose. You are truly something wondrous to behold. By morning, you will have all the soldiers and weapons you need, and the intel to retrieve your Sammy. The boy will be rescued and brought to you. I swear it on my life, but you need to hold up your end of our bargain, or I will have you all killed.”

I turn away and take a few steps into the darkened night, unafraid of threats, and hear Abe and Zeke’s footsteps mirroring mine. Just when we are almost at a safe distance, David calls out to me and has me stopping short, and Zeke and Abe do the same. “Dinah, you will have to murder the Holy Father, if we have any chance of succeeding. He must die as a sacrifice to cleanse the earth of the Brotherhood’s power.”

Fuck, I don’t even acknowledge his demand, but I was waiting for it. There was no way, unless the Holy Father was involved, he was going to be left alive. I just had a small hope it wouldn’t be me they required to slaughter him. I guess we can never get what we want in this world. What is more bloodshed, when faced with the opportunity to have my Sammy and my nephew back? The price is the Holy Father’s death. He’s already taking his last breaths, he just doesn’t know it yet.

I keep moving forward, giving David my back, showing the cunt that I am not afraid of him when inside, terror is running rampant. I replay David’s words rapidly in my mind, and one thing sticks out immediately. He said, ‘We,’when I questioned him about enslaving the populace under a different banner.

“We don’t plan to ever enslave them. We want them free, free to choose how they live, like it was in the old world.”

He’s not the only one at the head of this. He might be the ringmaster, but I don’t think he owns the circus. He’s the shadowed face of the rebellion, but I don’t believe he could have pulled all this off without help. Something nefarious is happening here, something just out of the reach of the light. Someone else is pulling the strings, but the question is, who?

Who is playing with mine and my men’s lives? Who wants me to destroy the world as we know it?

Chapter thirty-seven

The Forsaker

Zeke

Dinahwassilentonour return to the safehouse we have been staying at. The one that the rebels gave us, and no longer feels so safe. Yet I’ve never been so relieved to see the old, decrepit brownstone until that moment when we stepped back inside, shutting the door, and the world outside for a few moments, and I could finally take a deep breath. A breath, knowing that they were both safe, that we were all still alive, at least for one more night.Fuck, that went horribly wrong, but I guess it could have gone worse. Dinah could have attempted to kill David.

My mind keeps replaying all of David and Dinah’s conversation. Word for word, trying to make some sense of it. Everything that happened tonight was beyond fucked. Who is this David guy, and how has he grown so powerful with so much influence, right below the Brotherhood’s noses?

It doesn’t make sense to me. He’s one of the men closest to the top—the Holy Father’s man, inside the inner circle. At any point, he could have killed the Holy Father, cut off the head of the proverbial snake, and thrown the Order into chaos.Why hasn’t he? Why demand Dinah do it?

Why play these games with Dinah? Why bargain with her to do something he could have accomplished at any time? He says he knows where Sammy and the boy are being held, so why not just retrieve them? All of these questions with no direct answers play through my mind, causing a headache to begin pounding at the back of my skull. I rub my hands down my face, weary with all this shit. When will this all be over? When will we have some fucking peace?Never. As long as the world continues to spin on its axis, someone will always want power. Human nature is to corrupt everything around it.

My eyes wander to Dinah, who has been deadly silent on the return trip to our crumbling home. I’m worried about her and the toll all of this is having on her. It wasn’t mere weeks ago that she almost died. She seems entirely consumed by her own ruminations. Is she contemplating some of the same thoughts as I am? Will she give in to his demands to get Sammy and the boy back? Demands that could cost her her life? Dinah is not stupid or naive; she has to see this is a trap.

The question is, why lay a trap in the first place? They say they need her to get the people to fall in line, and give them something to believe in.Why her? Why not someone easier to control?

She could easily cause an uprising and get the people to turn against their new leaders. None of it makes sense to me. There has to be something else going on here that we are missing. Whatever it is, it terrifies me because it could end up taking her life if we’re not careful, and wary.I can’t lose her. I can’t lose any of them.

“Atasi, you can’t trust that fucker! This is a trap, all of it. I don’t believe any of that bullshit he was trying to feed us,” Abe utters the words and sentiments that were rumbling through my own mind. I can see the fury being barely contained inside of him. He’s angry, but he’s also frightened, just like I am. He can sense that her life is in danger, and that this David poses a real risk to her.She is mine, and I refuse to lose her again, even to herself. I have to do everything I can to protect her.

“He’s right, Snow. None of this makes sense. Why play these games? Why dangle Sammy and your nephew’s freedom in front of you, and ask you to be the face of an uprising, when you could easily turn the people against them?” I begin to pace back and forth with a restless energy, all of my emotions in an upheaval.I can’t lose her.I won’t give her up this time if someone tries to take her from me. I will set fire to the whole fucking world, and watch it burn to ashes if they even try. “Why demand that you murder the Holy Father, when he’s had intimate access to him all this time?”

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