Page 24 of Be My Sacrifice

“Saaammmmmyyyy.” She repeats the name, this time with more strength behind the word, while watching my features actively.

I close my eyes, knowing that I am about to hurt her but refusing to lie to her. When I reopen them, I let her see all of my love for her in their depths, so that she knows somehow that she is not alone, that I’m here with her, and that I will always be by her side. “He never made it out, Atasi. He’s a prisoner of the Brotherhood.”

Chapter sixteen

The Sinner

Dinah

Irestlesslymovearoundthe bedroom, stumbling a bit on my shaky and weak legs, but refusing to stay in bed regardless of the nurse’s and doctor’s orders. I would rather fall on my ass and get back up again a hundred times, than spend one more moment in its depths. I have already spent too many weeks confined to that bed, and I’m loath to waste any more of my precious and limited time inside of it.

No, I must strengthen myself again for what is still to come. The war that I plan to wage on those who tried to end my life without success. I plan to have the world burning down around me when I’m done seeking my vengeance.

A reckoning is coming to the Brotherhood, and I plan to lay waste to everyone who has used the system to hurt and take advantage of someone else within it. Those in power will all suffer at my hands first, starting with Noah Rothesay.

My mind circles once more over all the information I have learned since I woke from my deep slumber two days ago. We were attacked by Noah Rothesay, who somehow knew that I was theUnholy Ghost. The Brotherhood and Noah think that I am dead, murdered by Zeke’s own hand at the behest of his father. My precious Sammy is a prisoner behind enemy lines, with Zeke somehow protecting him. The question of why is making my head hurt.

My beloved brother, whom I thought I had known all my life, was actually a rebel and was trying to actively overthrow the Brotherhood before he was murdered. He has a two-year-old son I was never aware of, who Noah has kidnapped, and is now holding as a bargaining chip to get Zeke to do his bidding.

My feelings for Ezekiel Rothesay are in complete turmoil, from hating him one moment to wanting to thank him the next, for trying to protect my nephew and my lover, even though it was his hand that plunged the blade inside of me. I can’t let my thoughts dive too deeply into that moment, for I fear that it will either have me crying like a lunatic in the fetal position, or going on a massive killing spree. The verdict is still out on which will win out.

The rebels, led by Sarah Mercier, who herself is a rebel leader, managed to rescue Abraham and me, before I bled out on the bedroom floor at Zeke’s traitorous knees. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around how that docile and pious woman is a rebel leader. Now, here I am, after weeks of being trapped in a coma, fighting for my life, learning of everything that has occurred, and more conflicted than ever.

One thought presses into my mind with a massive urgency: how will I save Sammy and get my brother’s child back? There is no question of me leaving them in the Brotherhood or Noah’s clutches to die. I need to get them out and without further haste. The issue is how. Every waking moment since I learned of the truth, has been spent trying to come up with a plan to release them from captivity, and yet I haven’t been able to come up with shit.

Deep longing fills me for Sammy, and how we used to work together in our planning sessions against the Order. He was always the yin to my yang, the balance between my darkness and the light. He would know what to do so that we could extract them, but he’s not here. According to Sarah’s reliable source, a source she has so far refused to divulge to me, he might not even be alive once I finally get to him.

Fucking hell! I will gut Noah Rothesay if it’s the last thing I do. I can’t lose Sammy. I can’t lose any of them.

Rage fills me at all the Brotherhood has taken from me. Everything they touch, corrupt, and destroy with their evil, destructive ways. How instead of freeing our society with their false promises, they became the jailers with knives pressed to our throats. Their reign must end, and they have to be stopped before no one is left to fight back.I will free us, even if it takes my last breath to do it.

A warm body presses against mine, and my breath leaves me in a sigh at the scent of saltwater, coconut, and lime. He always smells delicious, as if he just stepped right out of one of the pages of those banned old magazines. The ones that showed couples and families enjoying vacations in tropical climates, wearing little clothing, and smiling for the cameras. All the things that the Brotherhood banned immediately when they took power.

There is no such thing as a vacation now, never mind a tropical one. Now, you work in your assigned societal station until the day you die. For some, that’s sooner than others. Women must be demure, respectful, and completely covered up in long, stifling dresses, whether in public or private, because the Lord is always watching. As is the Brotherhood that keeps its fucking Order.

That is unless you have the misfortune of being a Sacred Wife, or a woman that they want to use for their own depraved sexual gratifications. In that case, the fewer clothes you wear behind closed doors, so they can abuse you, the better.

“You should be resting, Atasi.” His nose nuzzles at my neck, taking deep inhales as if he can’t get enough of my smell, as his arms wrap around my frame and hold me firmly against him. I feel his body tightening, and a part of him growing hard and lengthening at the small of my back. It causes my core to clench tightly, and rips a gasp from my lips when it pulls on the stab wound that is still healing.

“Mmmm, fuck, Abe,” I moan as I turn in his arms and wrap my own around his neck, resting my head against his chest and listening to his powerful heart beating underneath. The need to feel him pressed tightly against me, reassuring me that he is here with me and is safe, when nothing in the world right now is safe for us, powers through me. He’s with me. He’s actually here. This is not just some fucked up coma-induced dream where he will evaporate before my eyes, only to be replaced by a monster.

“I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere, Atasi, but you should rest; you are still healing. You’re going to need your strength for what lies ahead.” His amber eyes glisten as he meets my gaze, the little lines around them tense and becoming more pronounced, as if he’s aged in the time I’ve been away from him. My poor, handsome Abe, who has taken the worries of the world on his broad shoulders.

“I can’t rest, Abe, not while I know that Sammy is being held captive, and they could be trying to kill him even now. I’m so worried about all of them, not just Sammy. What if that psycho tries to murder Gabriel’s son? What if… if he kills… Zeke?”

Abe’s hands tighten at my hips, so much so that I flinch in his firm grasp. His lips meet my forehead, where he presses a soothing kiss. “I know, Dinah. I am so fucking worried too. I worry that we might be too late when we finally get to them, and they will all be gone.” His body trembles as his fingers tip my chin back, so that I’m looking right into his eyes and witnessing the turmoil and pain in their depths.

“I know that he ultimately betrayed us, but I can’t convince myself that he did it to hurt you, and not for power or wealth like his cunt of a father insinuated. Zeke never gave a shit about either of those things before, and he wouldn’t have followed his father’s orders blindly. I know that he cares about you, cares about us. Why else would he be protecting Sammy like my mother claims?”

A deep shudder leaves him. “I just can’t forgive him, Dinah. He almost took you from me. I’m not sure that I want him dead, at least not at Noah’s hands, but my feelings are conflicted and wrapped up with anger. Can you find it in yourself to forgive what he has done?”

My thoughts circle and war within me. A part of me, the part that has known Zeke all her life, wants to believe that he wouldn’t have hurt me without a good reason. That part can almost convince herself to forgive him if he did it because he loved Abe. I know he was thinking of him, because you could see it clearly on his face.

The second part of me wars with that sentiment. She is less likely to forgive or forget what he did. How he found the strength to stab me with that blade. How his eyes held mine silently while I was dying, and never once spoke the words I longed to hear. That woman doesn’t want to forgive. She wants vengeance, and because both live inside of me, the struggle is almost impossible. It is a push and pull of emotions, each one volatile and trying to convince the other side of who is correct.

“I don’t know, Abe. He had to have his reasons, and whether Noah managed to manipulate him or not, I know, at the end, he was thinking of you. It was you that he wanted to protect more than anything. It must be killing him now, not knowing if you’re safe and alive, just like it has to be destroying Sammy thinking that I’m dead.”

“Fuck, Dinah. What do we do? How do we get them out of there? How do we save Gabe’s son? That kid didn’t even get to know his father before the Brotherhood took him away from him. How do we stop them once and for all?”

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