Page 9 of The Queen's Serpent

I stare once again at the bed linens, and wonder if I can rip them apart with my bare hands and use them somehow to escape. I know there is no way out through the barred window, and no way out through the bedroom door undetected; Diego made sure of that. Could I somehow use them to take my ownlife? Therefore depriving Diego of the satisfaction of watching me beg for my wretched life and freedom? A freedom that I know he will never grant.

I drag my hands down my face, knowing that it’s hopeless; even if I could rip the linens apart, how would I use them to take my life? There is nothing to hang them off of, even if I could form them into a noose. No, I need to provoke Diego into killing me in a fit of rage. I know he’s capable of it. He’s a merciless killer. A weapons dealer with no remorse for who he has to hurt to get what he wants.

One problem with that thought: he hasn’t been back to see me since he placed me under lock and key in this room. I guess he only remembers me when he wants a place to shove his cock into,the bastard.

My only options are to try to bribe one of the guards stationed outside of the room, or the medic. There is no point in even trying with Santiago; the man is loyal to his cockroach of a boss.Can I seduce the medic, Raphael?He’s such a timid creature, so unsuited to this criminal gangster life out here in the jungle. Is he perhaps a prisoner, too?

My thoughts are interrupted by the light tapping on the thick wooden door, and the knob turning. At least he has some manners, unlike the rest of these heathens, constantly barging in here without warning. My blood hums with anticipation of the morphine I hope he has with him, and my hands tense as sweat breaks out across my neck.

Act normal, bitch, or he will know something is wrong with you. The words are a whispered hiss in my mind, as I try not to jump out of my skin.

“Señorita?” A throat clearing from the doorway greets my ears. “I have come to give you your meds, and check on your bites.”

Raphael moves quietly into the room carrying a metal tray, his soulful brown eyes darting to me before a gentle smile appears,and then quickly disappears off his face. Santiago, his constant shadow, steps into the room behind him and closes the door, before leaning his large body against it. His face is passive and watchful.

“Buen día, señorita,“ Santiago nods respectfully in my direction. His dark gaze trails over my healing form before his eyes divert to looking elsewhere, as Raphael approaches me and starts his inspection of my bites.

At least I am no longer naked, or wrapped in a sheet. I was so grateful when Santiago brought me a few loose, white, sleeveless linen sundresses to wear. No fucking undergarments, but at least the dresses all go down past my knees, so I’m not flashing anyone my vagina.Small mercies, I guess.

I nod, but my eyes keep coming back to the clear vial of morphine on Raphael’s tray. The craving for oblivion calls to me like a sweet, seductive mistress, begging for me to end our pain. Need courses through my veins, as I try my best to remain still under Raphael’s inspection.

My mouth waters at just the thought of how good the feeling is when he gives me that shot. It feels like I’m soaring outside of my body; my limbs feel weightless, and euphoria explodes through my brain. It’s better than any orgasm I’ve ever had, even the ones Diego has given me. It makes every part of me light up and sing.I want it. I fucking need it.

I guess the all-knowing Diego didn’t do his research on his captive. The fucker either doesn’t realize that I’m a recovering addict, or perhaps he doesn’t care as long as the drugs make me docile, and help him keep me here.

Either way, all that hard work of getting clean, all those months in rehab, and going through withdrawals, have gone out the window, and I’m right back to where I was before I ever stepped foot in Casbury, North Carolina, and met Diego Cabano.

Weak,my mind hisses, but I ignore it. I no longer care.Yes, I’m weak; yes, I’m an addict and a whore.There is no pride left in me. I know what I’m capable of for a hit of oblivion. It’s not like I haven’t traded my self-respect and body before.

A handsome face filled with an expression of pain and loss fills my vision; he calls out to me, begging that I take back what I have done, who I am, and the crimes I committed against his love, but I can’t undo what I have done. As much as we crave absolution, one can never go back to the past. More of those memories try to rise within the confines of my mind, but I shut them down with a slam of a thick metal door. No, now is not the time to wallow or self-reflect; now is the time to ensure we get what we need. Oblivion, painless oblivion, is what we crave and would do anything for.

“Isabella, your bites are healing very well, and the rash is starting to subside with the antibiotics. How is the pain in your chest today?”

Raphael’s sympathetic chocolate eyes meet mine, and I see genuine concern in their depths.Fuck, can he tell how on edge I am? How much I need that hit of the drug he’s brought with him?

“Everything hurts. My chest feels tight and on fire. My body aches, I… I can’t sleep. The insect bites are still so painful.” I bite down on my lip and try to look at him demurely through my lashes as I stroke a finger across his hand, which is still holding on to my arm. I watch as his eyes trace my face and center on my lips, before flicking back up to meet my eyes. A slight pink blush crosses his cheekbones before he ducks his head, removes his hand, and swipes at the sweat on the side of his neck.

Gotcha.Santiago clears his throat loudly, dissolving the moment, and the sound has Raphael taking a step away from me.Fuck. I might have a chance if Santiago just left the room for a moment. One little moment is all I need, and he would be puttyin my hands, like all the other men before him with whom I have used the same tricks.

A chance to do what? To suck his cock on your knees like a drugged-out whore?My mind questions.Diego will kill him, and probably you, too. You do realize that, right?

“Let’s… ummm… check your… breathing, and then I can give you the antibiotic, which should help with your chest.”

“What about the pain? You’re going to give me something for the pain, aren’t you?” My voice sounds a little desperate even to my ears, and I observe as Raphael raises a dark eyebrow in concern.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I need to tone it down.

He’s staring at me more intensely now, his medically trained eye cataloging what he sees. Can he tell that I’m an addict? Can he sense that I need that hit of drugs more than I need my next breath? That if I had my way, I would take so much of the drug he has and never wake again. My body feels slick with sweat as I nervously fidget with my fingers, and sway back and forth on my feet.

I need it; I fucking need it. Just one hit… please, just one hit. Just so the pain can stop, so all the voices can stop. I need the silence, please.

My eyes keep traveling back towards the tray, even though I am trying desperately not to look in that direction, not to give myself away. Shit will be so much worse for me here if he stops giving me the pain meds. I won’t be able to handle it at all. Not the captivity, not the knowledge that my family has probably abandoned me, and that I’m only a hole for Diego to fuck when he feels like it. That none of it was real between us. I’m a prize that he wanted to win, and now he has, and he’s realized I’m actually worthless.

Raphael moves closer to me, his eyes trailing across my face as he brings his stethoscope up to my chest. “Breathe slowlythrough your nose, hold for a count of five, and then release the breath through your mouth, please.”

His body shields me from Santiago’s prying eyes as I do what he has requested, taking deep breaths in and holding them. “Isabella, we should stop the pain meds; you seem to be getting attached to them,” he whispers.

Panic seizes me at his words, and my breath falters.No!No, I can’t allow him to stop. Desperation fills me as I stare into his eyes. From this close of a distance, I can see the honey flecks in his pupils. “Please, no, it hurts. I can’t bear it. I can’t keep going. I… I’ll do anything you want… anything.”

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