Page 38 of Mated By Twilight

Knowing what it was almost made it worse. Like the sheer act of acknowledging the source allowed the emotion to sharpen into laser focus and target her.

It took entirely too long for Corvidair to come along and tell Biella that she had used up her time with the twins and she had to move on. He said it with a joking smile, but familiar, like he was used to having to convince her to leave.

Biella laughed, bemoaning how it didn’t seem like nearly enough time.

Leah had to fight the urge to run out and push her away. As it was, she couldn’t stop her hands from tightening against the curtain, like she might use the blue fabric as a springboard to rush out and do just that if she didn’tget away from them!

But she did get away, stepping back, waving bye to Tillos and Sollit. Smiling at them dreamily. Sighing when they turned their attention to the next person in line.

As Biella turned, she caught sight of Leah.

The two of them locked eyes. Leah froze. Like a deer in headlights, unable to move or breathe, Leah was unmoving as she looked into the shining golden eyes of this female that shared a species with her mates.

Yeah, that’s right.Hermates. They belonged to Leah, not Biella!

Biella cocked her head curiously, but she said nothing and eventually turned, walking into the crowd without looking back.

Leah watched her go and only once she lost sight of her amongst all the other fans did she finally relax. The jealousy hadn’t gone away though. It only weakened. She wanted her mates to come and comfort her, to tell her it was okay and that no avanava female, no matter how unfairly gorgeous, would ever take them from her.

But that was childish. And they were working. She could hardly demand their attention right now. Or ever, she thought, gnawing on her lip again. She was the one being unreasonable right now. Right? Everyone always said envy was irrational and petty. It was certainly something that had to be controlled, because she was definitely afraid of what that terrible emotion might make her do in an effort to sate it somehow.

But she couldn’t ruin their meet and greet. She could ask them about her later –calmly. That would be the adult, rational thing to do.

No matter how much she wanted to demand an explanation, before grabbing onto them both and refusing to let that other female close ever again.

Forcing herself to step back behind the curtain, she took some deep breaths to calm herself down before focusing back on her job. Because that was the mature, responsible thing to do. Only children indulged their emotions recklessly like she dearly wanted to do right now.

***

“Leah?”

“Is something wrong?”

“Huh?”

Looking up from her – blessedly normal, not worm – pasta, Leah focused on her dates. And a flash of guilt hit her when she realized that she didn’t know who had said what. Sollit and Tillos were both looking at her, concerned, their own meals forgotten. And she had been so wrapped up in her stupid jealousy, she’d completely zoned out of the conversation.

This restaurant was beautiful. They told her it was in the Holotulle style, which really just meant it was in a general style meant to appeal to all species. The menu was large and varied, but it had many items that she’d been interested in – that had neither worms nor bugs nor any other creepy crawlies. She wasn’t sure what this green sauce was on her pasta, but she couldn’t even taste it. Everything seemed to be turning to ash in her mouth.

She just couldn’t forget that avanava female, or stop comparing herself to her. Was this what body image issues felt like? Because she definitely hated this and was absolutely behind the abolishment of this gnawing self-discomfort. She wouldn’t call it hatred, just a sudden awareness that she might not beenough. And it was uncomfortable. Like a tiny pebble in her shoe. Nothing harmful to the point it would make her bleed or cause damage, but obnoxious and somehow able to steal the entirety of her attention for how minor a thing it really was.

“Leah?” It was Tillos who spoke this time, setting down his fork. “You look troubled. What is it?”

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, fixing a smile on her face.

“Leah,” Sollit chuckled, giving her a look. “Aevea, you’re a delightful singer, but you’re not a good actress. Something is bothering you. Tell-”

“Who’s Biella?!” Leah gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to shout it like that. It just came out. It evensoundedaccusatory.

She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. She was being unreasonable and childish, and they were going to tell her so. It wasn’t her place to question her males. She needed to trust in them completely and know that they would do the right thing. Besides, what was she even complaining for? She got two mates, but they couldn’t? That was sexist as well. And she was in the wrong for-

“Leah,” Sollit reached out, taking her wrists – the ones adorned with their bracelets – and pulling them away from her face. He looked so concerned by her action, but his touch was so nice, she leaned into it as Tillos cupped the back of her neck.

“Biella is nothing,” Tillos said firmly, no room for doubt in his voice. “She is a fan. That is all. You’ve nothing to be concerned about from her.”

“But you went on a date with her!”

“We did.”

---