Page 19 of Sunrise Malice

“That’s all? We’re done here?”

“Unless you have something else you need to discuss.”

There are a million things. Like where I’ll sleep, how we’ll live, what life will be like with him on a daily basis, a million other small issues crowding through my mind. I’m going to be this man’swife,and I barely know him at all.

“I guess not,” I say, feeling like a worthless moron. I hate this feeling; it’s like my father’s voice is echoing through my mind.You’re nothing. You’re nothing. You’re nothing.

Julien nods at me. “Then the next time I see you, we’ll make this official. I look forward to being your husband.”

“Yeah, you too,” I say, thrown off. He walks away and I watch him go, trying to find a way to make all this make sense in my head, but feeling like I’m losing control already, with no way to get my life back on track.

Chapter 8

Brianne

Ikeep thinking about that dinner. Even when my dad’s in a terrible mood the next day and is ordering me around all morning, I keep thinking about the way Julien kissed my cheeks, his laughter and his eyes drifting down to my chest, and that one single word,possessive.

It keeps ringing through my head.

That night, Kim picks me up and we head over to Bloody Strike. There’s a boxing match going on, but we post up at the bar and ignore the fight. The place is moderately crowded with Hayes Group members and the random associated civilians that enjoy coming in to watch a bunch of sweaty men illegally beat the shit out of each other. Bookies walk around, taking bets.

“I can’t believe you’re really going through with this,” Kim says, laughing as she tucks into her second glass of wine. I just got done telling her all about the dinner with Julien, and she seems genuinely shocked. “I mean, after the last time I saw him? I halfway expected you to castrate the poor idiot.”

“He’s an asshole, but that doesn’t really change anything, right? I’m not marrying him for his personality.”

Kim chews her lip. “Whyareyou marrying him then?”

I go quiet and try to think up a way to explain it without making her upset. But there’s no easy way to saymy dad is abusing me.

Except she knows that, doesn’t she? Everyone knows what my old man’s like. Maybe they don’t realize how bad it can get, but they know, the same way I know Kim’s mom is a total piece of work and her dad is basically nonexistent and her uncle once hit on her at a wedding. Everyone knows, but everyone’s got their own problems to figure out, and that leaves me grasping at bad options.

“You know the way things are right now. After what Cormac did, it’s like we’re diseased or something. I just want to fix what my brother broke.” Which is mostly true, but it doesn’t mention the ugly stuff. I’m tired of doing domestic labor for my lazy, uncaring father. I’m tired of the insults and I’m tired of the bruises. I’m sick of feeling like I’m not worth anything just because my alcoholic asshole parent looks at me like I’m a salt-covered slug.

“And you think marrying a guy just because Ronan wants you to will help?” Kim doesn’t sound like she thinks it’s a good idea.

“I think I have to do something.” I lean closer to her, feeling a wave of desperation. “I mean, what else do I have? Seriously, what else? I’m twenty-two and still a virgin. I’ve barely been on dates, barely had boyfriends, and what prospects do I have? At least this way, I know I’ll have a partner, and I can be a little bit useful.”

God, it’s so pathetic, saying it out loud.

“You’re not just… just… breeding stock.” Kim throws back her wine and turns to me, cheeks flushed. “You don’t have to marry a guy just to give yourself purpose. Seriously, there’s got to be a better way.”

Except there isn’t. Kim’s life is hard, but to her the world works in certain ways. She opens her eyes in the morning, and she knows what she’s doing with her day—that’s just the kind of person she is. Guys want her, and she’s happy and outgoing. Yeah, she didn’t go to college either, and her family’s about as fucked up as mine is, but that doesn’t seem to matter for her—she’s got the kind of personality that opens doors.

I’m not like that. It sucks and I hate it, but I can’t change how things are. I love Kim, but she’s not at rock bottom. Not like me.

“It’s not like he’s taking me away,” I say, mostly musing out loud. “He’s got roots in Chicago, right? Maybe we’ll take trips to France, which could be pretty fun, but overall, it’ll be normal. I’ll still be here.”

“You don’t even know the guy. He could be a controlling asshole.”

Possessiveis the word he’d use. I give her a reassuring smile. “I can handle it.”

“I don’t know.” She runs a finger along the base of her wine glass. “You hear things, right? Like how a guy seems decent at first but once you become his wife, it’s like suddenly all the abusive shit he’s been hiding comes out. Like he thinks he owns you.”

“Julien wants to marry me about as much as I want to marry him. He’s making that pretty clear.”

“I know, I know, it’s just that I worry about you.”

“I know you do. But this is a good thing, I promise.”

---