Page 61 of Fracture

“Girl, those people abandoned you to Gloria fucking Fenton. I called your aunt when Gloria landed you in the hospital, remember what she said?”

I swallow hard, and shake my head, even though I do. I can’t bring myself to say it.

“Your fucking aunt asked me what you’d donethis time.” Zee throws their fork on the table, and shakes their head, making their dreads dance around their shoulders. “You do not need those people, Stella. And if being with Levi and Dylan makes you happy, that’s good enough for me. And it will be good enough for anyone who actually gives a fuck about you.”

Unexpected tears sting my eyes, and I reach across to take Zee’s hand. “Thank you.”

“I love you, girl.” They pull me close and put a lithe arm around my shoulders. “I don’t care whose dick you get where, I just want you to be happy.”

I can’t help but laugh, and cover my face with my hands again. “Oh my god.”

“Now, how about we finish our drinks, you get yourself home, and put these poor fellas out of their misery?”

The house is lit up like a Christmas tree when the Uber pulls into the drive, as though Dylan and Levi were hoping to send up a beacon to light my way home. I tip the driver, and climb out of the car on feet that are still steady despite the two martinis.

I take a deep breath, and walk up the path to the front door as the car pulls away. Before I reach it, Levi tears the front door open, his face crumpling with relief.

“Thank god.” He rushes towards me, taking me in his arms. “Jesus Christ, we were so worried.”

I look over his shoulder to see Dylan at the door. He shakes his head, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m OK, I just needed a minute.”

“Come inside, my god. I thought I was going to lose my damn mind.” Levi drapes his arms around my shoulders and guides me into the house, past Dylan’s guilt-twisted face, and into the kitchen. He urges me to sit down at the table, fussing over me and bringing me water. But I get to my feet and head out onto the porch, needing fresh air, and something else.

“Do either of you have a cigarette?” I ask, and Dylan rushes forward, pulling an almost empty packet from the pocket of his jeans. I take the next to last cigarette and let him light it for me with a silver lighter, and he hurriedly lights the last one for himself.

“Sit down,” I say to them both, gesturing to the seats at the table, and taking a drag of the cigarette that makes my head spin unpleasantly. “I think we need to talk.”

They both sit down, backs unnaturally straight as though waiting for me to strike, or scream, or tell them how disgusting they are. I guess I looked exactly like this only an hour or so agowhen I sat opposite Zee and confessed all my secret desires to them, braced for judgment and misunderstanding.

“How many times?” I ask, casting my eyes to the table.

“Twice.” Dylan says it quickly, a clear confession. “Just twice.”

“Just nothing, Dylan.” I look over at him, and flick my cigarette into the ashtray. “Don’t diminish what happened, that’s not fair.”

His head drops, and he nods. “You’re right. Twice. It happened twice, and I’m sorry.”

I look at Levi, taking a long drag of my cigarette. “And did you tell him about us?”

Dylan’s head shoots up, and he looks from me to Levi with an expression of pure shock. “Tell me what?”

Levi can’t look at him, sighing heavily and reaching for the beer he’d placed on the table. “No, I hadn’t told him.”

“Looks like we all had secrets, huh?” I stub the half-spent cigarette out in the ashtray, hating the way it tastes and how it’s making my head spin, and fix Dylan with a stare. “I kissed him. The day after your grandfather died. And he told me he’d been in love with me for years, but couldn’t ever tell me before because he didn’t want to hurt you.”

Dylan looks over at Levi. whose eyes are still fixed on the table. “Is that true?”

Levi nods slowly, and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“No one is apologizing for anything here tonight.”

They both look at me, frowning.

“I mean it. If we sit here pouring out nothing but apologies and regret, we won’t get anywhere. Do either of you regret what happened between you?”

“Yes,” Dylan replies instantly, and Levi’s body language shifts, sitting up straighter.

---