Page 95 of Afflicted

She giggles. “What was your maker like?”

My fingers pause on the keyboard for a moment. “Margot? What do you mean?”

“Like, what was shelike? I mean, you loved her right?”

Love. There’s that word again. “Yeah. Of course I did.”

“So what did you love most about her?”

I keep typing for a moment as I think about Margot. I bring up the sensors that are out, testing the grid, remembering Margot’s fingers running down my back. Her hands tangled in my hair. The sweet smell of gardenias that clung to her clothes. The clothes I buried my face in just to hold on to her scent as I lay in our apartment, howling after she’d begged me to kill her.

“Is this hard to talk about?” Juliet’s voice is soft and hesitant.

“Sometimes.” I reboot the system, the countdown timer telling me it will take five minutes. I turn to Juliet, who’s leaning against the truck, regarding me sadly. “Margot was extraordinary. Strong, brutal, intelligent. She saw the world in a way, I don’t know. I’ve never seen someone see the world with so much passion. She saw opportunity everywhere, discovery in everything, you know?”

“Was she beautiful?”

The question makes me wince. “She was so beautiful it hurt. Long black hair, this white skin, it was like ivory. And for some reason, her eyes never went red. They were blue, like a sapphire. She was amazing.”

Juliet’s head drops, and she clasps her arms tighter around her. “And you had to kill her?”

I clench my eyes shut for a moment. “Yeah. One of the other vamps, he came stumbling in, said he’d been ambushed. I didn’t see the bite on his arm, I wasn’t paying attention. And he fell on Margot, just attacked her. By the time I got him off her, it was too late. He’d bitten her.”

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs.

“She begged me to kill her immediately. She didn’t want to suffer.” I clench my hands into fists, leaning back against the truck, staring at the ground. “But I refused. Said that maybe she was strong enough, that maybe she could survive it. I was selfish. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

“You’re not selfish,” Juliet says, looking over at me. “Killing someone you love, I mean, that would be a nightmare.”

“I let her suffer though, for days.” I swallow hard, misery clawing at the base of my throat. “I just… I couldn’t do it. Then her eyes started bleeding, blood pouring out of her. She was so thin, her cheeks were hollow. Her eyes were dull black.” The memory makes me shiver, sending icy rivulets down my spine. “She begged me, one last time. Said she couldn’t do it. Couldn’t live like that anymore. Told me to kill her, and be safe. That she loved me. And if I loved her, I’d do it.”

Juliet watches me silently, waiting for the rest of the story.

“So I… I killed her.” I can’t verbalize how I did it. I can’t talk about holding that beautiful head in my lap after I’d torn it from Margot’s body. How I hadn’t even been able to kiss her one last time, in case I became infected. How I’d sat with her, saying I’m sorry, I’m sorry, over and over.

Juliet shuffles closer and leans her head against my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

The wordbabysends me reeling. I put my arm around Juliet’s shoulder and tug her close to me.She’s too good for you. She’s too good for you. I try to shut that voice up, the dark specter that fights its way to the base of my skull. I’m not going to hurt her. I’m not going to ruin her.

I know I’m lying to myself.

The laptop blips as the timer ends, and the system alert pops up on the screen. I reluctantly release Juliet, who wanders across the field, gazing at the approaching storm. A breeze springs up as I check the system, finding two sensors that are still out.

“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter, slamming the laptop shut. “Come on, get in the truck, we need to drive.”

“Where to?” She pads back to the truck, her long legs flexing as she climbs in.

“There’s two sensors out and I need to see if they’re damaged, maybe something dug them up.” I gun the engine as the trees around us start to bend and sway in the wind. The sky is darkening, the sun beaming on the clouds making them appear almost black.

“That’s one helluva of a storm,” Juliet says. “Do you think we’ll make it back before it hits?”

“Of course.” I hope we do. Last thing I need is for this whole thing to be blown open because I was a fucking idiot and headed out with Juliet right in the middle of a superstorm. If we get locked out of the compound and they discover she’s missing, we’re fucked.I’mfucked.

As though she can sense what I’m thinking, Juliet reaches over and puts her hand over mine on the gear shift.

“You said that you’d get in trouble if they ever found out about us,” she says slowly, her fingers grazing over my skin. “What will they do to you?”

“You don’t need to know.” I raise her hand to my lips, keeping my eyes on the field ahead. “I don’t want you to worry about that.”

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