Page 83 of Afflicted

“Jules, it’s alright, I’ve got you.”

“I can’t - Ohgod,they’ll hurt you. They’ll hurt you because ofme.” Her head tips back and she gazes at me, her eyes filled with tears and pain. “I can’t be the reason you get hurt.”

“You wouldn’t be.” I shake my head emphatically, trying to talk her out of it, trying to stop that defeat that’s seeping into her eyes. “No, Jules, don’t. Don’t do this.”

“If we do this, they’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care!”

“I do!” Her eyes are torn wide, bloodshot and glistening. “I was so scared today, so fucking scared that something had happened to you, that they’d killed you. I can’t… I can’t be the reason for that. I can’t be the reason someone else dies.”

I hold her face in my hands, wanting to yank her into me and crush these words with my mouth. “No one died because of you, nobody, none of that was your fault.”

But it’s useless. She closes her eyes, tears pouring down her face, over her lips, and she shakes her head. She’s slipping away from me.

“Jules, Jules, listen to me,listen to me. Don’t do this. Please.”

She opens her eyes, and pulls me down to her. It happens so quickly, a mere split second, but she’s kissed me, pressing her salty lips to mine.

“I wanted it to be you,” she murmurs. “I really did. But I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t do this again.”

She pulls herself out of my arms and rushes out of the room. I’m so blindsided I let her go. Need flares in my blood, coursing through my arms. Her hands on my back, that was the tourniquet. Her lips on mine, that was the fucking needle.

I pound my fists into the wall, bellowing. Fuck this life. Fuck this place. Fuck this world that brought her to me when I couldn’t fucking have her. Fuck all the pain and sadness that’s threatening to take her away from me.

“No.”I growl it to the empty room. “No. No. Fucking NO.” My words are punctuated by more punches into the drywall.

I’m not letting her go.

Not now.

* * *

If I was obsessedwith her before, I’m a fucking criminal now.

I change shifts with other guards, playing an insane game of stalker hopscotch, moving across the compound so I can watch her wherever she is. The thought of anyone else watching her shower, seeing her skin, naked and wet, fills me with such blinding rage I smash my way through another four punching bags in two days. I’m barely keeping another episode of bloodlust at bay.

But I manage to have them all kept away from her. None of them care, none of them suspect my agenda. None of them know that she showers closer to the two-way mirror, as though she can sense I’m there. None of them know that I lean against that mirror and jack myself off, self-loathing coursing through me. I’m pathetic. I’m fucking gone for this girl.

But the scent of her skin is all I can smell. The brush of her lips is fucking branded on me forever. Sam gives me that knowing look every now and then, and she seems relieved that Juliet appears to be putting distance between the two of us. Sam thinks I’ll get over it. Like some little stupid crush.

She has no idea.

The darkest parts of me whisper to me in the deep of the night, telling me to just take her. To drag her off into a corner somewhere. To suck on that sweet clit, to make her come on my cock, to cover that pretty freckled face in my cum so she knows who she belongs to. So she knows she’s never saying no to me again. She’ll never say no to me when she’s come with my name falling from her lips.

I hate that part of myself.

No, when I’m finally inside her, it’s because she’s begging for me, because she can’t go one more second without me. Because she’s begging me to make her mine. And it won’t take much longer.

In the meantime, her eyes still look for me. They’re still filled with relief when they spot me. She knows I’m there. She wants me to watch over her. She needs me. My girl needs me so badly.

But I still need to attend to regular duties which take me away from her. Like another fucking supply run to Savannah. I consider asking to take her with me again, but after the National Guard stormed the compound, there’s no way they’ll let me take a human out.

So I spend the drive thinking far too hard and far too wide, trying to quantify and reason something that’s beyond understanding. I look over at the seat beside me, and I see her blonde hair whipping around her face, I hear her laugh. I grip the steering wheel, thinking of her standing naked in front of me.Fuck, she wanted me. On my bed, she wanted me. If the attack hadn’t happened, I’d have had her.

I groan as I think of the look on her sweet face as she ground herself against me.Dirty girl. She looks like an angel but holy shit, I can feel that there’s something filthy and sinful hiding behind those grey eyes. She’s begging to be unlocked and torn open.

I blast myself with cold air as I approach Savannah, because the last thing I need is to meet my colleagues with a bulging erection. By the time I wave to the gate guards, I’ve calmed down suitably. Discussing medical supplies is about as unsexy as it gets anyway.

---