Page 147 of Afflicted

I get to my feet too, rounding the fire to grab her shoulders. “Now listen to me-”

Her hand strikes me across the cheek. “No! I’m done listening to you vamps, to you fuckingmenwho think you know better and don’t ask me whatI want.”

I want to fucking shake some sense into her. “I haveneverdone anything you didn’t want, ever.”

“Except dump me with some strangers without eventalking to me!” A tear races down her cheek, and she pounds a fist into my chest. “You swore to me, you promised me that you’d never leave me! You said you’d die without me!”

“I wanted you to be safe! Christ, Juliet, what do you think I did after I left you there?”

“I don’t fucking care!” She pushes out of my arms, dislodging my grip enough for her to get a few feet before I reclaim her and push her back against the rickety wall. “Let me go!”

“Do you think I left you?”

“You did leave me!” She starts to cry, turning her face away from me. “You left me and I didn’t even… I couldn’t even…” A choked sob steals her words, and she squeezes her eyes shut. “You left me, and I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I didn’t leave you.” I hold the side of her face, forcing her to turn her head, but her eyes stay firmly closed. “Fucking hell, angel, I was lost. I was a fucking wreck. I circled that colony all night, I didn’t fucking know where to go. You were all I could think about.”

Her eyes open slowly, more tears sliding down her face. She raises a tentative hand to my face. “You did?”

“Fuck,” I breathe, clutching her hand to my mouth for a second. “Yes. My god, you’re everything, angel. And then when I heard those men, when I smelled you on the breeze and knew you were in trouble. I was so scared I wouldn’t make it to you in time.”

She sniffs, her mouth turning down into a frown. “I was doing fine.” She pushes against my chest. “I can look after myself.”

I slam a fist into the wall beside her. “God fuckingdammit,you’re a nightmare.”

“You left me!” Furious tears race down her cheeks. “You didn’t ask me, you didn’t talk to me, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you, and you just left me there with people I didn’t even know! Thatyoudidn’t even know!”

“You would have been safe there!”

She shoves against my chest with open hands. “How the fuck do you know?”

“Because you were away from me!”

Her eyes widen, and she sucks in a breath. My shoulders are heaving, and a scalding hot tear runs down my own cheek. I swallow hard under her gaze, and wipe the tear away with my thumb.

“Why - why would you say that?” She hiccups a little, her residual sobs dissolving as she eyes me with confusion. “Why would you say something like that?”

“I’m not safe, I never have been.” The words taste bitter in my mouth. “I’ve never been able t-to keep anyone safe. I knew that when I got you out of Georgia. I hoped… I hoped I’d be able to stay with you, but-”

“Is this about Margot?” Juliet raises her hands to cup my face. “Silas, I’m not her.”

I push her hands away, suddenly unable to bear her touch, misery and sorrow crashing down on me. “It’s not just that.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t fucking know!” I rake my hands through my hair. “I’m - I told you, I’m not good. And sooner or later, I’d have done something, I’d have fucked this up, I’d have stumbled and not watched you, and not kept you safe, and I would have ruined you.”

Juliet blinks at me, shaking her head. “Where is this coming from? Who told you this?”

My shoulders sag. “It doesn’t matter.”

She moves against me, fingers cradling my jaw. “I told that woman at the colony, and I’m going to tell you now - I don’t care if I die.”

“Juliet, you don’t understand.”

“No, listen to me. I don’t care. Because I don’t want to live an entire lifetime away from you. I didn’t care about anything until you. I stopped, years ago.”

I laugh bitterly. “Not even Matt?”

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