Page 140 of Afflicted

I cradle her face in my hands, hating myself for the trembling I can feel reverberating through her. “I have to keep you safe. And I can’t keep you safe out here, not alone. And this might kill me, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing I didn’t do whatever I had to do to make sure you live.”

She slumps against me, wailing with grief. Time seems to slow down for a moment, as I hold Juliet in my arms. I don’t even feel sorrow, I just feel empty. I know this has to be done, just like when I had to let go of Margot. I know I have to do what’s best for her, even though it’s leaving me hollow.

“Silas,” she murmurs, grasping onto my shirt. “Please, don’t do this.”

“I’ll find you, angel.” I tip back her head, kissing those rosy lips, awash with salt tears. “I told you, I’ll always find you. And one day, when the world’s back to normal, I’ll find you again. I promise.”

An alarm starts to blip over us, and Sutton and the men tense visibly.

“There’s Afflicted approaching,” Sutton says, extending a hand. “Come on now, we have to get you inside.”

“No!” Juliet holds on to me. “I’m not leaving you!”

“Jules.” I pull her arms away from me. “You need to go. Now.”

“Turn me!” Her eyes are wild, her hair sticking to the sweat beading on her face. “Turn me, and take me with you!”

I shake my head. “I’m not doing that now, not like this.” I meet Sutton’s eyes, and give her a nod. “Goodbye, angel.”

“We need to close this gate now.” Sutton gestures to one of the men. “Take her inside.”

“No!” Juliet screams, her hands slipping away from me as one of the men takes her from me, holding her tightly and carrying her inside the gate as she continues to scream for me. “Silas! Silas! No! No! Please!”

Sutton gives me one last curt nod, before following them in. The gate rolls shut, and with a loud thud it slams home. Chains jangle as the gate is locked down, the blipping siren above falling silent as a voice announces “Lockdown is in place.”

I stare at the gate for a long time. I should go, I should move, I need to get out of here before any Afflicted cross my path. But the loss is so great I just stand there, staring. My hands are cold. I’ll never touch her again.

I finally climb back into the truck, gunning the engine and just staring at the dash, wondering where the fuck I even go. I can’t go back to Georgia. I can’t go to Boston, they’ll have spread my face across the network and everyone will know to be looking for me.

Maybe I should let the Afflicted bite me. Is there any point in going on now?

I squeeze my eyes shut. There is a point. I told her I’d find her one day. And I have to keep that promise.

I pull away from the colony, watching it slip away in the rear view.

I’ll find you again one day. I promise.

CHAPTER36

JULIET

It’s sunny.Why the fuck is it sunny? I stare blankly at the light that beats in through the window. My hair smells like green apples. They have hot running water here. I had a shower last night, and now I’m sitting here in new clothes, the first pair of jeans I’ve worn in years, and my hair smelling of green apples, but all I can think about is how bad my throat hurts.

I screamed for so long after they took me away from Silas that I started coughing up blood. They ended up giving me a shot to try and calm me down, some kind of sedative. That triggered an episode of PTSD so violent that I threw up until there was nothing but bile coming out of me. I wanted to die. All I wanted was to die.

But then finally, whatever they gave me worked, and I calmed down enough to have a shower, and lie down in a warm bed they assigned me. In a private room. The first time I’d slept alone for over five years.

I stared at the moonlight and listened to my breathing, my single heartbeat. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Silas’s face as they dragged me away. It all happened so fast. One second I was relieved we were safe, the next…

Now it’s the morning, and I’m sitting on a hard gurney, my arms wrapped around me. A woman sits in a chair next to me, I guess she’s a doctor or something, and she asks me questions that I can only answer with a nod or a shake of my head. Because my throat hurts so bad that I can barely speak.

My vision keeps clouding as fresh tears mist my eyes. Every time the realization that he’s gone, that he’sgone, weighs down on me, I’m flooded with despair so deep I think it’s going to kill me.

I kind of hope it does.

The woman stops asking me questions, and reaches out to put a tentative hand on my arm. “Are you OK, sweetie?”

“No.” I choke out the word through my throat, which feels like it’s lined with broken glass. “I’m not.”

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