Page 118 of Relentless Sinner

He looks back at me, surprised.

“I've arranged for the Creed guards to stay with you for as long as we need them to.” I give him additional assurance.

“You did that?”

“Yes.”

He loosens his grip on the picture and stares back at me with that guilt and sadness I saw in him on the day I became Pakhan.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“It’s okay. Do you want me to help you get back to bed?”

He nods slowly. I get up and move behind the wheelchair. He glances up at me as I push it then looks back ahead of us. This is the first time he's allowed me to do this.

We take the elevator up to the second floor, where his room is. I help him to get into his bed, but he refuses to part with the picture of my mother.

He lies in the bed, resting on the stack of pillows, holding it next to his heart. He stares at me as I pull up a chair and sit opposite the bed.

“This is where you were born,” he mutters.

“I know. My mother insisted on having a home birth.”

“It wouldn't have made a difference if she'd gone to the hospital, you know? She would have still died. I think she wanted to be here because she knew what was going to happen. She knew she wasn't going to make it and wanted to die at home. I still tried to play God and stop her from dying.”

This is becoming a regular thing with him now where he suddenly starts talking about my mother. He’s been giving me bits and pieces of information that make her more real to me.

“What did you do?”

“I got a team of doctors. Everybody who could help her was here. There was a moment when I thought she’d be okay.”

“How?” I thought she died giving birth to me.

“When you were born, she was still alive, and I had hope. I thought my preparation plans worked.” He speaks in a tone of deep reverence that pulls on my heart. “I cut your cord, and she wanted to hold you, so I gave you to her. She sang to you:welcome, sweet angel, you’re homewith me,you’re home with us. It was a song she made up. She sang it to you every day while she was carrying you in her belly. She loved you so much. When you were born, she got to see you, hold you, sing to you, and be your mother for two minutes. Then she died.”

My heart weeps at hearing the story I’ve never been told. I guess no one ever told me because it wasn’t their story to tell. It was my father’s.

My birthday was never really celebrated in our home because it was my mother’s death date.

Looking at my father now, I understand. Nothing makes how I was treated right, but I understand him. He’s still grieving.

He still loves my mother and always will. Maybe I had to experience love to know how he felt to lose it forever.

My father is the second person who I’ve watched fall asleep tonight.

As I no longer feel tired, I don’t sleep. I stay up and think.

Everything that’s happening doesn’t add up. There are too many moving parts. It’s like watching a horror movie and thinking the villain is a superhuman before you realize there’s more than one person.

The fucked-up thing about my situation is I know about Damien and Salvatore. But they have their own agendas.

I’m in charge now, so I need to stop pussyfooting around and lay down the law.

Gabriella and I are supposed to be going away for a few days. I want to take her away from this and give us the break we deserve. I’ll set things up here so the Creed guards can stay until we return.

A powerful man like me is supposed to make anything he wants possible. Even something as simple as a break for what should be our honeymoon.

I put the idea in motion a few hours later when I spot Levka walking into the dining room. He nearly shits himself when he notices the Creed guards in the house.

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