Page 5 of Deja Brew

Their presence is oddly comforting. It shouldn’t be. Who knows what will happen to me if they decide to get too close? Just because they’re comforting now doesn’t mean they’re actually kind. I haven’t figured out if it’s a man or a woman. I’m pretty sure it’s a guy, but that’s based purely on how heavy their shoes sound.

“I know it’s not safe, but I can’t explain it. I don’t feel scared when he’s there. Walking to work in the dark… I feel better when I can feel him,” I admit.

“That’s not—it shouldn’t make you feel safe. It’s a false sense of security. You don’t know anything about him. What happened this morning?”

“Nothing different. He followed me and waited across the street until Gem showed up.” I never look too closely and he always keeps his head down.

“Nothing else happened?”

I shake my head. “It’s almost as if he’s…protecting me.” I talk over Ella. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but he only ever follows me to make sure I get here safely and sometimes home.”

“What! Home?”

I cringe. Guess I didn’t tell her. “Barely ever. I only got the feeling once.”

“But you’ve never seen him there?”

“No.” Probably shouldn’t tell her it disappoints me. Maybe I should talk to him? My lips turn downwards. That sounds like a terrible idea, even to me.

An alarm goes off on Ella’s phone, and she silences it. “I need to get back to work.” She sends me a concerned glare. “Text me when you get home and for the love of god, don’t talk to him.”

“I won’t,” I promise.

She walks out the door and across the street. Before she enters her store, she locks eyes with me and makes an ‘I’m watching you gesture.’

I roll my eyes and flinch when a door slams. At least I got to see Leo today.

My shoes click on the footpath as I walk home. The afternoon sunlight is weak as it attempts to penetrate the clouds, but it’s a welcome sight after the hail. Puddles litter the concrete and water splashes the back of my jeans, but it doesn’t matter because I’ve finally finished my shift and there are pyjamas and food waiting for me at home.

He’s not following me home.

It’s not a bad thing.It isn’t.Surely it’s good no one’s following me? My chest shouldn’t feel heavy, like I’m missing something.

A car drives by, but I barely look at it. I need to stop scanning the faces of everyone as I walk past, trying to decide if maybe it’s him in the denim jacket, or her in the grey coat. It’s not either of them. How, I don’t know, but I’ve already decided I’m delusional, so what’s the harm in looking for this mysterious person?

A drop of rain splatters on my nose, and I frown at the darkening clouds. Rain is one of my favourite things when I’m in bed snug and warm and don’t have to leave the house. Rain when I’m outside without an umbrella is not my ideal situation.

I forget trying to recognise someone I don’t know and stride down the street to my flat. The door slams behind me and I sigh, out of the threatening drizzle and in my warm flat my shouldersdrop. Hanging my coat on the rack by the door, I sing out, “Cas, where are you? Where’s my pretty baby?”

I swap my shoes for slippers and walk deeper into the flat. There he is, curled up on the couch ignoring me. “Caspian, are you feeling better?” He pokes his head up, huffs at me, and tucks himself back up. “At least you’re acting normal.”

Leaving him to mind his own business, I enter my room and change into soft loungewear. If it was acceptable to wear everywhere, I would.

I remove the pins from my hair, chuck them on my dressing table, and undo the braids to massage my scalp.

Most days I do something different with my hair, but that many bobby pins stabbing my scalp is not fun.

Leo stares at my hair a lot. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or a judgy thing. He hasn’t commented on my hair before, so it can’t be too bad. His dark chocolate hair is rich and luscious with thick waves throughout, something you want to thrust your hands through and grip. Or fiddle with gently while sitting beside each other on the couch watching TV before drifting off to sleep.

If Ella knew my daydreams were about Leo sitting on the couch beside me, she’d laugh. And then help me choose what to watch.

There are multiple reasons why I haven’t asked him out yet. One being he delivers a lot of my stuff to the café, and I really don’t want to change delivery companies. Another is because I can’t get a read on him. No idea if he’s interested in me, and I don’t want to make it awkward if he turns me down but continues delivering to me. Making him uncomfortable is the last thing I want.

There is also the issue of my new…friend. I doubt anyone would be pleased with that, especially since I’m not doing anything about it. Maybe it’s best if I wait a little longer toask him out. Could make a pact with Ella that when her businessman shows up for a new piercing, we’ll both take the leap.

Or I could pretend everything’s fine and carry on as normal. Unhealthy, but also the easiest route.

Rain taps on the window, and I glance at the street. Who says I need to make the decision now? I turn away from the window but jerk back when I notice someone turning their back and walking down the street.

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