Page 20 of Deja Brew

“Let me take your coat.” I hold my hand out for it to hang on the hook beside mine, and breeze past him, hoping he follows me deeper into the flat.

Butterflies flit around in my stomach. I shouldn’t be nervous about having him here, but it’s odd to see him in my space. To see him glance around the lounge and the photos on the wall. Strange having him here when I know he’s seen through the windows.

“Is this Caspian?”

His question jolts me out of my thoughts, and I find him sitting on the ground in front of the couch, head tilted as he watches my cat, who ignores him.

“That’s Cas. Sleeps the day away and not much else.”

“Does he tolerate pats?” Leo asks, eyes not moving from Cas who doesn’t look at him. Clearly, he doesn’t find Leo threatening.

“Sometimes. Depends on his mood.” I sit beside Leo on the floor, and my knee brushes his thigh. “You can try.”

His hand inches towards Cas, not rushing, but giving Cas time to notice and pass judgment. Cas opens his eyes as Leo’s about to brush his fur, his eyes narrow and he darts upright and saunters away, flicking his tail in the air as he leaves the room. Leo’s hand drops to the couch, and he shoots me an embarrassed smile.

“He’s a cat. I wouldn’t worry about him. Not yet, at least.”

“Not yet?”

“If you’re here more often, I don’t want you to hate each other.”

“I’m gonna be here more often?” He shifts his body to face mine, his lip curling up.

I clear my throat. “I mean, maybe. Sure, you might be here more if we’re—do you want coffee? I should make coffee.” I stumble upright and spin to the kitchen, and away from Leo to hide my burning cheeks. Why am I like this? I couldn’t be calm and collected, no I had to put my foot in my mouth and make assumptions about us.

He doesn’t follow me to the kitchen, probably sensing my overthinking and need to gather myself. Unless he doesn’t want to be here. But if he didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t have waited outside for me to arrive home.

I dump milk in the pressed coffee and stir aggressively, and ignore the spoon clinking against the mug. It won’t be the nicest cup of coffee, but at least the vigorous stirring got some of my anxiety out. When I enter the lounge, he’s still on the floor, leaning against the couch. He looks relaxed in my space in his black socks and cream long-sleeve T-shirt. I don’t know why I fixate on his socks. It makes everything more vulnerable—more real—to see him without shoes, curled up on my floor as he watches me come towards him holding coffee.

He takes the cup from me, and I sit beside him on the floor. “How was work?” he asks.

I take a fortifying sip of coffee and brace myself for honesty, to be clear, and not worry about saying the wrong thing. I shrug to conceal my nerves. “I was waiting for it to finish so I could see you.”

His eyes snap to mine. “Really?”

“Yeah. After this morning…” My eyes flick to his hand. “It felt weird to leave you after that. Felt wrong, and I wanted to be close to you.”

He cups my cheek briefly. “I feel the same way.”

We gulp coffee and sneak glances at each other.

Leo breaks the silence. “Lily, what you said about me being here more, I want you to know I’m glad I’m here. I’ll leave if youwant, but I love being beside you, talking and spending time with you. I’m not expecting anything but…” He breathes deeply and threads our hands together. “I want us to be together. To spend more time with each other and stay at each other’s homes. I want that with you.”

Setting my cup to the side and ignoring my shaking hands, I turn and snag his cup as well to get it out of the way. When I turn back, I launch myself at him and press our lips together firmly despite Leo’s grunt of surprise. It doesn’t take him long to fall into the kiss, becoming as aggressive and desperate as me. My hands tangle in his hair, and his arm clutches my waist while we devour each other and it’s like coming home.

Being surrounded by him is home.

It’s the strangest feeling. Thinking a person is home rather than a place. Having him in my space is calming. Having him suck my bottom lip inside his mouth makes it even better. I pull away, gasping for breath, and laugh at the expression on his face. Bewilderment mixed with disbelief colours it, and I can’t help but kiss him again.

I sit back, satisfied, and notice the shopping bag beside him. I’d forgotten about it in the excitement of seeing him. “What’s the bag for?” I ask, tugging it closer to me. My brow raises at the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, fruit…and condoms

Leo clears his throat. “I thought we’d have some fun. Doing…things. Only if you want to though,” he rushes to say.

“Doing things. What an interesting idea.” My eyes scan his body, focusing on his jean-covered lap before they lock on his blushing face. “And what did you want to try?”

“Anything. We don’t have to use it.”

After chucking the condoms on the table beside the couch, I take the whipped cream out of the bag and shake it. “I’d never usually eat this when real cream exists, but for you, I will.”

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