Page 102 of Fallen Stars

His brow furrows as he crosses his arms and hugs himself.

When I pictured our reunion, it was unclear. Regardless, I never imagined I’d feel so…dejected. I never envisioned him embracing his parents and not me. It’s a selfish conclusion but one based on our history.

Now that Levi is safe, he needs to heal. And maybe the initial stages of healing don’t include me in his life. As much as that hurts, I need to set aside my own desires and let Levi recover in his own ways and time.

My lips curve into a lifeless smile as I lift a hand, wave, then turn on my heel. “See ya.” The impersonal farewell shreds my heart and rips apart my soul.

Ifeelhis eyes on me until I disappear from view, keeping my gaze forward. I disregard his obvious confusion and choose not to respond to it.

One heavy foot in front of the other, I leave him with his parents and let him decide his future.

Below deck on the boat, I find a vacant corner and press my back to the wall. Sliding down until my ass hits the floor, I draw my legs up and hug them, drop my chin to my chest, and let my tears flow freely.

Time passes in endless footfalls and whispered words.

Law enforcement remains on the island to make arrests and free hundreds of missing people.

Those of us who came for Levi are on a separate boat and preparing to leave this hellscape.

Relief washes over me that we found them. But I’m far from happy.

As the boat picks up speed, Tymber rests a hand on my back. “Give him time, Ollie. He’ll come back to you.”

I pray he’s right.

September 4th

We found him and brought him home. He’s safe now. But he’s not with me. I know it’s shitty of me to be selfish right now, to want him in my arms, my space, at my side, but I can’t fucking help it. I missed him so fucking much. I felt incomplete without him. Cold. Faulty. Lifeless.

He chose to embrace his parents. I hate that he picked them over me, but I also understand. They’re his family. I’m just me. Either way, my heart fucking hurts.

I’ll never forget the fear on his face when I entered that tiny-ass room and got close to him. The way he shot back in terror. It was in complete opposition to his reaction at seeing his mom. He bolted to her and hugged her with a bruising embrace. He hugged his mom as if she was all he needed.

I was lucky I got to hold his hand.

I realize I’m a fucking asshole for feeling jealous. It’s ludicrous of me to want him all to myself after he’sexperienced the worst trauma of his life. I was delusional to think he’d come back to my apartment and life would slowly drift back to normal.

Doesn’t mean it isn’t what I wanted. For sixty days, all I’ve wanted is him by my side again. Safe. If I’m lucky, after a while, maybe those wishes will come true. I need them to come true.

Come back to me, L.

I love you.

I need you.

I don’t want a life without you.

TWENTY-NINE

LEVI

I’ve gonefrom one prison to another.

Every breath I take, every word I say, every sip of drink and bite of food I swallow… all of it is scrutinized with pensive looks, phony smiles, and subtle tilts of the head.

If I stay in my room for too many hours of the day, my parents whisper about me wanting isolation or confinement. If I leave my room and spend most of the day sitting on a bench alone in the garden, they question in hushed tones if me wandering alone outside is okay this soon after my abduction.

Every aspect of my life is now dissected into micro-moments. Every action—or lack thereof—starts a mumbled debate between my parents.

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