Page 47 of Fallen Stars

K

Movie night tonight. My place. Dinner on me.

I tap the heart reaction and type out my own response as others pop up in the group chat.

Sky

I’m on snack duty. What time?

Dee Dee

I’ve got drinks. Just us 4??

Someone’s a bit demanding. Side effects of my favorite hot officer ??

Kirsten play-slaps my arm. “You’re ridiculous, Ollie.” Her fingers fly across the screen again.

K

6-6:30 and us 4 only

The backs of my eyes sting as I stare down at the screen. Kirsten didn’t indicatewhytonight is the core group only. But since the three of them are in romantic relationships now, we usually only have these types of get-togethers when one of us needs extra support or advice.

And this round, it’s me in the hot seat.

Halfway into my third slice of pizza, Kirsten changes the entire tone of the evening with a single word.

“Alright, Ollie. Spill.”

Since our teens, the four of us have been close.

With our unique differences, we were labeled as too eccentric, goofy or reticent by our peers. We weren’t outcasts in school per se. Just comfortable in our individualism. And because of that, we easily gravitated toward each other. Not all at once, but in separate friendships that came together in time. And since my, Kirsten’s, and Skylar’s freshman year and Delilah’s junior year, we’ve been this close-knit quartet.

There is beauty in knowing someone for years. A comfort. A feeling of kinship. But with it comes them knowing when you are out of sorts. In most situations, it’s nice to have friends you can gush about life with. But when you’re hurting, when youharbor secrets that aren’t yours to tell, it makes sharing more of a challenge.

“Not sure I can.”

Kirsten narrows her eyes, Skylar tilts her head, and Delilah gives a knowing, sympathetic smile.

Hand over her mouth while she chews, Skylar mumbles, “So confused. What does that even mean?”

It means exactly what I said, I want to say but keep to myself.

Levi hasn’t told menotto tell anyone about us. But he hasn’t said it’s okay to do so either. Add in the facts that the town believes he’s dating Abigail and everything we do is in dark, secluded places, I’m assuming there are to be no shared details of our relationship.

Will Levi fault me for seeking advice from my friends? I don’t think so. He knows they’d keep quiet if I asked them to.

I toss my slice of pizza down and wipe my hands with a napkin. “It means I hate secrets. It means I haven’t been told to keep one, but it’s insinuated by the situation.” Sinking into the couch, I tip my head back and stare at the vaulted ceiling. “It means I want to tell you, but would possibly break someone’s trust in the process.”

A hand rests on my knee a moment before delivering a gentle squeeze. “Whether you share or not, we’re here, Ollie,” Delilah says with a gentle, compassionate tone.

If anyone gets where my head is at, it’s Delilah. Her love story and mine aren’t too far apart. Unrequited love is a bitch, especially when you’re gay or lesbian and you’re unsure the person you like will reciprocate your feelings.

“Thanks, Dee Dee.” I rest my hand on hers and return her reassuring grip. “Right now, all I need is my friends.”

Food set aside, they climb onto the couch and swarm me. Wrap me in awkward hugs and tickle my sides. Press sloppy kisses on my cheeks and ruffle my hair.

The movie plays as we huddle on the couch and comfort each other. I may not have opened up to them, I may not have told them the one thing I’ve dreamed about for years has finally happened, but it doesn’t matter. All they know is I need them, and they’ve come to the rescue. They saw me hurting and surrounded me with warmth and love without hesitation.

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