Page 34 of Fallen Stars

I flail my arms and kick my feet but barely make contact. The weight of the chains keeps me from truly gaining any sort of momentum. Yet, still, I fight. I kick. I scream. I try to knee him between the legs.

The entire time, he laughs.

Then he fists my hair, yanks my head back, and looks me over. His extensive perusal of my face twists my stomach in unnatural ways.

“It’s not often we get pretty ones like you,” he says in the robotic voice.

He leans in close and the scent of cinnamon pierces my nose. It throws me off. Muddles my thinking. And then he drags his tongue up my cheek from my jaw to my eye.

Vomit hits the back of my throat a second before I drop onto the floor and my hip screams from the landing. I puke on the floor, on myself, in my hair.

Laughing, the man steps out of the room then tosses a bottle of water. It hits my head with athwack,followed by a handful of loose crackers.

“Keep your strength up, Two Sixty-Three. Gonna need it.”

The door slams shut, and once again, I’m blanketed in darkness.

NINE

OLIVER

For the first time,I don’t know how to respond to Levi. As if him kissing me short-circuited or rewired my brain.

Perhaps it did.

Years and years of fantasies, of daydreams, of imagining me and Levi as something other than friends. So much more than friends. Those small figments of my imagination, those made-up scenarios of him and me and the life I pictured us living if we took that next step. For years, those minor glimpses and what-ifs gave me hope. A glimmer of sunshine in the lonely moments.

But part of me never expected them to be anything other than what they were. Fantasies.

Then, he kissed me andpoof. Peace out, coherent thought processes. Au revoir, rational mind. Sayonara, mental comprehension, knowing how to act or what to say.

It’s been three and a half days since he mutteredfuck itand took me by surprise. Approximately eighty-five hours since he pinned me against my car and claimed my mouth. And close to thirty-six hours since he sent a text and said he wants to hang before the Memorial Day festival.

And because I am now incapable of thinking clearly when it comes to Levi, his text remains unanswered.

Ignoring him after the kiss twists my insides. Makes me jittery. Ignoring him feels wrong on so many fucking levels. The polar opposite of what I’d do in normal circumstances. With each passing day, my silence undoubtedly comes across as rejection. A slap to the face. As if I didn’t want him to kiss me. As if I never want to see him again.

But that is the farthest thing from the truth.

I want to kiss him.A lot. I want him to kiss me. God, do I fucking want that. His lips and tongue and hands on my skin. His warmth, his taste, his scent overwhelming my senses.

But my brain hasn’t figured out how to connect the damn dots. Not in the correct order. It refuses to blend years of fantasies with reality. Refuses to believe it happened. Instead, my mind works overtime. Steals my sleep as I lie awake at night and overanalyze every minute Levi and I have spent together the past few years.

Hopes and suspicions were all I had throughout the years. Now… I don’t know what it is that I have. An insignificant taste of whatcouldbe.

I rip the comforter away from my body, throw my legs off the bed, sit up, and fist my hair.

“Text him later. After practice,” I mutter to myself.

After a quick shower, I dress and exit my apartment over the garage. I punch in the code on the door beneath the stairs and enter the mudroom between the dining room and garage. Kick off my shoes and stow them beneath the bench.

A notable grumble sounds from my stomach as the scent of fresh bread, seasoned meat, corn, and cheese hit my nose. When I reach the kitchen and see my parents working in harmony on a late breakfast, my stomach gnaws at my insides.

“Smells good.” I sidle up to Mama and kiss her cheek. “Anything I can help with?”

“Good morning, dušo.” Her gaze sweeps over my face a beat before the corners of her mouth turn down. “You need better sleep.” She wipes her hands on a towel and cups my cheeks. The soft pads of her thumbs stroke slowly as her green eyes hold mine. “Too many late nights and early mornings are catching up.”

I lean into her touch, her warmth, and rest my hands over hers. “Just a lot on my mind right now.” I drop my hands and step into her, wrapping her in a hug. “After the festival, I’ll catch up on sleep.”

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