Page 149 of Chaos

Life simply isn’t organized, and you can’t tie it up in a safe, pretty bow.

The one thing we can do is make the absolute most of every second we have.

And to me, that means being with Yorke and this family we grew.

He’ll get there.

It’s just hard for him because he didn’t start out with a family like I did, and he never had anyone that he trusted.

But he will learn that sacrifice goes both ways.

So I let him stew as we fill plates with food and sit down with Wendell and Jacquetta while they go over wall fortifications.

Renata, who I’ve been avoiding looking at since I first saw her back here, sits down beside me, Charlotte Rose’s cherubic face resting asleep on her shoulder.

I was prepared to feel a lot of emotions at the sight of her, but the biggest one is frustration. She’s like a cat, always landing on her feet with a slippery story to explain herself.

In the cellar, she was always a step ahead. I hate that.

“Frankie. How is pregnancy treating you?”

“Shut up.” I lean in so no one will possibly hear, “I know a secret about you.”

“Funny,” she says archly and pushes her hair behind her ear. It’s clean now, not greasy like it was in the cellar, and it’sstyled. And her clothes are expensive again. Wherever she shops now after the plague, it’s good quality fabric, with good quality stitching, and the fit suits her. Whatever her situation has been in DC, it’s well provisioned. She’s wearing a pair of navy trousers and a soft cashmere sweater with a cow neck. Gold studs sparkle on her ears. “I know a secret about you, too. You go first.”

“Ben once told Yorke that reputation mattered in this world more than ever. He agreed with that, and so do I. We are only as good as our promise to keep our word. And you didn’t.”

A tiny puff of erupts from her lips. “When exactly did I not keep my word? I explained what happened outside of the gym with Ben. That was beyond my control, and I took action to rectify it as quickly as possible. I got you out of that basement, Frankie. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be back there, smelling like the inside of your own asshole.”

My cheeks flame, and Yorke, even though he’s looking away, slips his hand out and squeezes my thigh reassuringly.

“You promised never to harm my family.” It was the last time I’ll ever believe her.

“And I haven’t.” Her ring-covered fingers leave off stroking Charlotte Rose’s back to flutter around the room. “I see your boy. I even see that other almost man you seem to care about, having collected Ephie. That’s short for Euphemia. Did you know? Such a pretty name. And don’t forget that dog you call Beast.”

“Yorke has been conscripted by Lavinia Hope.”

“Ah, I never did say anything about Yorke, did I.”

“He’s my family.”

“No, he’s aman, Frankie. And after you have your baby, and your tits sag, and you’re cranky one too many times after going five days without sleep, you’ll find him gazing with longing at another woman. Trust me. They’re all the same.”

I can’t help but wrinkle my nose, both at the idea of Yorke gazing at anyone else and at her assessment of men.

It did reveal something about her, though. Many somethings.

She leans closer to me. “Aren’t you going to ask me for the secret I know about you?”

I set my fork down, no longer particularly hungry, and not entirely confident that I won’t use it to stab her in the thigh. “What?”

She trails her tongue across the front of her teeth, leans just another inch closer so her lips almost touch my ear and whispers, “You poisoned Ben. Mitsy’s telling the truth.”

“False.” I fake a yawn.

Mitsy can tell anyone who will listen as many times as she wants that I poisoned Ben. It doesn’t matter. The prison cells were under the clocktower and the poison is in the greenhouse, except for the box she stole.

The cells are a pile of rubble, his tray of food along with it, he’s dead. And the poison in her purse only proves that Cain is probably right, she was poisoning him.

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