Page 142 of Chaos

Suddenly, I want more than anything to go ask Frankie the same question. I don’t have a ring, but I’m sure I can find one. I’ve never cared much about the name Garrett before, couldn’t tell you anything about where it came from beyond my mom had the same last name—but suddenly I want a name for the baby and Frankie and me. Auden and Shane too if they’ll have it. A name that’s just for us.

I want to be husband to Frankie and father to the baby. And I want the word wife for Frankie. That’s the word I want to whisper into her skin at night.My wife.

But I won’t ask her with one breath and say goodbye in the next.

It’ll have to wait.

First, she needs to know that I gave my word to people from DC, that I’m leaving, that I’ll do everything I can to come back.

And when I do, I’ll come with a ring.

I’m about to turn back, to tell her, when a hand touches my arm. The woman from DC. “A word, please.”

Behind her shoulder, Alice moves from Church’s sheeted area and speaks quietly with Misty and Sheila. My blood bag is nearly full. I have to switch it for another one.

I shift the blood bag in my arms. “Yeah, just… give me a minute. I need to change this.”

36 |Slice your soul in half for me

FRANKIE

WHEN YORKE’S QUIET BOOTSTEPSget closer, I turn my face away so he won’t see my eyes, which I’m sure are red.

I could only see a few inches through the curtain, but it was enough to see the ring, to hear their murmured words, to know Rey’s heart must be breaking, to know mine is, too.

He comes back and a series of clicks and scuffs lets me know he’s likely changed out his blood bag, and then his weight shifts the gurney beside me.

I wipe at a tear that runs the length of my nose with the back of my thumb. “Just say it, Yorke. Just say it.”

“I’m leaving.” His voice is gruff. Raw. Husky.

“Why?”

“If you know enough to ask, you know why. Lavinia Hope has been looking for me. This got us peace with the Butchers, the bullet machine, and no more death.”

“When?”

“An hour or so.”

“I’m coming.”

“You can’t leave Sheila, not pregnant.”

All through the pool house, voices rise and fall. I hear Auden’s giggle by the fire.

“We promisedthis universe. No matter what. Always.”

“That was before I knew you were pregnant. I’m not taking you to DC to give birth in a strange place without Sheila and—”

“This is payback for me giving myself up to Ben.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Then deep down you want to leave. I see you, I know you. That’s always your first impulse. Run away.”

He inhales sharply, and there’s a series of slow, deliberate clicking noises as he sets up the third blood bag. Classic Yorke. I throw a low blow, I get heated and attack fast, he slows down, takes his time.

“It’s not like I want to leave, Frankie. I’m doing this to keep everyone safe.”

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