Page 69 of There's No Place Like Oz

“Dear Wizard.” I began with a curtsey. “I thought long and hard on this, and I finally understand exactly what I want.”

The little fireball surged in anticipation.

I inhaled deeply.Tap the shoes together and chant a phrase that goes like, ‘there’s no blank like blank,’I told myself. It was simple enough to replicate without needing to ask the wizard for my own set of words. For Crowe, it might have been something like ‘there’s no joy like compassion,’ and for me, a simple ‘there’s no place like home.’ It was obvious, and it was easy, and… I hope I understood Crowe right, because I’m about to take his one wish from him.

“Over the long journey through these lands, it’s become obvious that this is where I was always supposed to be. Because of that, I’ve decided that I want this place for my home.” Maybe being surrounded by psychopaths had made me one myself, because I wasn’t going to take no for an answer anymore. “More than that, I’ve decided I wantthis castleto be my own.”

“What?” The voice boomed at my audacity, but I wouldn’t be intimidated.

“It’s obvious to me now that you could have reversed these curses at any time once we had the objects, yet you did nothing until we limped back, bathed in blood, and thoroughly traumatized. Because you needed us to do the dirty work for you. You let the witches run free, terrorizing the land, and yet you still did nothing, year after year, because you weren’t strong enough to stand up to them.”

“You know not of what you speak.” The voice growled, but I shook my head, undeterred.

“Then correct me!” I shouted back. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I could feel Crowe’s hand in mine, radiating with the strength I needed. I had to take this gamble. For all of them.

When the Wizard only fumed in response, not providing even the lamest of excuses, I knew I was right, so I kept on the offensive. “And the best part of all is, it was still thewitch’spower that we’ve drawn upon here today. It was their objects that banished our curses, while you’re taking all the credit like you’re some great and mighty magician. But you’re not, are you? If you’re so fucking strong, show me! Make me shut up.”

Nothing. Still nothing. I fucking knew it.

I had the shoes, soIhad the power. “That’s what I thought.” I laughed. “I’m not going to go back to Kansas and leave my friends here under the rule of a man who never made any effort to protect them. A man so cowardly, he can’t even show his fucking face to the people he’d throw into danger, even as we’ve done everything you asked.”

“Dorothy.” Tobias uttered, surprised but not alarmed.

Leon nodded to me with a smirk.

Talos covered his laugh with his hand, perhaps not ready to share that much emotion openly, even if he was still supporting me silently.

Crowe simply studied me with the most quiet and gentle and honest smile. He said nothing, not in protest or support. He stood by my side as I stood up for myself for once—for all of us.

The Wizard was a pompous ruler in a castle built purely for his ego anyway, and I was sick of men like that being in charge. If there was one single thing I wanted to leave behind, it was this kind of bullshit, and that was what I could grant them. If I had to return to Kansas, at least they wouldn’t have to be subject to a new evil in a different cloak.

The blaze ignited to ten times its size when I tapped those shoes together for the first time in pure provocation.

“There’s no place like Oz.” I said.

“Stop this.” The Wizard shouted again. “You don’t understand what you’re doing.”

I wanted to laugh at the irony of his panic. Confirmation that he couldn’t stop a damn thing. I’d been thrown out of this castle so many times now, I wasn’t about to give him dignity he’d never offered me.

Another tap. “There’s no place like Oz.”

“Wait!” There was no heat radiating from that hologram. He didn’t really exist here at all. I was about to tap my shoes together the third time, when a voice of normal pitch and volume sounded from behind the royal chair. “Don’t you tap those shoes again!”

The fireball vanished, and in its place was a small, angry, ordinary blond haired man with hate in his eyes scrambling into view. He had plastic looking hair, high cheek bones, and a wizard robe ripped out of dungeons and dragons. He looked like a Hollywood reject—which I knew all too well, being one myself—and he whined like a child.

“Wait, who are you?” I was laughing through my disbelief.

“I’m the Wizard of Oz, who the fuck do you think I am.” He hissed.Livid. “Stupid bitch. Do you have any fucking clue what you’re doing?” He screeched. “When my balloon hauled me to Oz, this place was a bigger shit hole than my trailer in Nebraska. The beast men terrorized the land, the monsters roamed free, the munchkins governed their miserable little villages. They made me ruler because they thought my falling from the sky made me a Wizard,”sounds consistent,“but you have no idea the hard calls I’ve had to make figuring out how to fulfill that role. Without the witches, this whole continent would have crumbled into disorder. Sick as they may have been, they kept their regions in line. They paid their taxes, and they made the Emerald City flourish.”

I shifted on the red shoes still on my feet. Nebraska?No wonder he knew Kansas. I guess I wasn’t the only one who had accidentally stepped through a storm portal to Oz.

“You’ve done enough by eliminating the witches. You saved the world. Be proud. Good fucking job.” He clapped mockingly. “But Oz is mine, and it’s time for you to go home to Kansas, Dorothy.”

Crowe took the initiative, stepping forward into the center of the room with unrelenting confidence.

“No, I think she has a point, Wizard. You’ve done a shit job of keeping us safe and happy. If it’s so hard to rule, then why would you want to when there’s a perfectly strong candidate to replace you right here.” He spoke strong and firm. Crowe rolled his shoulders, and stretched his lips into a grin. “She killed the witches that you were too afraid to keep in check, and as such, it’s about time you stepped down. We can use the last wish to send you back to wherever the fuck Nebraska is. Oz belongs to my devil princess now.”

His words and support warmed my whole heart. I let him talk for me now, because I knew he understood what I wanted, and I needed to hear his voice, loud and clear, saying that he wanted that too. Deep inhissoul, he reflectedmysoul, and I trusted any words he shared.

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