Page 1 of There's No Place Like Oz

Chapter 1

I clenched my little black Scotty dog tightly against my chest, bracing him as the wheels of the plane connected with tarmac. He whimpered, and I forced myself to loosen my hold, trying not to hurt him in the process of finding my own comfort.

“Welcome to Wichita, Kansas. The current time is 3:43 PM, and the temperature is seventy-nine degrees with a chance of thunderstorms.” The pilot announced in a gentle voice over the PA. I let Toto relax on my lap while the rest of the passengers began the usual hustle and bustle. Half the crowd stood up way too early, then they waited around for five minutes in awkward positions until they could pull their luggage from the overhead and get off the plane. I waited for the whole cabin to clear out before I placed Toto on the floor and retrieved my carry-on.

I’d barely needed to bring it, really. I think I had less coming back than I had when I’d took off for the big city ten years ago. All I had left was some basic, comfortable clothing and treats for Toto.

It was all I really needed these days. I’d dreamed of owning the entire world when I first set foot in Hollywood. If only I had known all I’d be walking away with was a bushel of emotional scars. It was a blessing in disguise when my dear Aunt Em had asked me to come home to help her on the farm for a while. It meant I didn’t have to admit that Iwantedto come home, and it meant I didn’t have to admit I was doing so a failure with my head hung low. Instead, I got to tell myself and everyone else that I was just here because I was a good daughter. Considering Aunt Em had raised me from the time I was barely old enough to walk, it only felt fair that I would come home to help her when she needed me. She was my Aunt only by title and blood, but she was my mother in every real sense.

I disembarked from the plane, nodding politely to the stewardess on the way out, while Toto lead the way into the terminal. Compared to LAX, this airport was a breeze to navigate. Aunt Em and my Uncle Henry were waiting for me as I stepped out of the arrivals gate, and I climbed into the back seat of their pickup.

“It feels like it’s been ages, Dorothy.” Aunt Em said as I buckled my seat belt. “You look good! You’ve really grown into a woman since I last saw you.”

I smiled meekly, though there was nothing happy about that compliment to me anymore. I was eighteen when I left, and now I was ten years older, and a lifetime less optimistic or confident. I could see my unmade face and the first sign of my dark roots reflecting in the window. Every flaw and every blemish on my skin reflected prominently, and even with their tummy control, my comfortable black leggings didn’t make me feel any better about myself. The oversized cashmere sweater that hung off one shoulder wasn’t very flattering either. There was nothing about me that lookedgood enoughright now. Not for a red carpet and not for life.

“I see you have a friend now.” My aunt continued, nodding at my little dog. “Not sure he’ll make a very good cattle dog, but I’m sure he looks cute in a purse.”

“This is Toto.” I ruffled Toto’s fur, and he curled up on the car seat against my thigh. “Honestly, he’s the best guy I met in that whole city.” I added with a forced laugh. I said nothing about the underhanded jab at his perceived usefulness. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that he was certified as my emotional support dog.

Aunt Em was very traditional, and I knew she’d find me silly. Mental health was just something you were supposed to soldier through out here, and I’d already been judged enough. It was easier to just withhold truth as needed these days.

I loved my Aunt dearly, but sometimes love meant being careful not to rock the boat too much. Though it served to remind me just how little I fit in back here. Calling it home just because I grew up here was painfully ironic on the best of days.

“I can only imagine. Though you must have met a few nice people on set when you were recording for that commercial for… uh… what was it again?” She looked up as she searched her mental database. I opted to put both of us out of our misery.

“Toilet paper.” I couldn’t help blushing as I said it. I had moved to Hollywood to become an actress. I was convinced I could make it big if I was just around the right people with the right connections going to the right parties, but the closest I ever got to being famous was getting picked for the lead role in a TV pilot that never sold, a few straight to cable low budget movies, and acting in a commercial for soft quilted two ply. Maybe I messed up when I refused to listen to that fuck-stick of a B-Movie director when he suggested my career would definitely take off if I just got enough plastic surgery.

“Did you meet anyone really famous?” She asked in that star struck way everyone always did when I told them I lived in Hollywood.

The image of coats and cocktail dresses flashed through my mind. I could still taste the bitter flavor of his lips, mixed with whiskey, tobacco, and weed. And I could still feel the bruises on my wrists from when he’d tied me up for the shoot he’d sold to a seedy porn site without telling me. I shook my head to banish the thought. If only they knew what a shit hole that place really was.

“No one too interesting.” I replied dismissively, hoping she wouldn’t ask me to elaborate. I stroked Toto to subtly calm my increasing heart rate, then I did my best to change the subject. “How much of the harvest is left?”

“Not much.” My uncle chimed in, and I was grateful to talk about anything but my last few years. “But we would love some help with stockpiling wood for the coming winter. It’s supposed to be a real bad one this year, and your aunty here can’t chop as fast as she used to.”

“I only have to chop as fast as you can carry them, and you can’t carry as many logs as you used to either, old man.” Aunt Em glared playfully at her husband, and he grinned back at his lovely wife. That brought a legitimate smile to my face. They were always so sweet together. I wishedIhad someone like that. A forever best friend who supported me even when I was at my worst or most broken. Despite the number of times I’d joked that ‘all men are dogs.’ I would have given my right breast to meet a guy who was half as loving and loyal.

It was hard to even imagine going on a date with someone without constantly having to worry about ulterior motives. It was hard to find genuine friendship or expect any sort of commitment when half my encounters ended with discussions of what I’d get if I let them do this or that to me. I’d rather be single if my options were a bunch of men who only wanted to use me as a pretty cum receptacle.

I shook my head in an attempt to throw off the constant nagging of depression that was always eating at me nowadays. “It’s a good thing I’m a professional wood chopper.” I said, receiving both of their nods of agreement.

I wasdamngood at chopping firewood, actually. That was something positive I could still be proud of. There was a technique to it, and I perfected it over the years of keeping warmth in our run down old homestead while growing up. I had to get good at it, after all, since it seemed like I was always the only one who was cold, and they never wanted to put enough wood on the fire to fix that. As much as I resented the life I’d just left, I was definitely going to miss my perfect thermostat that I could always have set to just below boiling.

We arrived at the old cabin in the country, and Toto was quick to jump on my lap and stare out the window. His little tail wagged wildly at all the new sights and sounds. The livestock, the open fields, the blue skies—It really was beautiful in its own way.

Maybe Kansas wasn’t so bad.

After a long afternoon of catching up with my family on the perceived glitz and glam of city life, I was more than ready to retire to my room. It was a small homestead, comprised of little more than a kitchen/living room combo for the main compartment, then one full sized bedroom for my aunt and uncle, and a smaller bedroom for a child, where I laid on my old twin bed. It was a far cry from the luxury of a California King, but it was familiar. It smelled of the lilac detergent that Aunt Em always used, and the good memories of my childhood were enough to make this more comforting than the beds that all the money in the world could buy.

I sighed, then I rolled over onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. Almost immediately, my sweet little Scotty dog hopped up onto the bed and squirmed into his position between my arms. I burrowed my face into his scraggly black fur. “What do you think, Toto?” I spoke into his small, snuggly body. “I’m sorry I failed you so badly, but it might be nice to take a little while to reset, don’t you think?”

Toto whined empathetically, and I buried my face further into his warmth.

Really, even though these weren’t the circumstances that I’d hoped to return home under, this wasn’t going to be so bad. I liked the exercise of hucking hay bales and I felt kind of big and tough when I was running the tractors. It was simple and pleasant compared to the social obligations of hustling for gigs and constant wining and dining, and that’s exactly what I liked about it. Though I knew at some point it would start to get boring, and I’d be desperate for some sort of mental stimulation and big dreams and ambitions again, but for now, I’d bear with it.

I’d started to drift off when a sudden crack of thunder jolted me back into consciousness. I squeezed Toto harder as the wind started to howl. Tornados weren’t a thing back in California, and it was one of many things that I didn’t miss about living in the plains. I’d nearly forgotten about it, to be honest. If I never had to hide in a basement from the weather again, it would be too soon.

Another loud crack and the rain let loose, pounding on the roof of this old farmhouse. Water dripped in from every imperfect seal in the homestead, of which there were so very, very many. Toto ran from my arms and took shelter under the bed, and I shot up and darted into the den.

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